There. I said it. I want to be an IronMan. I have only told three people that I want to do this and I’m really a little scared. 

About two years ago after losing almost forty pounds and finally getting back to a weight that made me feel look and feel better, I lost my job and found myself feeding my depression. I didn’t succeed in making myself happy, only in gaining back every pound i’d worked so hard to lose. As I sat watching an IronMan feed waiting for a familiar face to cross the line, I saw several people over the age of sixty cross that line. That was the point where it hit me. I was in worse shape than someone just over twice my age. Even now, I will probably be racing in the ‘Athena’ category for some time. 

I went out and bought a bike this summer. I tried to use it once a week, and while I made progress it wasn’t enough. Every month i’ve had to push myself a little harder. The first ride was exhausting after three miles. I’ve already done twenty miles this week and next week i’ll be going out on a twenty mile ride with a friend. I’ve ridden fifty miles this month and i’ve neglected the bike a bit. 

I started trying to run again. I gave up after trying to go too fast too quickly and hurting myself, I have to remember that there’s a learning curve for my body. It’s just not used to this yet. I still have to alternate running and walking, but every time it gets just a little bit easier and I can go a little bit further before I have to quit. I’ve only gone 6 miles this month, but i’m hoping to double that the next time I run. 

I bought a swimsuit at the end of last month. I haven’t been in a pool to actually *swim* in almost a decade. I’ve swim 2 miles this month, bit by bit.

I signed up for an indoor tri in January. It’s only an hour long, but it’s my first triathlon. It’ll show me how far i’ve come. 

While my journey is just beginning, I hope to never stop my journey. There’s always something to push for. My big goal right now is a 70.3 in 2017. I’m hoping to sign up for about 5 tris between now and next august. Most are sprints or super sprints, with one Olympic distance to work towards. I’ve had to work out a race schedule for the first time in my life. It feels weird. 

I started really trying to push myself at the beginning of this month and I have seen sporadic improvement, however it’s come with its own weird set of problems. I haven’t lost much weight but i’ve gained a tremendous amount of strength I didn’t have two weeks ago. I am finally defeating the blerch for the first time in my life. Exercise finally wins over laziness. I hope I never get back to the point i’ve come from. 

The Good! I feel so much better. I sleep so much better. I’m happier. I’m less anxious. Every time I start trying to swim, bike, or run I can do so much more than I could the last time. I also haven’t injured myself (yet). For me, that’s HUGE. 

The Bad! I’m constantly a little sore. My body is going from a couch potato lifestyle to exercising most days. Epsom Salts are my best friends. I also feel like i’m always hungry. I know i’m over-eating some days, so I can only hope to adjust at some point to needing more food without going crazy.