Summary: Phil had very gotten good at killing the knights trying to attack him and find his treasure hoard. He had not considered that a barefoot hobbit might make it all the way into his cave unnoticed, all the while bearing something able to spell his doom.
Phil should kill him on sight, but unlike all the knights, the hobbit actually wants to talk to him. It is something novel and new that Phil cannot help but entertain.
Tags: Dragon!Phil, hobbit!Dan, magical realism, first meeting, enemies to friends, bargaining, size difference
Word count: 9.7k
Warnings: Phil has killed two dozen knights and feels no remorse, oppressive kingdom and threats of death
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Part 2 of Cg! Dan and Phil at the Arcade SFW Agere phanfic!
Part 1 here
Part 3 here
Enjoy!!
"I wan one!!" You point through the glass at a lion plushy.
"Okay, I'll try to catch it for you, but you have to remember, love, that these are realllly hard to win. You won't be sad if I can't get it, promise?"
"Otay I promise! Try you best, Dada!"
"Will do kiddo," he smiles, "How many coins do I need?" You look around the bottom of the machine for a number, finding, "2!" He counts out loud for you, "1, 2 coins! Put them in please," he says as he hands them to you and places the coin cup down on the machine. You insert the 2 coins and watch your dada focus. He moves the claw over slowly to the lion, makes fine adjustments, checks the side angle before adjusting one last time. "Okay, I got it in place, want to hit the button?" You smile, press the big red button, and watch as the claw lowers, wraps around the lion toy, and picks it up! You cheer as it brings the toy closer to the opening! - but then it slips out of the claw's loose grasp, falling near the middle of the machine and toppling over a frog plush to finally settle right at the edge of the opening.
"But we catched him! He falled too early!" you say distraught.
"Sorry kiddo, that happens sometimes. Usually it takes a few tries to get a prize, but look! He's right by the edge, so I can use a super cool technique to win him for you. Wanna see?" he asks while handing you two more tokens to put in the machine.
"Ya," you say with less enthusiasm, cautious that he might not really win it for you after all. You slide in the 2 tokens and watch your papa line the claw up above the same lion toy, then start violently swirling the claw! His careful precision from the last attempt seemingly gone, he hits the red button and the claw drops, still spinning from the momentum, and smacks the lion toy toppling it over into the hole!
"Woah!!" You're amazed, Papa is so cool! You look where the toy fell and sure enough, there's your brand new lion plushy. You open the plastic door hatch and grab it, deciding to name it Daniel, perhaps after the tiger or perhaps after your Mama.
You decide you've seen enough to learn how to win and you're ready to try one on your own. You decide to attempt one that has a bunch of squishy foam fidget toys. Papa asks if you want help catching a toy but you instruct him to try to win a tiny toy car you saw in another machine because Mama would like it, so he goes a few machines down with a handful of tokens to do so.
You chose your toy, a piggy shaped squish near the middle of the machine. You put in the tokens, use the joystick to align the claw, even look through the side like you'd seen Papa do, before hitting the button, watching the claw fall, wrap around your toy, and pick up... nothing. 'hrmm that no makes sense,' you think to yourself. But Papa said it takes a few tries, so you try again, following all the steps in the right order, and watching it grab the toy, and slide off without lifting it at all! 'why nottttt?!' the voice in your head complains. 'One more time I tries it.' And one more time it fails. Then again on try number 4, again on try 5, and by try six the tears of frustration are forming in your eyes. It grabs hold of the animal, finally! , and lifts it along with your hopes! …Only an inch before the toy slides out, landing exactly where it was before. Like the stupid claw, you can't hold it anymore; your tears and cries escape in a burst.
Phil comes running at the sound, bending down to your level to check on and comfort you. "What's the matter my baby? Are you hurt?"
"I try one thousand times! And it never works! It hates meeeee! I never can win it!" you sob.
Phil hugs you close and rocks you gently as your standing. "These machines are tough to win, and sometimes they're broken to make them extra hard to win. How about we go sit at our table, get a snack, and reset? Does that sound okay with you, buggy?" You nod and let him lead you back to your table with your knick knacks and sippy cup. You sit down in the booth and Phil scoots in next to you, wrapping his long arm over you and pulling you in for a comforting hug. You sit together, him holding you and you holding Lion Daniel, until your tears subside and your breathing calms.
"Do you want to talk about it, my bubble?" asks Papa.
"No, I was just mads it keeped not working," you answer.
"Yeah, it can be really frustrating when we don't win. Especially when it feels like we do everything right and it's not fair."
"Yeah…"
He hands you your sippy and reminds you to hydrate while he pulls out his own water bottle and takes a few sips. Afterwards he decides it's best for you to play some games more aimed at kids like you. You cheer up playing the easier games, winning tickets, and making your way through the arcade. Phil is playing the claw machine games -trying to win that car for Dan and that piggy for you- and checking in on you every now and then. You play a number of games before spotting Dan playing something that looks really fun!
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Summary: Phil is a smart toaster who has made friends with the many other smart appliances in Susan's home. He expects Dan, the newly arrived android, to be much like the others but instead Dan refuses to interface with them, and classifies Phil's personality as a malfunction to be corrected.
Tags: Robots/androids AU, toaster!Phil, android!Dan, first meetings, crack treated seriously, fear of being reset, text communication (with special fonts)
enamoured by the fey (not just for mortals) | phan fairies AU
Summary: Phil was a prodigy of fairy circles, yet he had not ensorcelled any mortals in the realm of Fairy. Dan was intrigued, so he followed Phil through one of his circles. He had not expect to find him committing treason, or be invited to join in.
Tags: Fairies AU, fey!DnP, fairy circles, first meetings, eavesdropping, accidentally agreeing to help with a revolution
The tentacle monster and the space explorer | phan one shot
Summary: Dan was out on a mission on a undiscovered planet when the caves around him and his team crumbled. He fell, injured and disoriented, but tried to stumble his way to freedom. Instead, he stumbled his way right into the tentacles of a mesmerising alien, who took an instant shine to him.
It wasn't going to let him go. It had found a mate.
Word count: 8.3k
Tags: Outer space, tentacle monster!Phil, space explorer!Dan, explicit content: blows jobs, rimming and anal sex.
Warnings: Fear of death, blood and injury, mind manipulation, noncon body modifications and rape/noncon.
A/N: I was a little scared of the March page in the 2026 calendar because I knew I had to take it down a dark route, but it was interesting to write a very different phanfic than usual!
