#it two

Bill put the firsts bricks right after he started thinking about her like that. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help thinking about her, her lips, her soft skin.

She would say goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and he would think about it. She would laugh at his jokes and he would think about it. She would hum parts of a song while cleaning the girl's bedroom and he would think about it. She would help him cook and he would think about it.

The train thought started with a touch, maybe his shoulder, maybe her hand; then it would lead to a kiss, soft and caring, then deep and needy, then there would be more touching, his arms, her neck, his chest, her legs, his hair, her ass, his... and then he would stop it. Most times. The rest of the times he was alone and it was dark outside.

But he felt guilty, and dirty -in a bad way.

She worked for him, and he was sure she didn't see him like that. She was younger, not by much, but still. And she was an actress who hadn't had her big break and advances like those from him could be received for the wrong reasons. Still, he couldn't help but to look at her lips, hear her every word and accidentally -but gladly- smell her perfume, or maybe it was her conditioner.

So he hid it for as long as his heart and the situation allowed it. And she noted it. He started joking a bit less, not asking her to stay for dinner or have her help him with cooking, not longer smiling at her a bit too sweetly for a bit too long.

For a second she feared she was about to be fired, but then a bigger fear came to mind, maybe he knew. She felt like an idiot, she was always too obvious about her feelings, letting them show without realizing it. She decided to dial it back. She started to laugh as little as she could at his jokes, and tried to keep the chat to a minimum, trying to show that she got the message. He felt like an idiot when he saw her withdraw everyday, but he guessed it was bound to happen and that it was for the best.

But, no matter how long it took to build that wall, it took only one night to tear it down.

Bill came home late, and Stephanie had to wait for him so the girls wouldn't be alone at home, even if they were asleep. Bill texted her an apology and the time he would be home. She had to be two hours alone, and she couldn't take it. She had a rough day, one more rough day, one after too many and she felt alone, and she was alone and the girls wouldn't hear her cry, but she tried not to. She tried so hard not to think about everything that was missing, all the things that were falling apart, all of her doubts. But it all creeped back to her mind, giving her no rest, tormenting her mind every second. She held back the tears as long as she could but, just as Bill was arriving, she broke down. So preoccupied with calming her cries she didn't noticed Bill entering the room.

He felt his heart crumble down at the sight. She was crunched over herself in the couch, hands covering her face and body trembling every couple of seconds. He stepped forward, trying to think of what to do, but before he could say anything she noticed him. — Bill! — she exclaimed as she stood up and tried to dry most of the tears off her face — I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to-

— Hey, it's fine. — he assured. She looked at him hesitatingly, he could tell she needed to talk — Do you wanna talk about it? — not long ago, before they built up that high. unbearable wall, they were close friends, he knew her, and she knew him and maybe that was why she decided to go against every instinct she had built up recently, why she decided to brake down the wall, just a little.

— I'm fine. — she said out of costume. But she saw the look on his face and remembered who he was, his kind heart, his attentive and understanding soul. She let her shoulders down with a short sight — It's just- I got rejected, for another part.  — she made a face and held her left arm with her right hand, trying to hold herself together. Telling herself over and over not to cry — It's the first callback I got in months. I thought I had it but- I didn't. — she shrugged her shoulders and slowly shook her head, tears lingering on her eyes and her voice breaking a little more with every word she said. He felt his chest tightened at the sight of her breaking in front of him — At the beginning of this year I thought I had it, even if I felt lonelier than ever, even if I missed my family, my friends and nothing seemed to be giving in. I thought that if I just get more auditions, practice more, learn more stupid things to put on my talents I would get lucky, but- — she broke down almost completely. She put her hands on her face and tried to regain her composure. All she could do was calm herself enough to say — I'm almost thirty and this job and a couple of extras is all I have to show for. — her voice was strangled and defeated, her hands no longer covering her face but she still wasn't looking at him }, she couldn't — And, it's not that I don't love the girls and you, and working here, but- it's not my dream, — she finally looked at him, heart on her sleeve, letting her facade go, letting any impediment between her and everything else break down along the tear streaming down her face — and that kills me a little every day.

He instinctively hugged her, no longer thinking about anything but to make her feel good again, to make her smile but she kept crying — Hey. I get it. It's gonna be alright, I promise. — he felt her cry against his chest and his heart broke even harder that he thought it could've ever be broken — Please don't cry. — he begged, holding her just a bit closer, just a bit tighter. But she broke away, covering her face with her hands, making him feel cold and lonely, making him realize how right having her close felt, how much he needed her.

— You're right, I'm sorry. — she shook her head, letting her face be seen but still not looking at him — This is stupid. — she lamented, making him feel like an idiot.

— No, it's not. — without thinking it twice he grabbed her hands, trying to get her attention, trying to reassure and console her — It's good but- it just breaks my heart to see you like that. — he looked at her eyes analyzing him, her tears shining with the dimmed light coming from the kitchen. He felt his heart beat faster the moment she looked at his lips, and he felt it skip when she leaned upwards and forward to kiss him softly.

He broke away for a second and looked at her, still standing close — You don't have to do that. — he assured, fearful she only did it for pressure, because he was Bill Hader and not Bill.

— I know, I want to.

He froze for a second, finding it hard to believe, but then he saw the way she was looking at him, the way she was hopping with her eyes, and returned the kiss. He felt everything to be right again, like if everything was were it supposed to be and the universe was smiling at them. He made it deeper and more needy, sliding his tongue and making her knees tremble, she held herself on his arms and he grabbed her neck with so delicately yet demanding. She was caught off guard by the way he made her feel, tingle running through her body with every grasp, every finger on her neck.

She slid a hand on his chest and went down his torso, just for the sake of it, just because she could, and that made him react by grabbing her legs and pulling her up on the table, making her loose contact on her hand, so she decided to go for his hair. They kept kissing, it felt fast and needy, like someone drinking water after three days on the desert, but it was still caring and oddly delicate.

His hands, which were caressing her legs, went upward, touching her above her jean, and she felt desperate as he grabbed her ass and pulled his groin against her, making his way between her legs. Every movement he made felt like he was teasing her. In the haze her head was because of the chaos forming in her abdomen, she let go of his hair and let her hands go to his belt, getting it unbuckled before he could say anything. She was about to unzip his pant and slid her hands under his boxer but he stopped her — I don't think that's a good idea. — he declared, making her almost whine.

— Why? — she asked, breath heavy and fast. Between his almost closed eyes he saw her lips red and puffy, he felt his own attracted to them like magnets.

— The girls are in their bedroom.

She backed down a little, feeling discouraged. She nodded — I'm sorry.

— Don't be.

They stayed as they were, his hands now on her arms, holding her close and steady, her hands on his waist, trying not to let go of him. His forehead against her's and their chests raising and falling on a steady yet fast rithm.

— What are we gonna do about this? — she asked, truly fearful.

— I'm not sure. — he leaned backwards to look at her with a reassuring look — We should get you a better agent, but I'm gonna hate getting a new nanny.