Jamil had only taken his eyes off Kalim for three seconds.

Three seconds, and somehow, the potion on the burner went from a mild sleeping draft to a blinding plume of violet smoke. He didn’t even get a chance to say “Kalim, no,” before the magic backfired.

When the haze cleared, Kalim blinked in confusion.

“Jamil?” he called. No answer. “...Jamil?”

All that remained of the Vice Housewarden was a neatly folded pile of black and red fabric—and a snake.

A long, sleek, very unamused looking snake.

Mayu Shiokawa didn’t expect to find a snake curled up on the classroom floor when she walked in late to retrieve her forgotten notebook. And yet, there he was. Black and bronze scales. Cold red eyes. A little triangle head tilting up at her.

She shrieked.

He hissed.

She paused.

He stared.

“…Wait,” she whispered, slowly lowering her notebook. “Are you… someone’s familiar?”

The snake blinked once.

He was silent. Dignified.

“Oh my Seven,” she gasped, crouching beside him. “You’re adorable!”

Jamil—now snek—sighed internally.

She picked him up.

She didn’t report it. Not because she was irresponsible, but because she assumed the snake was magical and lost, and it just looked like he needed a nap and some boiled chicken.

So she brought him to her dorm.

Nestled him in a warm, soft towel.

Fed him small, diced bits of protein.

And named him.

“You shall be…” she mused, poking his snoot, “my squishy wishy spaghetti.”

If Jamil could talk, he’d be screaming.

Instead, he recoiled slightly. She giggled.

“Don’t be shy, Boop Noodle. I’m good with reptiles. You’re safe here.”

Boop Noodle.

BOOP NOODLE.

He flicked his tongue in protest. She took that as a thank-you.

Over the next few days, “Boop Noodle” got the princess treatment. Mayu brushed his scales with a soft toothbrush, gave him tiny sunbathing breaks by the window, and sang songs while cooking his meals.

She also, tragically, shared everything with him.

“I had the weirdest dream last night,” she whispered, holding him in both hands. “I dreamt Jamil Viper turned into a snake, and I—oh no,” she suddenly froze, “I kissed him in the dream.”

Jamil tried to writhe out of her grip.

She tightened her hold and gasped. “Oh Seven, I’m so sorry, Boop Noodle! That’s gross, huh?”

She kissed the top of his little snake head instead.

He froze. Again.

“I mean, Jamil is really handsome,” she continued casually, not noticing the way her snek stiffened in her arms. “But he’d never notice someone like me.”

Jamil stopped moving altogether.

Was this what it felt like to die of secondhand embarrassment?

When the spell finally wore off, it happened in the middle of the night.

Mayu awoke to rustling. Still half-asleep, she groaned and reached for the blanket she’d draped over “Boop Noodle’s” little basket-bed.

Only to find a very human, very shirtless Jamil sitting cross-legged on her dorm floor.

She screamed.

He winced. “Could you not wake the entire building?”

She screamed again, this time louder.

He rolled his eyes. “Mayu. It’s me.”

“…Boop Noodle?!”

His entire face twitched. “Please. Never call me that again.”

“You—you were the snake?!”

“Yes.”

“And I—! And you—!” Her face turned beet red. “The toothbrush! The singing! The kiss!!”

Jamil looked tired. “Yes. I remember everything.”

She scrambled for a pillow to scream into.

He stood up and calmly pulled the blanket off the bed to drape over his shoulders like a cloak.

“…I’m sorry,” she mumbled into her knees. “I didn’t know it was you. I thought you were a regular snake! A magical one, maybe. But not—you!”

Jamil shrugged. “Well, I am magical.”

“Not the time!”

He exhaled softly. “I’ll forgive the name. Boop Noodle. But only because you took good care of me. And sang off-key lullabies.”

“They weren’t off-key.”

“They were.”

Silence stretched.

Then, very softly, he added, “But… they were nice.”

Mayu peeked at him through her fingers.

Jamil shifted closer, dropping the teasing tone. “You were kind to me. Even when you didn’t know it was me.”

“You hissed at me when I kissed you.”

“I panicked.”

“…Do you want to hiss at me again?”

Jamil blinked.

Mayu swallowed. “Because… I wouldn’t mind trying the kiss again. You know. Now that you have lips.”

He looked at her. Steady. Thoughtful.

And then—

He smirked.