Jamil: (...What's a word that rhymes with "wife" that I can claim I misheard? Life? Strife? Knife? Fuck.)

he is a very serious boy and hence he shall lock in (continuation of mer au)

More Jamil shenanigans in this AU:

Mr future schemer and overthinker is Very Serious and the type of kid who thinks himself more mature and serious than his peers

(But still clearly operating on kid logic)

Hence the very diligent "research" after he gets home, and somehow convincing himself this debt needs to be repaid with a lifelong commitment

Starts being weird at school and implying he's Taken by doing things like turning down dances in gym class because he's committed (some of the other kids think wow that's so cool)

In a few years (maybe by age 10) he realizes this is insane and drops the idea and never brings it up again, except other ppl still remember so someone (possibly Kalim) asks "Hey how's your gf/you don't bring up your gf anymore"

Jamil panics and claims they broke up because they can't be together anymore (very tragic. Idea may or may not be stolen from one of his mom's romance novels that he read as a part of his "research")

Bro has to live with the fact that he invented an entire tragic romance plot with someone he doesn't even know the name of

You cannot waterboard this information out of him in present day