218 Lbs.
So, recently I finished a surrogacy. Pre- pregnancy I had gone from 235 lbs to 170 lbs. While I was pregnant, my weight shot up to almost 250 lbs. As of last night, I weight 218 lbs, and I hate it. It eats at me drives me crazy. I am 2 and a half months post partum. Normally I bounce back pretty quickly, but this pregnancy, I had a c section. Which in itself is a whole different recovery process. It is major surgery after all.
The thing is, I dont feel like I’m that big. It’s not til I try to wear my clothes and either they don’t fit, or my fat rolls over and it just makes me sick.
I’m trying to work on self discipline. Last time I lost weight, it wasnt because I was dieting and exercising. It was mostly me not eating, some illicit drug use, and walking EVERYWHERE in 120 degree dry heat. Jeans, boots, jacket and all.
This time, I wana do it right. So I’m coming to the one place that I truly feel like my self. Maybe by writing about it and putting it out there, I’ll feel more inclined to go through with it. I know I’m gonna fuck up.. probably a lot, but I’m not gonna give up this time.
So if there’s anyone out there that actually sees this? Might be going through something similar? Or maybe even just wanting reciprocated support. Feel free to message me. <3
