#irphanfic

He was about to get up and dress as quick as possible to leave this nightmare when suddenly the bedroom door opened, a messy haired Phil walking in with a tray on his hands that carried a few plates and mugs, his glasses falling a bit down his nose making him trip a bit at the entrance but quickly regaining the balance.

''Oh, you are up! It was going to be a surprise but I brought you breakfast!'' Phil said with a tired smile, walking towards Dan who just blankly stared at him.

Had Phil, who had only been his boyfriend for a few hours, really walked in to bring Dan breakfast? Now, this was a fucking dream. Dan only thought this only happened in movies...

''I only had cereal and a bit of fruit, but I made coffee with two sugars as you like it. I can do some toast if you would like but I don't have any jam so I thought it wouldn't be the best idea and...'' Phil rambled as he set the tray down on Dan's lap, bracketing his thights and sitting down next to Dan, popping up some pillows on the headboard to get more comfortable.

Dan continued to stare. He was sure he looked stupid right now but he couldn't seem to function. This was something Dan had been dreaming of happening for a while now and Phil had managed to do it without even knowing that Dan would have wanted something like this.

''Is something wrong? You don't like this cereal, I can bring you oth...'' Dan heard Phil ask with a concerned expression on his face.

''No!'' Dan cut him off, maybe a bit too loudly and strong than he had intended, ''No, Phil, no. I... I like this cereal. I like this breakfast thing, I like it a lot. Thank you.'' Dan said in a softer tone this time, accompaning all the words with a proper smile, ''It's actually one thing... no, it's silly nevermind, let's eat.'' Dan said, wanting to tell Phil about his 'dream', but Phil would proably think it was so foolish and lame so he discarded the idea of even mentioning something.

''Hey, no Dan, if it matters to you it cannot be silly, okay? You can tell me if you want.'' Phil said, grabbing one of Dan's hands between his, somehow giving Dan an impulse to start opening up to the blue eyed.

''It's just... everytime I felt lonely I wished for someone to enter my bedroom and bring me breakfast with coffee, some fruit, pancakes and a rose, I don't really know why but then you suddenly entered the bedroom and I... It's just a small gesture but to me it means a lot. And the fact that you didn't even know about it makes it more impressive so... thank you.'' Dan explained, feeling a lot better already.

''Well, I'm sorry mine didn't carry pancakes or a rose so I think for next time I will have to keep that in mind.'' Phil said, bringing Dan for a sweet kiss that had his heart fluttering not only because of the soft and gentle kiss, but also the words. He would love to have breakfast in bed with Phil every morning.

''Wait, you don't have practice today?'' Phil asked as soon as they separated.

''I did, but I called yesterday and coach let me the next two days off. I guessed I would need a bit of time to process whatever happened when I came to yours.'' Dan said, taking a small sip from his coffee, ''This was more important to me than practice anyways, so I even if I didn't have permission to miss training I would have done it anyways. My mind would be too busy and wouldn't be able to concentrate so...''

''So, given that you don't have more practice till Monday.... you wanna spend this four day weekend with me? I mean, I have to work on Friday but we could still manage to arrange something, it's just a few hours.'' Phil suggested with a smile, taking a few pieces of fruit.

Dan beamed at him. It was just such a simple suggestion, something you hear all couples do, but still it made him feel all tingly and warm inside. ''Yes, I would love to!''

''Great! Now let's eat, I'm starving, aren't you?'' Phil said, pecking Dan's cheek before grabbing a few more pieces of fruit, almost leaving the bowl empty, alternating between feeding one to Dan and one to himself.

______________  

They literally spent all Thursday in Phil's bed, snuggling around blankets and each other as they catched up on anime while eating an unhealthy amount of popcorn and chocolate goods. He had enjoyed every minute he spent with him. Every gentle touch they traded, every caress, every kiss... It seemed as if Dan couldn't get enough of Phil and Phil wouldn't complain about it. Oh no. He was pretty much okay having Dan Howell all over him almost for 24 hours.

Even though Phil insisted Dan to stay the night again, (and could also see on Dan's face that he didn't want to go back to his flat) the player decided to return back since he knew Phil worked tomorrow and wanted him to have a good night's rest.

It was Friday now and Phil was already reaching Dan's windows instantly frowing at the lack of Dan inside the spacious flat. 'Where was he?' He had promised yesterday to be here when Phil arrived...

Suddenly an almost naked Dan walked into the living room just out from the shower as Phil could guess from the maroon towel that was covering his lower body and the few drops of water that were making their way down his toned torso, a mop of ultra messy curls on top of his head that Phil really wanted to untangle with his fingers.

Even though Phil knew his face was deep red and could be seen from kilometres away, he was so glad that the glass separating them was soundproof so Dan couldn't hear the gasp he had let out at the sight.

How was Phil even so lucky? That was a question he didn't know how to answer.

Just as the blue eyed was trying to prentend not to have seen Dan in case he felt uncomfortable, Dan noticed him and smiled, walking towards him and picking up the the notebook he had been using to communicate with Phil all those first times.

While Dan was writing, Phil used his time to he admire his boyfriend's physical attributes up close. He noticed small light brown fleckles scatered around on his collarbones as if they were splatters of paint, followed by a weirdly shaped birthmark on his stomach really near to his belly button, making Dan more of a unique person than he already was.

'Sorry, showered longer than expected but come up when you finish? Gonna change now :)' Phil read once he startled out of his trance.

He gulped and quickly nodded, smiling a little before ushering Dan back to his bedroom with a few hand movements, rapidly picking up a bottle and spraying around so he couldn't get lost on that defined back.

Once Dan disappeared, Phil managed to clean all of the windows on record time, giving him enough time to calm himself down so he could knock on Dan's front door with no red cheeks that would  surely been followed by nervous movements and high-pitched greetings.

''Hi,'' a fully dressed Dan said happily as he opened the door even wider, letting Phil in and greeting him with a sweet kiss, lacing his arms around the black haired, who easily responded and kissed Dan back.

''It feels so good to do that,'' Dan said once they separated, quickly closing the door and dragging Phil further in.

''I agree,'' Phil said, leaning in for another kiss that didn't last too long. ''So, what plans did you think we could do today?''

''I have something in mind but first,'' Dan said in a mysterious tone, walking to his bedroom and not letting Phil follow, signing him to sit on the sofa and to leave his coat and backpack at the entrance.  

Phil did as he was told and looked around the living room with a new perspective, spotting a few pictures of younger Dan with his family, friends and teamates, smiling at the happiness he was radiating. He also noticed a few books around, reading the vertically written titles rapidly, some of them familiar, some others not so much.

Just before he could finish reading the shelves of books, Dan appeared again, something familiar on his hands.

''My manuscript.''

''Your manuscript.'' Dan sat down next to him, handing him the stack of papers perfectly settled.

''Did you finish it?'' Phil asked a bit waryly. He wouldn't admit it, but Dan's opinion on his writing was pretty important to him. Of course he remembered the compliments the brown eyed had told him a few days back over Skype, but he had just read a little, not enough to form a solid opinion of t yet.

''Yeah, yesterday. I would have finished it earlier but you know after everything well... but Phil, it's... wow, it's mindblowing. Your book, really, I don't know, it has something that drives you in all the time, each chapter, every new character that appears, every single plot twist. Phil, it's amazing.'' Dan finished with a sigh, smiling softly at Phil.

''Really? You think so?'' Phil questioned, staring at his manuscript and back at Dan repeatedly, as if he didn't believe the words he was saying, ''It's just, maybe it wasn't that good, I mean, I haven't gotten a call back from any publishing houses yet so...''

''Yes, really Phil, believe me. It's good, really good. No, even more than that, it's awesome, okay? And, even if it takes time I know that call will arrive, I don't know when but it will arrive.'' Dan said, reaching for Phil's hands to comfort him a bit.

''Thank you,'' Phil muttered, giving Dan a peck before lying his head on his shoulder, instantly feeling Dan's arm bringing him even closer,  ''So, let's not talk about my writing anymore, what did you plan for us to do today?''

''Well, you know how I moved here not so long ago, and with practices, interviews, trips and more I have a spare room that needs some painting, so would you help me? If you are up to it, of course, we can always do something else if you want to...'' Dan said, shrugging his shoulders a bit.

''Yeah! It sounds like fun! But you will need to lend me some old clothes since I didn't bring any...'' Phil commented, gesturing to the clothes that he had put on under his work uniform, now stuffed in his backpack.

''Yeah of course, c'mon, we can start now and have a lunch break later on,'' Dan said excitedly as he lifted himself from the sofa and grabbed Phil's hand in the process, pulling him up without any warning.

Phil protested a bit from having to move from the sofa and the sudden movements but a quick kiss from Dan shut him up, ''Stop complaining and follow me, the walls are huge and we will need a few hours to finish the whole room.''

Five minutes later Phil found himself dressed with baggy sweatpants and an extra large sweater that smelled like Dan (not that he was complaining. Not at all) in the middle of an empty ugly green coloured room waiting for Dan to come back with the brushes and paint along with some music and speakers that he had insisted on bringing so they could have some background noise while they painted.

''Ready to paint?'' Dan said as he entered the room, handing Phil a big brush and connecting the phone to some speakers as he choose a random playlist that filled the room with pop music instantly.

Phil nooded and grinned, instantly dipping the brush inside the tub of paint and giving a few gentle strokes on the wall, looking at Dan as he did the same, moving and humming along with the music.

They both had been painting for a while when Walking On Sunshine by Katrina & The Waves came through the speakers, making them both start fully singing and dancing in the silliest way possible as if they were in some karaoke.

''Walking on sunshine... I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real! I feel the love, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real!'' They sang looking at each other, staring at the other's crinkled eyes due the big smiles they had on their faces.

Phil didn't know why but he felt warm all sudden. Was it because of the lyrics of the song maybe having a double meaning? No, it couldn't be... But then, he looked at Dan, who probably was mirroring his euphoric mood, literally beaming a Phil and he understood.

He was in love. He was in love with Dan Howell. There was no way out now.

''Phil, you okay?'' he heard Dan ask over the loud notes of an unfamiliar rock song, who was still smiling but had a bit of worry in his expression.

''Yeah, I'm fine. Great!'' Phil answered, smiling back at Dan as he leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss, enjoying the soft look it got on Dan's face.

''Phil! You painted my jumper!'' Dan laughed, trying to erase the paint that was already dry, painting Phil back on revenge.

''It was an accident I swear!'' Phil said staring at the big white spot that was now on Dan's clothes. It had really been an accident when he leaned in and didn't even notice where he had the paint brush, but now he was running, trying his best to escape Dan's brush but not succeeding at all, ''You just painted your own sweater!''

''I don't care, you deserved that!'' Dan replied, trying to make an angry face but not managing to erase the toothy-grin that he was sporting.

''And you, deserve... this!'' Phil reached forward and managed to paint Dan's left cheek, leaving a wide white stroke adorning his face.

Dan gasped at the cold paint on his face, ''Phil! Oh, you are on!''

They started chasing eachother around the empty room, somehow managing to paint one another as they laughed and sang along to old radio music, squealing every time they felt the brush touch their skin or body.

''I think... we should... stop for... a bit'' Phil suggested between breaths. He wasn't a professional athlete like Dan, so after a few minutes running he was more than ready to collapse on the floor.

''You already tired, Lester?'' Dan teased as he turned off the radio and walked up to Phil, caressing his cheek, giving it a soft peck before asking if he wanted a glass of water, an offer Phil gladly took.

As Dan left the room, Phil heard some familiar music but he couldn't place where it was coming from... The radio was turned off so, maybe some neighbour was blasting a song in the shower?

''Phil, I think your phone is ringing!'' he heard Dan shout from the kitchen.

Oh, yeah! It was his rigntone, now it all made sense! Someone was calling him and he didn't get phonecalls that often so it must be important...

Phil ran off the room and picked up the phone from the front pocket of his backpack, not even bothering to look at the number that was calling him.

''Yes?'' Phil answered a bit out of breath, silently thanking Dan as he brought him a big glass of water that he drank in a few seconds, handing it back to Dan who returned to the kitchen to leave Phil speak privately.

''Hi, is this Phil Lester?'' A polite and sweet voice from the other side of the phone asked.

''Yeah, it's me, who is calling?'' Phil asked a bit unsure as he didn't recognize the voice at all...

''Hi, Mr. Lester my name is Nicky and I'm calling you from Bloomsbury Publishing.''

Bloomsbury Publishing. Wait. It was one of the most important publishing houses in the UK.

When Phil heard Nicky's introduction he tried not to get his hopes up. He had been rejected a few times already by them so he wasn't expecting the next sentences.

''I'm calling you beacuse we are interested in publishing your novel 'Strangers of Space'. We have been looking into more Sci-fi works lately and yours seems to be one of our favourites. Will you be willing to meet next Monday at noon for a proper meeting?''

Phil gasped at this. What was even happening!? He couldn't belive this, he was going to cry. This was what he had been waiting for all his life and now it was close to becoming true.

''Yes sure! Thank you! I just... thank you!'' Phil managed to let out, still not believing this was happening.

''Great! If you have any questions just call into this same phone number and I will try to answer them all.'' Nicky offered.

''Okay, and thank you!'' Phil repeated, not knowing what more he should say.

Nicky said her goodbyes and hung up the phone, leaving Phil alone with his thoughts.

''This is real, Phil. You are probably getting published by one of the most important publishing houses in the UK.'' he said to himself, still surprised and a bit in shock.

Suddenly Dan's worried voice startled him, ''Phil, you okay? Is something wrong? You seem paler than usual... Was that phonecall a bad one?''

Phil felt Dan's hand touch his face, as if trying to get Phil out of the daze he was in.

''Yes... I mean, no! I mean, I'm okay and no, it wasn't a bad phonecall, it was probably the best phonecall I have ever gotten Dan!'' he excitedly said, showing his boyfriend a big smile before breaking the news, ''it was from Bloomsbury Publishing, they said they really like 'Strangers of Space' and they are interested in publishing it! Dan, they want to publish my novel!'' Phil squealed, giving a few little jumps before he felt a pair of strong and big arms enveloping him in a big hug.

''Phil, that's awesome! I'm so happy for you! I'm so proud of you!'' Dan said to him, separating their bodies a bit so they could look at each other in the eyes, a wide and pround smile on his face, ''I cannot believe my boyfriend is going to be a best selling author...'' Dan teased but is his tone Phil could really hear his sincerity. Did Dan really believe he could be a best selling author? Wow.

''Dan, shh! I don't know if I will ever get to be one, but just having this opportunity is... is amazing. But either way, thank you for believing in me.''

''Phil... I will always believe in you.'' Dan said, bringing Phil into a deep kiss that showed him better than anything else how much Dan supported him.

''So, what about some celebratory popcorn, huh?'' Dan asked once they separated for air, lacing their fingers together to pull Phil towards the couch.

Phil nodded repeatedly, as he sat down on the sofa and stared up at Dan, who was still looking at him with the softest smile on his face, ''Celebratory popcorn sounds perfect right now...''

''Three minutes and I'll be back, okay? Just, put a movie on if you want...'' Dan leaned down and pecked Phil on the lips, leaving Phil wanting nothing more than gentle kisses from the curly haired.

''Okay...'' Phil whispered against Dan's lips, turning around just in time to watch his boyfriend prepare the microwaved popcorn as he hummed to an unknown song.

'Yeah, I'm in love with Dan Howell.'

The game was almost over, and after more than a few drinks and at least 4 tequila shots Phil knew he was drunk. Totally drunk.

‘’I… I need the bathroom…’’ Phil slurred, standing up the best he could while leaning on Bryan the whole time, who helped him get up properly.

‘’You need me to come with you?’’ Bryan offered, standing up with Phil, who nodded and grabbed his hand, walking clumsily upstairs where Bryan kindly opened the door for Phil. ‘’I will wait here for you, okay?’’

Phil nodded and offered him a smile, trying to balance properly as he closed the door and quickly made his necessities, a bit surprised at the fact that he didn’t feel close to puking as it had happened a few other times.

As he exited the toilet he spotted Bryan against the empty hallway wall. Deciding he felt drunk enough to do something he had been wanting to all night, Phil  walked up to him and touched his biceps, making their bodies touch; not that Bryan seemed to mind much as he seemed to also want Phil closer by putting his hands on his slim waist.

‘’I thought you weren’t one who made the first move, Lester.’’ Bryan teased, tracing a few patterns along Phil’s shirt, who shrugged and decided to flush their chests together, lifting his arms to lace his arms around Bryan’s tanned neck.

‘’Well, I feel… I feel like there is a first time for everything, right?’’ Phil said, not letting Bryan say anything else as he closed the gap between their lips, an innocent kiss quickly becoming a heated one.

Suddenly, Bryan turned the around and put Phil against the wall, earning a moan from the blue eyed, who felt Bryan skim his hands lower and lower towards Phil’s butt, who instantly felt uncomfortable and broke the kiss, trying to give Bryan a hint that he didn’t want to be touched there, just make out with him, nothing more.

‘’Babe, that my butt! No touching there!’’ Phil said, lifting Bryan’s big hands away from his butt and putting them again at his hips, instantly starting to kiss the rugby player again in hopes he had understood the message.

The kiss turned out pretty heated once again, Phil felt as Bryan kissed his neck, probably leaving a questionable hickey that he wouldn’t mind to have to be honest. As he kept trying not to moan at Bryan’s neck kisses, Phil suddenly noticed the player’s hands once again at his butt, this time not only touching but also groping it, making Phil want to escape from this.

He felt uncomfortable, he didn’t want this. He wanted to stop.

‘’Bryan… stop,’’ Phil said as calmly as he could, trying once again to quit Bryan’s hands off of his butt or his mouth off of his neck, but he was stronger than Phil and he knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

‘’C’mon Lester, you know you want this, don’t tell me you don’t when in every party you end up like this with every other guy!’’ Bryan commented, grabbing his butt even harder and groping it as if he owned it.

‘’Bryan, stop please!’’ Phil tried again, this time a bit louder than before, squirming his body a bit but not managing to move that much against the hallway wall, ‘’Bryan, please stop right now! I… I don’t wanna…’’ he said, feeling trapped and scared at the same time, his drunk state not making this any easier.

‘’He said to stop, Keller!’’ suddenly a voice from the further side of the hallway said, making Bryan stop his actions, but not freeing Phil from his groping.

‘’Fuck off Howell! This is none of your business!’’ Bryan said a bit angrily as Dan Howell, part from the rowing team, walked up to them.

Phil knew him, they were in some of the classes together and had spoken a few times but never got to know each other but now, Phil was glad he had appeared out of nowhere to probably rescue him out of this situation.

‘’Yeah, it is when he is telling you that you should stop and you don’t! That’s sexual assault, you know that, right?’’ Dan said in a fuming tone and seeing as Bryan wanted to retort something between the lines of ‘no, it isn’t’, Dan stopped him by walking somehow closer and confronting him.

‘’You will get your hands off of Phil right now and will him leave alone, understood?’’ Dan said slowly as punctuating every single word to which Bryan only growled but freed Phil and stomped away, not even daring to look back.

‘’Are you okay? Did he hurt you? You need anything?’’ Dan asked Phil in the sweetest and calmest tone Phil had ever heard.

As much as he wanted to speak, Phil found himself out of words and shaking a bit, trying not to cry, his drunk state not helping at all with all these emotions.

‘’Phil, you okay? can I do something for you?’’ he heard Dan ask again in the same tone, trying to look at him in the eyes, but Phil felt crowded, trapped, caged and wanted nothing else than to be out of this situation.

‘’N- no, lea- leave me alone, I… I need… I need to find Mads,’’ and finding strength out of nowhere he pushed Dan against the other wall of the hallway, trying to run away as quickly as he could to find Mads, who he spotted quickly with her red hair standing out in the crowd.

‘’Mads, we need to go,’’ Phil nervously said to her, interrupting the conversation she was apparently having with these unfamiliar people.

‘’You okay, Phil?’’ Mads worriedly asked, rapidly turning to him looking at the distressed look his best friend had on his face.

Phil shook his head, ‘no’, trying to clear a tear that had managed to make it’s way down his cheek, ‘’Can- Can I tell you on our way to the dorm?’’

‘’Sure, let’s go.’’ Mads laced her arm around Phil giving him a side hug as they left the noisy party, walking into the dark night that had left the campus full of dark colours.

___________

It had been a few days since the party had happened and now classes were starting again.

Phil had told Mads everything that had happened that night. Feeling a bit better once he had finished the story, he cried on her shoulder for a while as he felt the sweet arm caresses Mads kept making in hopes of trying to calm him, falling instantly asleep on their dorm floor surrounded by blankets where they spent the next weekend.

It was early Monday morning when Phil woke up with a mission in mind so, dressed up in his warmest clothes, a big lilac jumper combined with black skinny jeans and some white Converse, he left his shared dorm room a soft click of the door, taking in the pretty and warm colours of the morning sunrise.

After a fifteen minute walk he finally reached his destination, the riverbank of their campus where he knew the rowing team practised every morning four days a week.

‘’Well done for today! See you tomorrow, okay? Now, a shower and off to class!’’ Phil heard the coach dismiss the team, a few of the boys chatting energetically as they walked to the changing rooms as others stayed to pick up a few of the oars they had been using, one of them being the one Phil needed to talk to, Dan Howell.

‘’Oh, hey Lester, what brings you around here?’’ another team member said when he spotted him, making Dan turn around quickly, pulling a surprised but worried expression on his face as if he wondering why Phil was here.  

Phil waved at the boys before turning his gaze to those curious brown eyes, ‘’Dan, can I talk to you?’’ Phil said shyly, grabbing at his jumper paws nervously.

‘’Sure, you wanna take a walk?’’ he suggested.

Phil nodded and started walking with Dan after waving ‘goodbye’ at the other boys who continued to gather up everything that was still left.

‘’So… what did you want to talk about?’’ Dan said as soon as they were alone, looking sideways at Phil who was still playing with his jumper paws.

Phil sighed before speaking, a deep sigh that let Dan see how nervous he was about what the blue eyed wanted to talk about.

‘’It’s about what happened at the party. I… I feel bad because you saved me from Bry-Bryan and I didn’t even got to thank you. I was so drunk and before I knew it I was being pinned to the wall and then you appeared and managed to free me, well, save me, but then you asked if I was okay and if I needed something with such a kind and caring voice but my drunkness didn’t let me think straight…’’ Phil managed to say almost in a breath, just stopping a few times.

He took a deep sigh before starting to speak again, as he needed a moment, ‘’I felt… I felt bad, I felt trapped and I shoved you against the wall so I’m sorry Dan. I didn’t mean to push you with such force but I don’t know what came over me and I did it so, once again I’m… I’m sorry, Dan.’’

‘’Phil…’’ Dan wanted to speak, but the black haired continued.

‘’Anyways, thank you and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you as I did after what you did for me…’’ he finished, hugging himself as if he needed some kind of protection. After remembering all that had happened he felt vulnerable and wanted nothing more than to hide once again in those thick blankets he had in his dorm.

‘’Phil…’’ Dan said once again, stopping in his tracks as Phil did the same, turning his body a bit to face each other, ‘’There is no need to apologize for pushing me. I understand why you did it and after how Bryan treated you I know that the least you wanted was someone hovering over you.’’

‘’Okay but… but please, I wanna thank you properly…’’ Phil suddenly said, really wanting to make something for Dan after how he had helped him.

‘’Hey, Phil, it’s okay, really, there is no need to thank me,’’ Dan offered him a smile, a beautiful smile if Phil said so.

‘’Dan please, let me take you out for coffee or something, of course only if you want to, I don’t wanna overstep,’’ Phil said nervously, playing with his sweater paws again, a reddish tone tinting his cheeks.

‘’Okay, only with a condition,’’ Dan said, a warm smile never leaving his face.

‘’Huh? Yeah, sure, whatever?’’ Phil questioned curiously, not really knowing what to expect from Dan.

‘’It’s a date,’’ Dan said suddenly, still smiling before realizing that maybe it was a pretty forward request after what had happened to Phil a few days before, ‘’Only if you want to of course, you can always say no, I mean, I would like it if it was a date but I don’t know if you would be comfortab…’’

‘’Dan,’’ Phil cut him off, a happy look on his face, letting Dan know that what he was asking was okay, ‘’I would love to go on a date with you. Are you free today? What about we meet at Petit Latte at 5pm?’’

Dan eagerly nodded, ‘’Sure. Today. Petit Latte at 5pm.’’

Phil chuckled a bit at Dan’s excited expression when suddenly he left an alarm coming from his watch, meaning it was time for class to start, ‘’I should probably go to class now… See you later then?’’

‘’See you later.’’ Dan repeated, his smile getting bigger and letting Phil see a dimple taht hadn’t been there before.

Deciding that the dimple was too cute to let it disappear early, Phil leaned in and pecked it, instantly feeling the warmth that was beginning to spread around Dan’s face.

‘’Don’t be late,’’ he whispered, smiling and waving back at Dan as he made his way back to the campus.

‘Petit Latte at 5pm. Don’t you dare to forget it, brain.’

''This,'' Martyn took out his phone and showed Phil a news article with a shocking headline in big bold black letters: 'Hot! Sport stars Dan Howell and Claire Vickard, two surprise lovers show their passion while on a secret escapade!'

Phil stared, not being able to read much more of that article. ''Wha...'' he whispered, scrolling a bit further down the page only to see a few pictures of Dan and Claire.

They were paparazzi like photos, taken from a hidden spot where you could only see the both athletes swimming around a lake, talking, laughing and... kissing. Passionately kissing.

Phil didn't know what to feel. But him and Dan... This couldn't be.

He knew he shouldn't believe what the media said. They were often liars and sometimes they manipulated pictures or events just to create interest even though those facts weren't true.

But this time it wasn't that easy. These pictures were pretty much real, they didn't look edited at all, and well, when Dan left to Ireland they didn't establish a proper 'relationship status', they hadn't even talked about the possibility of making whatever they had into something more serious, so maybe Dan had found something better. Meaning that 'better' was clearly a professional tennis player who went by the name of Claire Vickard.

A part of his brain was telling him that Dan wouldn't do that, that Dan wasn't like that, but at the same time it was difficult when you belonged to completely opposite worlds.

Phil could never compete with that. He was just a window cleaner at the moment, trying to make it as an author, a really competitive field that he was now doubting he would ever get into.

Looking back, Phil recalled that Dan had only been with famous people before, it was logical he would want to continue being with someone who shared that 'famous status'.Yeah, it was a matter of time that Dan found something much better. Much more suitable for his lifestyle.

''Phil, I thought you two were together,'' he heard Martyn say, grabbing his attention from the article, ''He is cheating on you!''

''Well... we... we didn't establish anything. We weren't boyfriends, were just going on dates so yeah... it really wasn't serious...''

'At least not for him' Phil added in his brain, starting to really feel upset now that the initial shock had gone away.

''I'm going to find him and... and...'' Martyn exclaimed in a furious tone, not even knowing how to finish that sentence.

''No, you are not going to do anything, okay?'' Phil said, seriousness clear in his voice, ''You are not doing anything because there is nothing to fix. Dan and I were nothing, it was just a fling, nothing else.''

Saying those words our lout hurt Phil's feelings more than he had expected. It had been more than 'just a fling' for him, he was seriously starting to develop stronger feelings for Dan. Feelings that he couldn't voice this soon but they were there. They were real.

Phil just wanted to lie on his bed and cry now. He didn't know if he was more surprised, upset or angry. At Dan or with himself. For not realizing sooner that this wouldn't get anywhere; that this was only a thing that happened in movies.

''Martyn, you should go, you need to work.'' Phil said, not wantitng to break down in front of his brother.

''But Phil, I can stay, you need someone right now,'' Martyn said, giving Phil a hug which the younger accepted, trying to keep his tears from falling down.

Once Phil separated from the comforting hug, he handed Martyn his phone back, ''Go, I need to be alone for a bit.''

''Phil.. I...''

''Please, just go,'' Phil said defeatedly, staring at his brother with a black expression on his face.

It seemed as if Martyn wanted to say something more, but closed his mouth and sighed before speaking again, ''I will be back later, okay? Call me if you need anything.''

And with that Martyn hugged Phil one more time before leaving the flat, closing the front door with a soft click, a faint noise that made Phil start crying silently in the middle of his living room.

______________

''C'mon, pick up,'' Dan said to the phone as he called Phil for the 5th time.

This morning, when Peter had called him and Claire for a talk before shooting once again he knew something had been wrong.

As the director had explained, some paparazzi had taken photos of Claire and him at the lake, and now the pictures were everywhere, a few articles already written about the ''secret romance'' they both had been hiding.

But there was no romance! He wasn't going out with Claire! They all knew that but there was a problem... if Phil saw those articles along with the pictures he was sure the blue eyed would think otherwise.

Dan kind of hoped Phil didn't believe the gossip media, but you could never be sure. That's why he had been trying to locate Phil, via call or messages, trying to explain everything, that it was just a modeling job and nothing more; but from the lack of resopnse he was receiving he was sure Phil had already seen everything, leaving Dan feeling like a horrible person.

It wasn't even his fault, it was the annoying paparazzi's! But still, he felt terrible.

Peter had said they should continue with the shooting, since they only had today and tomorrow morning left and they hadn't finished all the photos yet, meaning this could turn into a bigger thing if more photographers got to take a few more snaps, but Peter had assured them both they would take some measures so the campaign wouldn't be affected either.

''Phil, please, pick up...'' Dan said again, feeling disappointed when he heard the first words of the voicemail that he ahd already listened too many times that morning reached his ears.

Dan knew he would need to be professional and be getting ready for today's shoot, he always was with these things, he didn't let anything affect him, but all of this? Thinking that Phil would be crying and surely angry at Dan and probably not wanting to hear from him ever again? Yeah, he couldn't cope with that.

What coud have been his first real relationship with an amazing man, now, thanks to the paparazzi, it was ruined.

He also felt a bit guilty. Dan could have asked him to be his boyfriend before leaving to Ireland, but he didn't know if that could have been better or worse...

Suddenly his phone started ringing, answering the call without even looking at the contact that was calling him, hoping it was who he had been wanting to hear all day, ''Phil?''

''Dan... I'm Estelle,'' his agent's voice said on the other line, a bit guilty.

''Oh, hey. Sorry, I thought you... I've been wanting to talk to Phil all morning so yeah...''

''I'm guessing he saw the pictures and that's why?'' Estelle said, a question to which Dan only hummed disappointedly.

''I think so Estelle. God, I ruined everything,'' Dan wanted to cry, to eb honest. He wanted to go back to London now and explain everything. That if Phil ever agreed to let him, of course.

''Dan, listen. I'm trying everything that is in my hands to take them down, all articles, all pictures, but it's difficult. I've managed to convince a few to take some down, but the big gossip magazines are hard to persuade,'' Estelle mentioned, leaving Dan as surprised as ever, ''I know

''Thank you Estelle. Thank you. I...'' he didn't know what to even say to her. She was an angel.

''I don't know if my efforts will do anything but I know this is not what you wished when you agreed to do the campaign. I could see how happy it made you to be talking about Phil and I don't want the stupid paparazzis to ruin the possibility of that.''

Dan was speechless. Maybe Estelle's actions would fix it, maybe not, but he could only hope for the best.

''Estelle, thank you. I don't know what else to say. Just, thank you.'' Dan managed to let out, a bit touched that she was rooting for him and Phil. That she supported Dan's happiness above all. Above his career. Above his fame.

''Dan, there is no need. When you come back tomorrow afternoon just go and try to explain everything to Phil, I'm sure he will give you a chance. That way you can try and clear everything out better.''

''I'm going to need a miracle for that to happen, but I will try. He at least needs to know the truth, Phil deserves that much.''

Dan continued speaking a bit more to Estelle, trying to calm himself a bit about this mess of situation. He hadn't even thought about the possibility of this happening and thank to it he probably lost one of the most significant people of his life.

Way to go, Dan. Way to go...

______________

Phil sighed twice when he woke up on Wednesday. Once, because it was heavily raining and the second because he still had those damned pictures engraved in his mind.

During all Tuesday morning he had let his his phone ring again and again knowing it was Dan. There had been probably fifth calls in a span of an hour before they stopped and it took all of his willpower not to pick it up and answer, because he knew that if he had spoken to the baseball player he would have ended up crying on the line and he couldn't live with that embarrassement. Not after all of this.

He did also see a few messages pop up on the screen, but he didn't open them, trying to give himself a bit of 'alone time' while he thought this through.

By lunchtime he felt miserable and contacted his brother, who left work and came to his flat, making him watch silly animated movies the rest of the day in hopes of cheering him up, but it did close to nothing, only letting Phil's mind wonder how he had ended up in this.

But now, Tuesday was over, his brother was working all day and work didn't help when he had to see Dan's empty and lonely apartment once again, reminding him of the brown eyed even more. Those freaking cute polaroids still stuck on the windows, almost making Phil cry.  

Even though it was still heavily raining and his yellow raincoat wasn't doing much more of protecting him from the rain Phil decided to wander around his city, trying to think more clearly what was happening.

Phil's little voice was still nagging him that there must be some explanation for this, for why Dan was kissing Claire Vickard on a lake in Ireland. There must be something that Phil couldn't place yet... Should he let Dan explain? Would Dan be honest with him? That would have to be seen...

His stroll was so long that it was almost night when he decided to come back to his flat, totally not expecting a drenched curly haired and shaky Dan waiting by his door with a somehow dry envelope clutched to his chest.

''Dan?''

______________

''Dan?'' he heard Phil ask him. It wasn't an angry ask, just, surprised, as if he had not been expecting Dan to be heare.

Believe him, if he had been Phil he would have reacted the same way.

''Dan? What... are you doing here?'' he heard Phil ask once again in the same tone as he hadn't even responded that first time.

''Oh, First... I'm sorry I... I don't know... Phil I...'' Dan managed to say as he felt really nervous and it didn't help that he was also shaking from the cold.

He had run to Phil's flat as soon as his plane landed only wearing a thin t-shirt and skinny jeans, leaving his suitcase quickly on his bulding, only picking up his keys, wallet and phone and another thing he had brought for Phil just before turning up here, not even remembering to grab an umbrella or even a raincoat as the blue eyed was wearing.

That damned yellow raincoat that made Phil look adorable as he recalled one of those first days when they had started talking.

Dan saw Phil walking closer to him, making him even more nervous. God, Phil was going to sent him away, wasn't him? Dan felt horrible. He was trembling and could probably cry. Why was this such a shitty situation?

''Hey, come inside, you must be freezing,'' Phil said as he sensed his worry, opening the main door. Dan looked surprised for a second that Phil was being so gentle with him, even if he had a serious expression on his face, his tone said otherwise, so he quickly entered instantly feeling a bit warmer, taking in the white hallways he had seen before as he followed the blue eyed inside, who took out his yellow coat and hung it, signing Dan to take out his shoes and surely wet socks to leave them there to dry before walking further into the flat.

He felt the carpet under the soles of his feet, letting Phil guide them both to an almost dark bedroom. Phil's bedroom to be exact. Dan couldn't see much, but he spotted  a few plushies and a ton of books on different shelves, surely making the room a bit more colorful than it already was. It was such a Phil thing to be honest.

''Here, you can change in the bathroom there. Leave the clothes by the tub, they will get dry while we talk,'' Phil startled him out of his thoughts, handing him a dark t-shirt and some grey tracksuit bottoms and pointing at the door where the ensuite bathroom was.

Dan quietly thanked him and walked inside, closing the door as he could with the clothes along with the envelope still clutched to his chest, managing to change quickly before reappearing again to find a pyjama claded Phil with his glasses sat by the headboard, switching on one of the lamps on the bedside tables.

Dan walked and sat down by the end of the bed, the envelope now resting on his lap as he smoothed the few wrinkles that had been creade by his strong grip.

He lifted his gaze for a moment, and looked at Phil, who had a neutral expression on his face, quickly making Dan tear his gaze away from him, not daring to look at Phil more. He felt as if he didn't deserve it.

''So... you came back.'' Phil mentioned, his tone still not angry, just... normal. Why wasn't Phil angry at Dan? He didn't understand. Phil should be angry, furious even, but no, he was.. patient; as if he was waiting for an explanation.

''Yeah. I... I managed to catch the first flight but due to the storm it was harder to land... I can explain everything if you let me?'' Dan said, not wanting to make this longer.

Phil hummed and Dan guessed he also nodded, but didn't see as he was still looking down, ''Look, I shouldn't be telling you this because it was secret but to hell with all contracts. I don't care about them anymore. My agent, Estelle, managed to get me another clothing campaign with this sport clothing brand I've worked before, but this time I had to get shoots done with Claire Vickard.''

Dan sighed, trying his best to explain, ''We travelled to Ireland where we met Peter, the director of the campaign. He told us to expect some 'sensual photos' that ended up being a 'lustful swimming sunset scene' as he explained... I felt terrible Phil. I thought like, okay, I can act but still, even if it was acting I should have said no. I should have refused to do them even if that meant breaking the contract and ruining my career. I knew it. While we were shooting them I couldn't get you out of my head. I wished it had been you. I wished so much it would have been you.''

He took a deep breath before continuing his explanation, ''We left this in such ambiguous terms I was scared of what would happen if you saw the campaign, but in my head, I was sure I could take a step forward before the cat was out of the bag. What I didn't see comming was the shitty paparazzi pictures twisting everything and making everyone believe that I'm going out with Claire Vickard. She and I are just friends and I need you to believe that, Phil. I need you to believe me.''

Dan was almost crying at this point. If Phil didn't believe anything now this was surely over. He turned a bit to look at Phil, who was still looking at him, but a bit of emotion on his face that Dan couldn't place.

''Phil... being away from you it was harder than I expected it to be. It made me realize I couldn't let you slip though my fingers, not when you are already so close. Not when you are the only person who has managed to open my heart this way and made me feel things taht I haven't felt before. Making me feel less lonely. I just... I just wanna be with you.'' Dan looked away, cleaning a few tears that had started to fall down his face. He was opening up to Phil in a way he had never done before and yes, he was emotional. He could be emotional, even if it was a side that no one knew about him.

''Dan...'' he heard Phil say but Dan didn't lift his gaze, he didn't want Phil to see him crying.

''I'm sorry Phil. I should have... I should have made something about this, us, earlier. I should have asked you to be my boyfriend and I was ready to do so on our videogame date but I was scared... I have, I have never been in a relationship before. I have never told anyone this before.'' Dan admitted, finally letting oen of his biggest secrets out loud.

''But, you have gone out with plenty of famous people, right?'' Phil questioned curiously and Dan understood where he was coming from.

''There were all fake relationships. They were never real. They were only to make the others have a bit of fame since a was a promising star of baseball so yeah, there you have it. Dan Howell, famous baseball player, has never had a partner before,'' Dan cry-laughed at this, a few tears still making his way down his cheeks. If he hadn't before, he now had lost all his chances of going out with Phil. He was pathetic, oh God. ''So, if you still wanna see me and somehow bare with me, even only as friends I will take it, because you... you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me Phil.''

Dan couldn't hold his tears anymore and cried into his hands as he had wanted to do many times before, letting every emotion he had bottled up all this time into this night.

''Dan,'' he felt the duvet move as Phil crawled towards him, sitting down beside him and grabbing his hands away from his face, threading their fingers together, making Dan gasp a bit at the contact. What...? Why was Phil so friendly? He should be laughing at him, or angry, or something! He was not supposed to be this kind... Not after Dan had made him feel this bad.

''Dan, I believe you.'' Phil said, taking also a deep breath, ''At first, when I saw those pictures I was confused, I kept reminding myself I wouldn't believe it, that this was just the press making his thing, but then another part of me said that we weren't even going out properly, we hadn't even established anything before you went away, so it was possible that you would have found someone like Claire, someone who shares your lifestyle, it made sense.''

''But Phil, I...'' Dan tried to explain, that it didn't matter if Phil wasn't famous. He didn't care. He was Phil and it was enough.

''But now that you explained I understand and I believe you. I knew there was something behind all of it and now that you have explained the campaign and everything I believe you Dan. I believe you.'' Phil said, squeezing their hands together tightly, giving him a small smile. ''And... I don't care that you haven't been in another relationship before, I don't care, really. Your secret is safe with me, okay?''

Dan sighed and copied his smile, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders but he knew this talk wasn't over yet.

''Can I ask you a question though?'' Phil said to which Dan nodded, his smile fading a bit. He didn't know what to even expect but he was ready for anything, even the possibility of Phil sending him away even if he believed him.

''What's inside that envelope?'' Dan wanted to laugh at Phil's question. Of course he would ask that! Phil had such a curious personality it was unbelieveable!

''I brought this for you,'' Dan handed Phil the envelope, who grabbed it but didn't open it yet, as if waiting for an explanation, ''when I said I was ready to ask you to be my boyfriend I was going to do it this way but I guess I wasn't as brave a I though so I kind of chickened out last minute... I'm, god, I sound pathetic, but yeah, it was a big step for me but I'm ready now so... open it.''

Dan observed as Phil opened the envelope carfuly, trying no to rip it in half, pulling out a surprised face as he lifted what was inside up to his eyes to observe it better.

''Wha...? Dan how, what?'' Phil babbled, not tearing his eyes away from the item. It was a ticket for a Rocky Planets' game.

''So, Phil Lester, would you like to go to and see the Rocky Planets' first game of this baseball season... as my boyfriend?'' Dan managed to ask before he heard Phil's loud 'Yes!' echo through the bedroom, somehow illuminating the dim lit bedroom a bit more with his smile.

Dan mirrored Phil's smile, teeth showing in a grin that soon was wiped away by a pair of soft lips pressing against his, making him react fast and grabbing Phil's cheeks, bringing him on a deeper kiss, enjoying the sweet flavour that he had mised so much during this week and that he had been close to lose.

''I cannot believe Dan Howell is now my.. boyfriend.'' Phil whispered once their kiss was over, leaning in again to peck his lips again a few times more.

''I cannot believe Phil Lester is my... first boyfriend.'' Dan said in the same tone, finally realizing that he was finally in a real realtionship. That he had someone that cared for him as more than a friend, someone who could share a life with... someone who would take his loneliness finally away.

''So, are you interested? It is secret till the campaign is revealed so you cannot tell anyone, okay? If someone know they could ruin you, you know that, right?'' Estelle asked, looking at Dan with her big eyes as he nodded in understanding. You wouldn't like to mess up with the contracts, oh no.

''I think it looks great, it's a good deal and you have already worked with them, you can think about it a bit more but I advise you that we don't have much time,'' she said.

''No, I think I'm ready to sign the contract,'' Dan said, trying not think much about what it would suppose not to see Phil in those days, ''as you said, I already know them, so it shouldn't be really different.''

Estelle handed him a black pen and Dan started scribbling his signature in the bottom of almost every page, giving the stack of papers back to his agent once he was done.

''Perfect! I'll send the papers later and I will call to ask about the travelli...'' but Estelle's sentence was cut off by Dan's phone loud and repetitive chiming, indicating someone had sent him a few messages.

''Wait,'' Dan said, taking out his phone and instantly smiling as he read Phil's name on the screen. Without reading the messages, he quickly turned the phone on silent and pocketed it back in his trousers, ''sorry for that Estelle, continue please.''

Estelle's face expression changed form serious to soft, making Dan frown, ''What?''

''Who has you smiling like that?'' she said, as if he had noticed Dan's wide smile.

''Wha- what smile? What are you on about?'' Dan tried to dismiss it, but knowing she wouldn't buy it. It was Estelle, for God's sake.

''That smile!'' she pointed at his mouth, ''Your dimples don't show for anyone! So tell me, who has the powers to make you grin at your phone, uh?''

Dan groaned. There was no way he was getting out of this, right? ''Okay, his name is Phil. He is the window cleaner of my new building and we started talking by writing messages to each other on papers, you happy now?''

''Tell me more, c'mon Dan! How is he like? Have you meet each other without a big ass window in between? Tell me!'' Estelle almost whined, dragging the last 'e' of 'me' for emphasis.

''Fine, I will.''

So Dan spent all Saturday morning at Estelle's office talking about him and Phil. How nervous he was of meeting him that first time, how the blue eyed asked him on a date first, their last trip to the bookstore, even showing Estelle the few pictures he had taken so she could see with her own eyes how 'attractive and adorable' Phil was, his smile getting somehow bigger at each detail he could remember about Phil.

''You really like him, don't you?'' Estelle asked once Dan had managed to tell everything.

''I really do, Estelle. I really do.''

______________

Phil was waiting for Dan to come to his flat so he was franatically tidying his living room.

He had been writing, well, trying to, since he hadn't gotten any responses from the publishing houses yet so he wanted to keep writing something else in case his last story didn't work, but his brain wasn't cooperating. Phil could swear he had spent around two hours staring at the blinking cursor on the document, as if it was moking him for not writing. Why was so hard to write something!?

In all his groaning he texted Dan, asking him if they could do something today. Apparently Dan had been on a meeting with his agent all morning, asking if it was okay to show up now, to which Phil answered it was okay, whatever to distracting form his responsibility of writing.

Phil had been wanting to go outside, but since it was pouring down, he invited Dan over to play videogames in some of the consoles Martyn had lend him a few years ago, not realizing his flat was kind of a mess.

He had just managed to arrange a few cushions on the sofa when he heard the doorbell, meaning Dan was here.

''Hi'' Phil greeted him as soon as he opened the door, breath hitching at the sight of Dan just standing there with his messy and somehow dry curls atop of his head, a maroon jumper with the sleeves rolled up his toned arms that he had combined with black ripped skinny jeans, letting Phil see a bit of his thighs.

Those ripped jeans were making Phil have some thoughts he prefered not to share.

Dan greeted him back and steped inside Phil's flat, surprisedly pecking Phil's cheek, which instantly turned pink as if he had some magical powers to make the blue eyed blush each time he touched him.

''Thanks for letting me come over this last minute, it was so sudden so I hope I'm a good distraction for writing.'' Dan said, chuckling and showing Phil a small smile.

''Nah, it's okay, I needed to detach myself from my laptop, otherwise I will end up with the keys glued to my fingerprints'' Phil said, making both of them laugh at his remark.

''So, which game you wanna play? I have a few...''' Phil started listing the videogames he had as he led Dan to his living room, where he had already put the consoles out and a few snacks on the table.

''What about I race you in Mario Kart? I'm gonna destroy you! Best of three?'' Dan said mischeviously, sending a smirk at Phil.

Oh, so it was a competition then, uh? If Dan wanted to play, let's play. ''And what do I get when I win?'' Phil said, copying Dan's smirk.

''So confident, Lester. I will think about what I want when I win.'' Dan said, sitting down and picking one of the controllers.

Phil hummed in agreement and also sat down next to Dan, their thighs grazing as Phil picked up the controller that was left and starting the game, ''Bring it, Howell. You are going down!''

Phil suddenly felt Dan's gaze on him, making him a bit nervous, ''What?'' Phil said, turning his body a bit to face the brown eyed, who was biting his lower lip as his eyes travelled up and down Phil's body.

''Believe me Phil, I would love to go down... in more ways that you can imagine,'' Dan said in a low voice. Phil flushed deep red but didn't say anything. He wanted nothing more than forget the videogame and jump Dan just right in his sofa but no, he was determined to win this and the 'lame' flirting from Dan wasn't going to get him to lose. Oh no. No way.

Phil pressed play and both customized their characters, bickering about 'how boring and bad' car choices the other made, playing rock-paper-scissors to decide which one got to choose the traks they would be racing.

They kept bumping each other's shoulders and elbows from time to time, losing their balance for a second, enough to send the other's cars few places behind, hearing a few swear words from Dan and Phil letting out a few child-like screams everytime that happened.

It was the last race and they were even. As Phil had won the first race and Dan the second, this last one would decide who was the ultimate Mario Kart winner. Oh, and Phil was so sure it was going to be him.

''You ready to get destroyed?'' Phil said, selecting the last track they would be racing.

''Ha! You wish! C'mon, press play, I cannot wait to win this already.'' Dan remarked, rearranging his position on the sofa pressing his body even more closer to Phil's.

He pressed play but the strong and nice smell from Dan's cologne was making his head heavy, wanting nothing more than to press his face against his neck and not move for hours...

''Oh, Phil, look at you, so far behind already, you aren't gonna catch me if you keep racing like this!'' Dan laughed, making Phil come back to reality only to realize that he hadn't been plying attention and was in last place!

'Phil, concentrate, please.' he said to himself in hopes that he could beat Dan, who was in first place already and there was only a lap left.

Trying his hardest, Phil raced as good as he could, managing to be on third place just seconds before Dan's car crossed the balck and white checkered line.

''Yes! I won!'' Dan exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa to make a silly victory dance that made Phil chuckle, not even bothering to stay mad at the fact that he had lost, appreciating the adorable Dan in front of him just dancing and carefree.

Phil let him dance a bit more before he decided to take revenge, also standing up to be at Dan's eye level, ''It's not fair! All or nothing!''

Dan stopped dancing and crossed his arms, frowning at Phil, ''How is it not fair? I won two out of three, that's what we decided, I'm not risking an 'all or nothing', oh no!''

''You distracted me!'' Phil said, not knowing what more to say.

''How did I even manage to distract you? I was just playing next to you!''

''With your good looks and nice smell and...'' Phil put a hand over his mouth as he realised what he said. Could the earth swallow him now, please?

He suddenly found himself in front of a smirking Dan who was slowly taking a few steps closer to Phil, backing the blue eyed against the sofa till his thighs touched the soft armrest.

Dan touched their noses together, brushing them against each other sweetly. Phil closed his eyes, enjoying this little feather-like touch and hoping Dan would just kiss him, but apparently the player had other ideas, since he moved his head to Phil's left ear, lips just caressing the skin ''You smell pretty good too, Philip.''

Phil shivered. He freaking shivered thanks to Dan's sensual and low voice.

He felt Dan's lips against his skin, but now on his surely rosy cheek. Then again on his jaw, multiple times, getting closer and closer to his lips, where Phil finally felt Dan's salted lips on his, moving them slowly but repeatedly till Phil finally got his thoughts clear and kissed him back.

Phil felt Dan push him backwards, till both of them ended up on the couch, he under Dan's toned body, enjoying how well their bodies fitted together.

They made out for a few minutes till Dan suddenly separated, smiling mischeviously at Phil.

''What?'' Phil asked softly, admiring the job he had done by messing Dan's curls even more.

''I didn't tell you what prize I want for winning yet,'' he said, pecking Phil once more on the lips.

Phil looked at him a bit scared. What was Dan thinking about doing to him? Was going to be something sexual!? He hoped not, it was too soon, right?

''O...kay. What did you think about?'' Phil's voice trembled a bit, but not enough for Dan to notice, who sighed deeply and looked at Phil's chest, were he kept fiddling with the top button of his shirt.

'Why is he suddenly so downcast?' Phil thought. He hoped nothing was wrong.

''So, I'm leaving for a whole week this Wednesday for a secret project I cannot tell you about yet but I was thinking you could let me read some story of yours? I mean, I will probably have a few hours spare so I thought it would be nice to know what kind of stories you write, but only if you want to, of course...'' Dan rambled, still not looking at Phil.

Wait, Dan was leaving on Wednesday? For a whole week to do a 'secret project'?

And also, he wanted to read his stories? Phil wasn't used to people asking him about his stories, and less when the publishers had always told him 'no'. It felt a bit like a failure to be honest.

He heard Dan sigh frustratedly before speaking again, this time looking up at Phil, ''It's just, I'm in the public eye and you know so much about me already and I don't know half of the things about you, and I think your stories will let me see more about you, but again, only if you want to.''

Phil showed him a tiny smile. Oh Dan. He wanted to learn more about him by reading his stories? It was a touching gesture to be honest.

''Dan, yes, of course I will let you read them. I can give you the last manuscript I sent a while ago if you want to.'' Phil offered. 'Why is he so sweet?'

''Yeah, you sure?'' Dan asked, eyes a bit wide Phil had agreed.

Phil hummed and nodded, smiling at him, ''Yes, I'm sure, let me just get it, okay?''

Dan smiled back at him and separated himself from Phil, who got up and walked fast to his office, picking up the stack of papers that had been lying on his table for a while now and putting them inside an envelope.

'But what if Dan hates it? Would he ever tell him? What if he thought Phil was a mediocre writer and laughed at him for wanting to be an author?' Many thoughts passed his mind. Phil had to admit he was scared of Dan's opinion on him, but dismissed them and walked back into the living room nonetheless, where he found Dan sitting on the couch instead of lying down.

''Here,'' Phil handed him the envelope as he sat down next to him, ''my last manuscript. It's a bit long, I don't know if you will finish it in a week but...'' he trailed off, realizing he won't be seeing Dan for a week.

Taking into account that they were getting used to see each other often, Phil didn't know what would happen with them. A week wasn't that long but they were just going on dates, not even developing whatever they had further or not, they were... stuck. No labels. Phil wasn't really sure where he stood with Dan and even though it might seem silly, it made him feel a bit insecure.  

''Thank you. I'm sure I will manage to read it all, don't worry. I will tell you what I think about it, see if you are a better author than I already think you are,'' Dan chuckled.

Phil laughed a bit but changed the subject, ''So... this secret project... it's only a week long, right?'' he tried to keep the question casual, not really succeding.

''Yeah, from Wednesday to Wednesday... It was very short notice and it's such a good opportunity I couldn't let go to waste.'' Dan said, ''but I will text you or call you and we can skype if you are avaliable! I don't want to stop seeing you, I'm kind of used to seeing your face, and holding your hands... and... and kissing your lips.''

Phil could have melted right into his sofa but instead he leaned in and pecked Dan on his rosy lips, ''like this?'' Phil said in a low voice, smiling, knowing Dan would probably enjoy a bit more of... action.

''No, more like...'' Dan closed the small gap between them with a bit of more force, moving his lips as he had done a few minutes before, Phil's following him in sync, enjoying the little moment between the two.

''I'll miss you. It only a week but I know I'll miss you.'' Dan said almost quietly as he touched their foreheads together once they both felt the need for oxygen.

Speaking of photos, at first, he hadn’t thought about the fact that their privacy could be invaded by photographers or press, just being happy next to Dan was enough. But what if being spotted with someone like Phil was bad for him? Dan had always dated other famous people and Phil was just… Phil. A window cleaner slash wannabe author. Either way, Dan reassured him that it was fine, as long as Phil was comfortable, of course.

Phil was glad Dan took into account his shyness. He wasn’t sure what would happen if they appeared somewhere, would he be uncomfortable? Nervous? Upset? Happy? Phil wasn’t sure yet, so once it happened, it happened, and that was it.

But Wednesday was gone now, letting Thursday in and Phil had to go back to his present life, where he had just finished watering the houseplants and was checking for new emails, refreshing the page every now and then to see if any of the editorials to which he had sent his manuscript wanted to publish his story. He had sent a few of his oldest stories some months before, but none of them were 'interesting enough’ or it wasn’t 'what they were looking for at the moment’ for them, making Phil feel a bit frustrated at all his attempts.

A ping from his phone alerted him, picking it up from the table, seeing it was a new message from Dan and instantly smiling. 'Don’t make any plans for this Friday. And yes, it’s a date.’

Phil could already feel his cheeks heating up. Why did he have to blush so easily!? Dan Howell asked him on a date and even though they had already been on one, Phil was squealing inside (and maybe on the outside too). A second date with Dan sounded great. More than great.

'Okay, what a shame I’ll have to raincheck my plan of eating an unhealthy amount of Doritos on my couch while watching anime to go with you.’ Phil joked, getting an immediate response from Dan, continuing their conversation till Dan had to leave, promising to text later.

Without Dan distracting him,, his mind started filling up with unanswered questions, 'Where will Dan take him? Would they go somewhere so public like the aquarium again? What if it rained? Was it safe to go outdoors tomorrow?’

Setting all those thoughts aside, Phil left his phone back on his deck, picking up his laptop and refeshing the email page once again, only to see its’ inbox still empty.

He could only hope for a miracle now.

______________

“Why did I do that?” Dan groaned loudly to himself just after exiting practice, remebering what had happened this morning.

As soon as he woke up he was still thinking about his and Phil’s date yesterday. Dan didn’t remember being so comfortable with a… crush? No. Friend? Surely after those kisses the friend barrier was already far away… What were they?

That question aside, he really wanted to go on another date with Phil, see if he could clear out their situation of where was their friendship? heading to, so he did. Sleepily, he picked up his phone and texted Phil, knowing that after lunch on Fridays he was pretty much free.

As soon as Phil sarcastically answered him, he continued their conversation, having to rush out of the door to arrive on time.

Now, hours later he had just remembered a little thing…

Where would he take Phil on the date? He hadn’t thought about that detail.

'Great thinking, Dan. Ask him on a date and take him nowhere, you are great at this romance thing!’ He really had to stop texting while his brain was still not properly functioning.

“What? What did you do? Wanna tell me?” Eric asked back, startling Dan back to reality.

Dan jumped a bit and sighed, not having noticed Eric next to him. Maybe he should explain to Eric all this mess?

“I might have sent a text without much thought to someone this morning and now I’m pretty much in trouble?” Dan questioned. He knew he would came up with some idea sometime, but Phil had agreed on going on a date tomorrow and he was pretty much freaking out.

“Okay… was that text that bad? Is that person going to block you or something?” Eric questioned.

“No, it’s just… I wanted to…” Dan stopped mid-sentence. Did he really want to explain everything what was happening with Phil to Eric. Dan thought he deserved it after he had helped him with that panic attack… “The story is a bit long, you have time?”

“Yeah, let’s go. We can grab a coffee.” Eric said, walking towards his car so they could drive to a nearby café.

That’s how he and Eric found themselves deep in thought on a popular cafeteria on a sunny Thursday after practice.

“Okay, have you thought of anything while you were telling me about Phil, yet?” Eric asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“The only thing I know is that the aquarium is out for sure. We went there yesterday for our first date,” Dan said, blushing a bit as he remembered how a great time he had had, “and coffee too. As I told you we meet in person for the first time on a little café so I don’t wanna repeat it.”

“From what you told me Phil likes books and wants to be a future author, right?” Dan nooded along with what Eric was saying. “What about a bookshop? They have just opened a new antique vintage-y bookshop just down this neighbourhood and they have many classic and new novels.”

Dan’s eyes widened instantly. That was it! A bookshop! Phil would love that! And Dan liked to read too, not maybe as much as Phil but he was sure he would enjoy it anyway.

“Eric, I… Thank you so much, really. I don’t know what I would do without your advice.” Dan said, honesty clear in his voice.

“You’re welcome, Howell. I mean, from all you have told me you really like this Phil guy, right?”

“You have no idea how much, Eric.” Dan exhaled dramatically, briging one of his hand to his hair, messing his curls in the process. “I want to take this further, you know, ask him to be my boyfriend, but I’m a bit scared to do so. What if I lose him as a friend? I never felt this connection with someone, I don’t know how to explain it, but…”

It wasn’t like the world would end if Phil said no to being his boyfriend, but it was the first time Dan felt something so strong for someone and he wanted to make it right this time.

“Even though I’m pretty sure that if you ask he will say yes, Dan, you need to start following what your heart says so, not what your mind tells you. Otherwise, you will be scared forever.” Eric said to him, patting him on the back a few time before standing up from his uncomfortable chair, “C'mon, think about it on the ride home, I will drive you.”

Dan just nooded, starting to think of any way that he could ask Phil to be his boyfriend.

______________

“Martyn? Can you talk?” Phil asked as soon as he heard a greeting form the other line of the phone. Dan was picking him up for their date in around ten minutes, so he guessed he had a bit of time to calm his nerves by speaking to his brother. He had done that also on their first date and it kind of worked so, what if he tried again?

“Yeah, is something wrong?” Martyn said, voice a bit cracky.

'Stupid phone reception.’ Phil said to himself. The flat was so badly designed the signal could only be reached by almost on the street, that meant going almost outside and the best next option was the front door.

“No, but wait, I’m gonna go into the entrance hallway for better reception, I cannot hear you well.” Phil rapidly walked to it, instantly noticing the difference, “Okay, you can talk now.”

“You were the one calling me, you talk!”

“Right okay, um… I have another date with Dan and I’m a bit nervous. Distract me please.” Phil quickly said, rushing the words so much that Martyn almost couldn’t understand.

“Oh, another date already? Where are you two going? Are you going to kiss under the stars now? Or in front of a bridge?” Martyn teased. Ugh, older brothers. Phil kind of regrets telling him all about the date.

“I don’t know where he is taking me! And… and what if I don’t like it? I mean, I…” Phil panicked, trying to calm himself as he paced around the narrow entrance.

Phil noticed Martyn’s silence on the other side, he was about to ask if something was wrong when he heard a much serious voice. “Phil, don’t worry about that, okay? The place doesn’t matter, the only thing that should is that you are comfortable spending your time with Dan.” He must have sensed Phil’s nervousness before and was trying to be a nice older brother. And even if Phil didn’t want to admt it, Martyn was right.

It was Dan’s comapany that mattered. Phil would enjoy being with Dan everywhere, even if that meant spend 10 hours seein cars go by. He would be happy with Dan by his side.

“Thank you Martyn. You are right, but distract me a bit more please?” Phil asked again. Even if he was a bit more relaxed he could still feel tickles in his stomach.

“Okay. Following the Dan subject, let’s talk about baseball!”

Phil almost groaned but didn’t. His brother couldn’t leave the baseball subject for a minute since he ahd started talking to Dan, telling him to ask Dan about the Rocky Planets. A thing Phil had totally refused to do.

“The Rocky Planets are playing their first game of the season soon, tickets are almost out… you wanna try and get a few?” Martyn always asked the same thing before every Rocky Planets game. Phil had tried a few times and couldn’t go, the tickets were too expensive and he couldn’t spend so much on a baseball game if he wanted to eat for like two weeks.

“Martyn, you know I cannot spend that much money. I would love to see the Rocky Planets play, you know that. See them play for once at the stadium since I have never been there, but I can’t.” Phil sighed. “Maybe if I saved a bit of money I could, but I mostly use all my salary for everything.”

“Phil…” but before Martyn continued Phil cut him off, continuing his speech.

“And I would love to go and maybe surprise Dan. If everything ends up going fine with him, of course! I’m not saying it won’t go badly, but it could somehow… It’s just our second date I’m sure I could mess it up before something even remotely serious…”

“PHIL!” Martyn’s loud voice startled him from his rambling.

“Yeah, sorry. I…” but he couldn’t speak much more since a loud doorbell sound echoed around all the walls of his flat.

“Dan is here.” Phil said, mostly to himself, not even realizing Martyn was still on the phone.

“Well, have fun little brother! Speak to you tomorrow!”

“No, no! Martyn don’t you dare hang up…” but the line was already dead, leaving Phil still more nervous than before. 'Thanks for nothing, Martyn.’

Phil didn’t want to keep Dan waiting, so he pocketed his phone, hand-ironined his red bomber jacket a bit, rearranged his glasses and cleared his throat before opening the door with a smile on his face, even though the freaking zoo he had in his stomach wasn’t going away.

“Hi!” he greeted Dan, who was sporting a soft smile behind a small bunch of flowers, making Phil smile instantly. “Is that for me?” Phil asked, pointing at the bunch.

“Of course, I though you could have a colourful spot around all your houseplant collection” they both laughed at Dan’s remark, “It’s more of a thank you for last time so yeah, here.” Dan handed him the bunch, which Phil gladly picked up, sniffing it.

“I’ll put this in water and we can go, okay?” Phil said as soon as Dan nooded at him.

Phil quickly managed to arrange a vase with water and displayed the flowers in his kitchen table, proabably thinking of moving them to his bedroom when he came back from their date. He wanted to be reminded of this every single day he woke up, to be honest.

“Let’s go, then!” They both headed into the street as soon as Phil closed his front door, instantly brushing hands that Phil decide to lace together so they wouldn’t get lost in the busy street.

They walked slowly, trying to make the most of their touch of hands, dodging the many pedestrians that got in their way not minding if anyone stared, lost in their little bubble as they talked and laughed about random topics.

“We are almost here,” Dan suddenly said, pointing at the right turn that was ahead of them, “I think you will like the place. I have to confess I didn’t have this place in mind when I asked you on another date and I really hope you haven’t been here yet but yeah… this is it.” Dan finished as they turned to the right, ending up in an alleyway where Phil could spot a small bookshop.

The outside was painted a dark green, with big crooked brown letters hanging on a pannel, decorated with a few round bubble shaped farily lights. Right by its’ entrance there were two wooden shelves, a woman stood by the left one, searching for some paper book or newspaper looking around the thousands in there.

It was truly Phil’s dream place.

“You like it? I though that as you dream is to be an author, what a better place to be than a bookshop, uh?” Dan’s soft voice startled him, making Phil look at him with a surprised expression.

“I… I love it Dan. It seems so nice! Can we go in, please?” Phil knew he was acting as a child wanting to go into a candy shop, but he guessed bookstores for him were the equivalent of one.

“Sure,” was all Dan managed to say before Phil tugged him in, crossing the entrance and instantly gasping at the amout of shelves filled with old and new books, a strong smell reaching his nostrils, reminding Phil how much he loved books.

Phil walked through the narrow passages, drawing his fingers through the hard-covered books stopping at the horror/sci-fi section, his favourite genres of all, spotting a few novels he had been wanting to read for a while now.

“They have a few armchairs on the second floor of the bookshop if you just want to read,” Dan said to him, seeing as he had picked a few books already in both hands.

Phil looked down at the books and back up at Dan, realizing he was on a date with him, not wanting to leave him here alone, it would be a rude thing to do so. “No, I can read them other time, I don’t wanna ignore you the whole time. If this is a date you should enjoy it too!” Phil knew Dan liked to read, but he wasn’t as passionate as Phil towards books. Maybe spending three hours reading on worn out armchair wasn’t that appealing to Dan.

“What about we sit and you read to me? A few chapters at least. I really like hearing you talk, Phil.”

Phil, as it turned out, blushed at the comment but nooded, climbling up the small stairs that headed towards the dark blue velver armchairs scattered around with a few coffee tables also around.

It was surprisingly empty, just a few students around, making notes on their computers who didn’t even lift their heads as Dan and Phil walked by the far end of the floor, seatting across eachother in the old cushioned chairs.

Phil didn’t waste a minute and picked up a book from the pile he left on the small wooden coffee table in front of him, dangling his feet around the armrest of the armchair, resting his back againt the other, his soft and low voice instantly filling the little space Dan and him were in.

He got lost in the words that tumbled from his mouth carefully, creating different tones for the different characters that were starting to appear as he got further into the story, really liking how it was easily developing.

Phil continued reading, passing the pages with his fingers, loving the feeling of paper beneath his fingers and before he knew it he had almost reached the middle of the book, realizing they had maybe spent a few hours already there. Him reading and Dan listening.

“End of chapter 4.” Phil read, instanly blushing again as he spotted Dan with his phone out, taking a picture of him as he looked like a big child. Phil was sure his glasses were almost falling from hin nose, his red bomber jacket hunched in a few spots due to the posture he was in as he moved his feet around the air back and forth, right and left, right and left.

“Dan!” he almost shouted, laughing a bit and dragging the 'a’ of his name, knowing he couldn’t be mad at him after he had done the same thing at the aquarium.

“You look too damn cute, I couldn’t resist!” Dan said grinning.

Phil felt his face turning pink again, hiding behind the open book he had been reading not wanting Dan to see his rose coloured face so many times in a day. He hated how easily he blushed!

He heard Dan laughing softly from the other side, followed by a few steps meaning he had gotten up and was walking… “Don’t hide, please”

Phil noticed how Dan lowered the book form his face, picking it up and closing it, setting it down next to the others that were still in the pile as Dan sat in a free space of the coffee table, looking straight into Phil’s eyes.

“I love it when you blush, Phil. Pink suits you, you know.” Dan said, chuckling, making Phil blush more if that was even possible.

“I don’t like it, it makes me look like a tomato all the time!” Phil complained, crossing his arms against his chest and looking down to his lap.

“Come here, you.” was all Phil heard Dan say as he felt his fingers on his chin, moving Phil’s face closer to Dan’s, kissing his pouty lips with a few pecks, the kisses gradually growing longer as they moved their lips in snyc slowly, enjoying the other’s lips on theirs.

Phil sat up straighter, posing his hand on Dan’s soft cheek and guiding his head, not deattaching his lips from Dan’s as he bit his lower lip for a deeper kiss.

They were so caught up in their kiss they didn’t even realize one of the workers had entered the floor, ushering everyone out as it was almost time to close, only separating from each other as they heard a few awkward sounding coughs coming from the other side of the floor.

“Excuse me gentelmen,” Phil separated from Dan, both of them looking at eachother before turing thir gaze at the voice, “we are closing soon, if you could leave this floor it would be great. Thank you.”

The worker disappeared quickly, almost running down the stairs, a bit embarrassed she had just witnessed the both of them kissing not so platonically.

“We should go,” Dan said, his voice deep making Phil just want to kiss him again.

Phil nooded repeatedly, not trusting his voice after those kisses. As he had done a few hours before, he grabbed Dan’s hand again and headed them both down the stairs. Once they had reached the main floor Dan stopped.

“What’s wr…?” Phil didn’t manage to say anything more as Dan cut him off.

“Wait,” Dan said, stopping and turning back up the stairs, coming back down with the book Phil had been reading to him.

Phil watched as Dan made it to the register, paying for the book and waving a quick goodbye to the still embarrassed worker that was pilling up a few books that had been scattered around.

Lacing their fingers once again, Dan lead them both outside the bookstore, taking a few steps in the direction they came from.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the first chapters of book, it’s really good.” Phil spoke as soon as they exited the alleyway, “I had been waiting to read it for a while now, I think you will get a better experience now that you can read it for yourself.” Phil said, pointing at the novel.

“No, I bought it for you.” Dan stopped in the middle of the street, putting himself in front of Phil so he could look at him, “Yeah, I enjoyed it, you voice is relaxing and you know how to involve someone in a story but… I liked more the way your eyes lit up everytime you started a new page, how you manage to appreciate every inked word. You had the same expression as me when people tell me that you can see in my eyes that I love playing baseball, and that’s true and I want to see it many times more, with this book or with every other.”

Phil didn’t know what to say, he was completely speechleess. Dan had practically confessed he wanted to keep meeting Phil and enjoy his company as much as he could. “Dan… thank you. I don’t know what…”

“There is no need. Here, take it,” Dan handed Phil the novel, who brought it to his chest, clutching it tightly as it was going to escape from his hands, “that way you can still read it to me but in a more comfortable seat. Promise?”

Phil smiled widely at him and nooded. He would love to keep reading books to Dan even if he had to seat on a chair made of spikes, he didn’t care.

“Promise.”

Only a few more words were exchanged while they walked back to Phil’s flat, the sunset painting the path in orange and red tones, guiding them through the few people still left on the street, finally reaching their destination and managing to steal a few goodbye kisses before the night settled in.

Chapter 8