#jabbotmd

“  you don’t have to hide your tears.  let it out.  then we’ll move on,  together.  ”

SHE'S SO TIRED OF CRYING , TIRED OF BEING SAD — and she's so tired of her shoulder hurting . Sometimes she felt older than her age . Now , she had gotten the the phone call that would shift her world yet again . Igraine knew it would be different , she would come back different , and she hated it . The deep seeded fear that by the time she returned back from deployment , her place would be gone here , and she would be forgotten .

❝ I hate crying , ❞ she admitted , her waterline already shiny with unshed tears by the time she looked up at him . ❝ I don't want to go back . I don't know who I'm going to be when I come back — I'm already so tired . I'm afraid the Igraine that comes back is going to ruin everything I've tried so hard to build , ❞ she spits out her own name like bile . Like it's already been decided this new version of her will wreck everything . All of the hard work she's put into undoing how her brain now operates . The friendships and relationships she's brought through with her on the other side .

❝ Life is going to go on here , you're going to go on here , and I'll be stuck watching through a screen . ❞

They were in the middle of a conversation about patients, there’s a waiting room of people outside and she’s doing her best to find the most efficient way of clearing rooms. Discharge this one, discharge that one and refer to physio, that one needs to go to CT, med-surge floor admit for another patient - chase up the admissions team and hound them, because otherwise they are going to take their sweet time coming down. 

If anything, she liked these kinds of conversations. Mel knows that sounds strange but she is becoming a senior resident now. In a year she will be fully qualified and she hopes to still be here. The role she was going to have to play would shift from trainee to attending, fully qualified, and well on her way to one day being in shoes. 

And she can’t help it if the additional responsibility feels like progress. 

Then…there is a sound. A strange one to her, a pop kinda crack? She’s not heard it before…can’t place it… So much so seems almost unbothered by it? A casual glance over her shoulder towards its origin there’s no fear in her. Except there’s something strange on the air at that moment. Mel could have sworn the entire room was still for a moment. A liminal second where everyone existed all at once and nothing did. The world holding its breath. 

She had no idea what was going on, and yet she was already halfway to the ground, feeling like her arm was being pulled along the way. Mel hits the floor with an audible ‘oft’ as chaos erupts. Her shoulder hits what she thinks is the underside of the nurses station, then there’s that popping sound again, things breaking, people yelling, and it’s so loud she doesn’t know what to do.

i just had to share the world's ugliest mug i got from @hellfirelives/ @jabbotmd for my birthday tomorrow and i had to show it off. i haven't stopped laughing since i got it. thing is straight up horrifying haha. my cats do not trust it.

also they got me this "smells like dean winchester" candle which smells remarkably like the shampoo i use. so apparently i've been walking around smelling like dean winchester all along.

never beating those "actually dean winchester" allegations.

She looked up from her charts, rolling her eyes. It seemed every time she turned around she was doing something wrong in this place. Usually it was Robby that got on her case, or Langdon making her question herself. Never did she think that she would need to worry about him. "There isn't anything to discuss. I have a few more charts and then i am going home for the night." Santos simply said. She wasn't trying to be rude, but she was over it. It was a long shift, a lot of avoidances from Dr.Garcia. -- She needed to sleep, for a few hours... A few days. Anything really.

With Whitaker out for who knows how long at the farm, she would have time to mope around the house without anyone else interfering. To wither away until her next shift. Something she could not wait to do. Right now she wished she could skip charting and just go.

※.·:·.※ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖 | @jabbotmd

andrea had spent most of her career learning how to let things roll off her. patients yelled. patients threatened. patients said things they didn't mean when they were scared, hurting, intoxicated, or withdrawing. most shifts she could separate herself from it. tonight had been different. maybe because the patient hadn't stopped or maybe because he'd looked directly at her when he'd said it. maybe because every ugly word had landed on an old bruise she pretended wasn't there anymore.

the rant had started with refusing care and escalated from there. slurred accusations. insults. then racism. loud enough for half the department to hear. andrea had done what she always did — stayed professional. then she found herself on the roof fifteen minutes later with no memory of deciding to come up here. the cold night air should have helped. instead, it just made her aware of how hard her heart was beating. so when jack found her, she didn't argue or joke around they way she usually would

' you're safe here. i promise. ' her answer came quietly, "i know." she hated how small her voice sounded. it made it seem like she didn't truly believe it . . . which was true. her arms folded tighter across her chest. "i just needed a breather."

"I was wondering when trouble would come walking back in." She flashed a very rare smile, he was the easier of the attendings to work with. He was sarcastic and charming in his own right but she more just enjoyed the banter that one could only truly get when there was an understand that it was indeed banter.

@jabbotmd / prompt

A lot happened very fast.

First she heard the sound of a vehicle in the driveway and didn't recall that anyone was coming over. She went to get out hammock and thats when things got hairy. The balance was off and the hammock flipped, there was a yelp and the sound of a body hitting the ground. "Owwww."

She groaned and heard the fence door open looking to see who had the pleasure of seeing her in such a state. Oh good... it's Jack.

"Hi.... Hows it going?"