#jaimeeeeee

(actually, I finished it a month ago, and wrote this back then, but only now I had the chance to post it). 

I’ll do this on parts or it will be a mile long from all the rambling (not that doing it on parts will automatically prevent it from being a mile long from all the rambling).

This first post will be about Jaime, Brienne, Jaime AND Brienne, and andless unintelligible squealing about how much I ship them. Prepare for meta. 

   So in the first chapter of the book...

Me: Oh God, WTH now I’ll have to endure the son of a bitch babbling about Cersei, God it’s gross, EW, shit maybe I could just skip his chapters…

 “You figure to row all the way to King’s Landing, wench?”

“You will call me Brienne. Not wench.”

“My name is Ser Jaime. Not Kingslayer.”

 (…)

“Are there monsters hereabouts? Hiding beneath the water, perhaps? In that thick of willows? And me without my sword!”

(…)  

What do we have here, an honest muttonhead or a lickspittle?

Ser Cleos prattled blithely on. “Any man who’d believe that a Sworn Brother of the Kingsguard would harm a child does not know the meaning of honor.”

Lickspittle.

(…)

And by the end of the chapter…

I mean HIUSHDFHFHKAPRAPWORSZLDSZLKGÇSKDGLKPX!!!!!!!!

I used to think of him just as a stupid, mean, downright evil guy who flung Bran though a window AND who banged his sister. AND WHO TRIED TO KILL ROBB THERE SHALL BE NO MERCY FOR ANYONE WHO TRIES TO KILL ROBB.

I think the reason this series is so fantastic is because it’s able to make me love the boy who was thrown out of the window and the guy who threw him in the same way. I used to hate Jaime, but after reading ASOS he became one of my favorite characters. It’s incredible how he’s so not what he seems to be from an outside perspective, and I was glad to find out he’s not just Cersei’s toy, that he actually HAS his own personality, and I have a new perspective on their relationship (but that’s for another future rant). When his hand was cut off I was like

And then I was silently reproaching myself for feeling sorry for him, I mean HE THREW BRAN OUT THE WINDOW, he’s the reason Bran can’t walk anymore AND HE WAS SHOUTING FOR ROBB AT THE WHISPERING WOOD BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KILL HIM. 

But I couldn’t help it, he was so miserable…

Sometimes he even wept, until he heard the Mummers laughing. Then he made his eyes go dry and his heart go dead, and prayed for his fever to bum away his tears. Now I know how Tyrion has felt, all those times they laughed at him.

(…)

But Jaime’s walls were gone. They had taken his hand, they had taken his

sword hand, and without it he was nothing.

That fucking Vargo Hoat SHOULD ROTT IN THE DEEPEST PIT OF THE SEVEN HELLS.

2. Brienne

I love Brienne. Her and Jaime…ZHDUSDHIADIHADADHAIHDHASEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that she’s so stubborn, and brave, and loyal to Catelyn even after she died T.T

Their fighting scene was every level of amazing, all the times he thought about mocking her but didn’t were absolutely adorable, all the times he was nice to her despite himself *.*

They will leave her a cripple too, but inside, where it does not show “Wench,” he whispered as Zollo and Rorge were cursing one another, “let them have the meat, and you go far away. It will be over quicker, and they’ll get less pleasure from it.”

“They’ll get no pleasure from what I’ll give them,” she whispered back, defiant.

Stupid stubborn brave bitch. She was going to get herself good and killed, he knew it. And what do I care if she does? If she hadn’t been so pigheaded, I’d still have a hand. Yet he heard himself whisper, “Let them do it, and go away inside.” That was what he’d done, when the Starks had died before him, Lord Rickard cooking in his armor while his son Brandon strangled himself trying to save him. “Think of Renly, if you loved him. Think of Tarth, mountains and seas, pools, waterfalls, whatever you have on your Sapphire Isle, think . . . “

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And the best. Scene. Ever.

“This is none of our concern,” Steelshanks warned Jaime. “Lord Bolton said the wench was theirs, to do with as they liked.”

“Her name’s Brienne.”

(…)

 “I’ll pay her bloody ransom. Gold, sapphires, whatever you want. Pull her out of there.”

“You want her? Go get her.”

So he did.

(…)

“Jaime.” He uncoiled, flinging the sand at the bear’s face. The bear mauled the air and roared like blazes.

“What are you doing here?”

“Something stupid. Get behind me.” He circled toward her, putting himself between Brienne and the bear.

“You get behind. I have the sword.”

“A sword with no point and no edge. Get behind me!”

(…)

“You thlew my bear!” Vargo Hoat shrieked.

“And I’ll serve you the same if you give me trouble,” Steelshanks threw back. “We’re taking the wench.”

“Her name is Brienne,” Jaime said. “Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?”

Her broad homely face turned red. “Yes.”

“Oh, good,” Jaime said. “I only rescue maidens.”

FJSKFJSJDFOJAFOSJLKJSDLKJOIREJGRJESM.KVMAOJIPWOIECOIUSCOINTENRTOVSUER!!!!!!!!!!!

And the killing blow:

Why come back?”

A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. “I dreamed of you,” he said.

T.T

An now Westeros’ greatest hits:

And the most played song in our beloved continent is…

“A BEAR THERE WAS, A BEAR, A BEAR! ALL BLACK AND BROWN, AND COVERED WITH HAIR...”

I’ve lost count of how many times this song was mentioned OR sung.

And the close second is…

“AND WHO ARE YOU, THE PROUD LORD SAID, THAT I MUST BOW SO LOW?...”

And my favorite quote from Lady Olenna (GRRM SO should write a book all about her)

“Alaric of Eysen,” said Lady Olenna Tyrell, leaning on her cane and taking no more notice of the wine-soaked dwarf than her granddaughter had done. “I do so hope he plays us ‘The Rains of Castamere.’ It has been an hour, I’ve forgotten how it goes.”