Top Posts Tagged with #it is so...big... how can she even carry that...

Quietus.

#finally got around to doing the collection #an EVEN BIGGER gun for Amber #Mika Amber Langley #it is so...big... how can she even carry that...#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 screenshot #tbh love the lil sidebang she got going on in the first pic #i know just clipping hair but what if!

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rewatching steven universe with my roommate who's never seen it before has been a bit of a trip because while they're trying to ask me who tf pink diamond is i'm just sitting and wondering how i never picked up on pearl's gradual butchification as the show goes on. girl put on a suit once and realized things about herself and you can literally see it happen in real time its actually awesome as hell

#rambling like hell to explain what i mean in these tags u know how it goes #my only posts on this blog in the past like eight years that aren't reblogs are about butch cartoon characters. as it should be #fuck it i'll even tag this one #steven universe #pearl su #stuniverse rewatch ramblings #me post #throughout the whole show her design has always been pretty androgynous but after Mr. Greg i feel like i noticed a distinct *shift*#in her temporary alternate outfits in particular. like there was already a shift from her first outfit with the skirt & sheer fabrics #& then when she regenerated she lost the sheer fabric but kept the “skirt” and very clear ballet influence + added a big ass bow #but then in Mr. Greg she puts on a suit and says “I must admit- it's a perfect fit” looking at herself with a surprised expression #as far as i could tell it's the first time in the whole show she has an overtly /masculine/ outfit instead of vaguely-feminine androgyny #and then in the few times she wears People Clothes after that they're pretty masculine too! no skirts or sheer fabric or ribbons at all #her waitress “uniform” in restaurant wars & the classic-style baseball fit in hit the diamond as some examples #and then i think the jacket & jeans look from last one out of beach city probably cemented in her that she *wants* to look more masculine #so then in her next regeneration she still keeps the ballet shoes but she has an entirely new silhouette #whereas before there was a bit of emphasis on her waist/hip area from the skirt & ribbon she now has a jacket that emphasizes her shoulders #and *pants!* none of her other regenerations had full-length pants before!!#and there's no skirt or bow or sheer fabric whatsoever- pretty much all of the small details that made her look “fancy” are gone #and all this combined with the fact that her overall color palette is much more heavy on the teal makes me kinda emotional ngl #because it's like. as she learns more how to be her own person without rose you can see her find her new identity in her gender expression #she learns to fully indulge in what she likes rather than what's expected of her- she's expected to be fancy but she goes simple #she used to wear the crystal gem star on her chest in the same way the homeworld gems wore the diamonds on theirs. now it's on her back #she's always had pink as an accent color but now it's almost drowned out by the teal that has always been used to represent herself #she'll always carry rose & their history together with her; but she doesn't wear it like a uniform anymore #now she presents herself to the world first rather than the person she used to serve #and all of that is shown by her presenting more masculine! she's not butch in the same way as jasper or bismuth but she's BUTCH!!! AAUUGH!!#i missed this show so muuuchh idk if any of this was actually intended but the fact that it's as plausible as it is makes me really happy

Bonus 12: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #wen qing #wen ning #WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him #only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!

everybody be niceys to me i am playing with my tuoys

#ocs #furry #WOE BE UPON YE. furries them for fun and profit #TWAS AN EXERCISE IN FINDING ANIMALS THAT ECOLOGICALLY FIT A RELEVANT NICHE #and it was fun #liliana and reiji were the easiest #and for everyone thats animal-like in their canon designs i deliberately did NOT just make them that animal bcause thats too easy #and not even accurate when you think about the role those animals play or the FEELING of the animal #liliana. her ass is NOT a deer. she's not skittish or largely solitary or a prey animal #reiji has nothing to do like feelings-wise with a crow or a raven. scavenger? nay. problem solving? never #milo is the only one that's kinda close. though fauns are more goat-based than sheep-based #i knew he was a sheep it's just that i didn't want to make him a domestic sheep #because all the others are wild animals and using a domestic animal for only one felt weird #and would carry a weird connotation with it that felt out of place. because how do you pick a specific breed #if they don't have an ecological role... im doing it ecology style #but he CAN be a wild species of sheep. and bighorns have those big ol' horns. sniles #OH and i forgot to put it in there but the reason I chose bighorn specifically was because they're mountain sheeps. he's a mountains faun #i think he's my favorite YES because i like sheep but he's also the only one I gave hair. because it felt weird on all the others #but his hair is such an integral part of his character AND design that it felt really wrong to leave it out #i didn't lend a lot of effort to properly like. fursoning them? because that's not really what i cared about #i focused more on the actual look of the animal and. again. the biological role of it. in the coloration #which is why reiji is not a melanistic hare. because hypermelanism is normal for his species in canon #but is not normal for a hare. so translating a normal reiji to a normal hare would be a reddish-brown hare. not a black one #YES making him melanistic would look more like If Reiji Had A Fursona but eh. i dont care. im more concerned with the Animal #and the niche it occupies.#ALL THAT TO SAY. watch me play with my tuoys :]

This kitten legit refuses to not be held, goodness gracious.

#set her up with her dinner. went to get mine ready (mom is working so i'm on solo kitten patrol)#she finished eating before i even finished heating up my leftovers and feeding the dogs #and started SCREAMING #so i fashioned a makeshift baby carrier by putting my jacket on backwards and plopping her in the hood of it #then i decided when i was done i would go set up one of the rooms to give her some real space to wander and play #and so i feel less anxious about the dogs (they're a bit over zealous in their curiosity and it worries me a little)#i tried to put her in her crate so she was safe while i set the baby gate and everything up #and she starts crying the second i do so i had to support her in my hood and carry everything up with one hand #she now has a nice big space to get her energy out #and is sassing me because i won't let her run across my computer keyboard #well. as sassy as one can be when one weighs less than a pound and is still figuring out how to walk and run without falling over #probably delete later

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holding moana and mulan so tightly in my arms

#listen i know raya was a movie that was the closest to my culture's rep (SEAsian) BUTTTTT>..... i didnt really like that movie #and there wasnt any deeper personal connection for me outside of “wow they maybe kinda look like me and they live where my ancestors lived”#like cool. shes SEAsian. but that was it. and our dragons too but it wasnt the cool dragons i wanted #so i cling to moana #because she and her people genuinely look like me and my people! moana is the closest disney rep i have to my actual body type!#like when the trailers were out i immediately went “hey she looks like me!!! shes got my arms and my legs and my nose and facial structure!#yes shes polynesian but also filipinos are also very close to polynesia so obv we're gonna have similar body types and face shapes #and not to mention my culture - the kapampangans - used to be wayfarers who sailed the seas and had boats like hers #(cause i feel many people dont realize that modern philippines still has hundred of individual separate peoples inside of it)#so i feel so close to her desire on wanting to go out and sail #(and something something a metaphor for wanting to be who i am as a man even though my family wants be to be the “perfect daughter”) UGGHHH #“how far ill go” is one of my closest songs to my heart. ever. shes me #like ive always craved the ocean since moving to canada. as someone who knows that my homeland has the tropics...#being in a landlocked prairie makes me miss home so much #like my people used to genuinely live by the ocean #theres a part of me that hears them inside #big reason why i got an anchor and ship's wheel tattoos #so i can remember home and the ocean every time i look at them #theres way more meaning behind them but then id run out of tags #and mulan... girl she gets me #outside of the big obvious (transgender allegory) that you can pick up #(cough cough “reflection” cough cough)#(wow that song really hits me hard like. yeah. love that song and hold it close to my heart cause THATS ME)#and getting a man who loves me for me no matter who i am #but the expectations she has to carry as her father's child. being perfect. being a good woman. being feminine #and getting the chance to gain honour through fighting instead as well as keeping her own father safe #and her discovering herself and enjoying that life as a man more #even though she still has to hide herself away from the other men and her family #BUT the story of bringing honour to her family hits home #as i am the only child i have all these expectations to be the best student and get a good job and be the daughter my family wants

here together

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corp spoilers #lobotomy corporation spoilers #abram lobcorp #i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up #so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like #i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing #i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container #how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei #downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on #her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it #in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee #to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end #the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment #but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more #to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply #regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you #bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram #the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49 #oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops

hardwon surefoot is the funniest bisexual character of all time to me bc jake seems fairly committed to playing cishet men. as in all his other pcs in naddpod are men who jump on opportunities to express attraction to female characters but not really male characters at all. but naddpod being as horny a podcast as it is murph will describe a male character and emily or caldwell will make the joke of him being hot and you can Hear jake jumping in as a comedian/improviser, only for like emily to go "hey. hey hardwon are you being fr right now" and murph to make the character earnestly match or even go above and beyond hardwon's accidental flirtatious energy. forcing jake to commit to the bit. which has resulted in hardwon kissing so many men in the show. even tho jake only ever initiates hardwon talking abt women- and even funnier more specifically Failing at talking to women. hardwon has had one singular girlfriend ever and completely bombed even the smallest of flirtations w every other woman hes been into. only one (1) time in the 99th episode out of 100 does hardwon kiss a woman or even have any sort of attraction reciprocated bc most of them think hes weird and lame. but not only has hardwon expressed physical attraction to an equal amount of male characters as female characters. he has successfully kissed several men and fully made out w i think at least two. happy pride month to hardwon surefoot specifically.

#june speaks #june experiences audiovisual media #while my fwb hardshine shipper ass does fully believe that hardwon would have lost his virginity to moonshine (i just dont think he actuall #had sex w shivl). bc i like the idea of hardwon needing his first time to be w someone he trusts so fully he'd be willing to let down his #emotional walls and be vulnerable with instead of feeling the social pressure to perform ''coolness'' and ''masculinity'' and ''normality''#for someone hes not such close friends with. i Do believe after that hardwon has hooked up w an order of magnitude more men than women bc h #gets soooo into his own head abt How To Approach A Girl whereas he'll meet some dude at a bar hang out w some guy friend whatever and not #pay attention to their advances/his own attraction until theyre literally making out. even then hardwon will be like yeah hes hot sure but #this is fine haha isnt this funny. but he wont have that kneejerk panic to Oh Shit Its A Hot Girl. which carries him through the encounter #enough that he. yknow. actually gets to the point of having sex at all w way more men over the years. he still goes out w moonshine w the #stated intent to look for hot women together regardless. moonshine does take note of all this but never says anything to him bc shes not #going to be the one who opens that can of worms for him. besides sexuality is fluid and gender isnt that big of a deal at the crick so she #doesnt realize the extent of the neuroses hardwon has w (hetero)sexuality being tied up w his forced hyperperformance of manhood #ANYWAYS................i think abt these characters a normal amount

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