Fastball to the face
You don't see it coming but it comes from the most obvious. Straight from the person;s hand and into your face. My chest hurts more than my face though. My chest really hurts and I don't know how to fix it its happening right now and Im too much of a coward to confront he issue or feeling . I feel like throwing up and hoping that I choke on it without realizing . That's it then its over no more worries about anything no more anything ever again. This is a cry out for anything its just a feeling felt because of a certain person trying to spitefully do so. Remind yourself to never sink to that or fall from that spot. Your better than that you don't have to take that shit. You know your better and if your you deserve to be treated like shit by someone better than that.A bird that will swoop down and grab the snake that is about to bite you. It has you in its best interest. Wondering why is this happening. I love prius' by the way never owned one but they make sense. I would later in life like to own one's I would like to. Cant be left with all this shit. It keeps piling up and now its overflowing and pouring into the basement. I luckily have a thought ahead compulsion and it has helped in this situation. God god god . Tell me what to do , tell me where to go. Ive lost where to go I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to start over and again. I just need to excel where I am at. I do so much better in the solo department i f. Ride The wagon . I can fix a wheel if it falls of but the wagon can weigh a lot if I have a spiteful unappreciative cat that meows constantly. I can never get the cat and see how things are I just want the cat to help. Well I know all this sounds insane well when your chest hurts this bad a lot of things make a lot of sense. It just does
I have to sit with the fact that I let someone do that to me. It makes me want to do it to them. I want them to feel this way. I want them to hurt like. this. Even though I would never want anyone to fell like this. It would kill me if I knew someone I loved felt like this. It hurts that they don't care like you do. Where do I ramble to where can I ramble on. Just sit back learn how to do with the shit that this person can so aimlessly deal out to people they love. I hate even talking about it because it constantly puts the thought and image into my. I have to tell myself yo know that you can do better , much better you learn to love the person because you see the person to love.
now you wait for the bullshit that is going to be the story that they actually try to tell you. Stuff made up that you are suppose to believe. I swallow the hunger pang and hiccup until I get a headache, Why? Did i deserve this? No I don't think I think I deserve better than this I don't deserve pretty much were that leads I will really know if she is drinking. It will solidify what I already know . God again I want to throw up in my mouth I don't get any smokes its going to be along hard night, Maybe I could call a friend and relish in the moment . I would just feel bad. Maybe I could feel bad for that instead of thinking of the other. The end
