#is priceless

So my dad has cancer. It seems like every time he finishes treatment for something, it pops up somewhere else.

I adore my dad. He's the actual best. I have so many Mary's Dad stories but he is just quintessential DAD... mostly because HIS dad was a genuinely good man and a good father and so my dad doesn't have much generational trauma he's unlearning. He's super proud of me and loves when I argue with him and loves learning from me and we have KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT fights when we disagree and it just makes us both giddy? because we are both so safe with each other and we know we can put it all out there and still be loved.

Anyways. Writing about Zelda/Rauru makes me ugly cry. Like deep, soul-rending, gut-wrench, sob until I vomit kind of cry. I am just not in a place to be able to render the TOTK loss-of-parental-figure storyline that I feel is so huge for Zelda's arc.

So! I do intend to write it. I know exactly how it needs to go. But trying to put it to paper is dealing way too much psychic damage.

I won't be able to write it until (a) Dad is cancer free for realsies, or, worse, (b) I've lose him and I use Zelda to vent this horrible grief onto.

Ultimately, the best thing we can do for our parents is outlive them. And I intend to! For him! He deserves to be surrounded by love when he goes. But fuck if it doesn't suck.