I wanted to cry
I wanted to cry tears of joy
When I saw my idol bellowing on stage and twinkling bright
Instead I was struck numb
Unable to comprehend my euphoria
I wanted to cry
When I got home from so very far away
And saw all the little creatures that love me so
But instead wide eyed and mouth open
My heart felt closed
Even when I saw the wide open skies
Of the dizzying road
That I fought so hard to be able to travel down
There was that block
The tears wouldn't flow.
Only when I find myself
Body worn
Heart aching and lonely
Do the tears rip through me
Like a lions roar rips through miles
Only when I'm clawed wide open
Do they come out with purpose.
Where did my happy tears go?
I miss them.
I miss them.
These are so heavy, they sleep with me
On my bathroom floor
