A question that’s been asked a lot of me lately, and especially last night. A question that at the moment I’m struggling to find an adequate answer for other than ‘sort of not’ or ‘I’m seeing someone but it’s still early days’. I could spend more time trying to think of a witty retort for next time it happens, but perhaps instead when Tiger is in town this week, I might just clear things up with him…it’s pretty much been 3 months now, is 2 weeks going to make a difference?

So last night at the engagement party was eventful…

I did something a little unexpected, even for me, and ended up getting a lift from my ex to the venue. How that all came about is he texted me while I was getting ready, saying he was over my side of town and asked if I wanted to catch up for a coffee. I said I was too busy getting ready, so he asked me for photos, which I told him was too hard to take adequate selfies. So he brought out the smooth moves saying he thinks I always look great and that he still looks at my photos I sent him ages ago.

At the time I was attempting, unsuccessfully, to curl my hair. After I put on my makeup and got around to putting my dress on, I realized I needed help to do up the back.

Sure, I could have waited for my girl friend to pick me up, but that was an hour away and I looked amazing. So the urge to show him just how amazing I am and to not let him have any of me was too great to resist. So I asked for his help, seeing as he was over my side anyway. However once I got around to texting him he was already on the way home. But he still came over and did up my dress.

I swear to you nothing happened. It was just like asking a friend for help. He found me irresistible though. We were in the kitchen while I was getting us out a couple of beers, and he stopped me and said, “come here, you look so beautiful” hugged me, and kissed me on the cheek.

We had a bit of a catch up chat which I’m pretty sure he told me I was so beautiful about 5 more times. He asked why I went to the islands on Australia day weekend. I told him it was spontaneous but that I went with someone. His response was to look away and pat my cat while saying “ohh…” and then change the subject. The whole experience was a win for me…but i did realise that although i was putting on a strong front and didn’t want to let him get close, there is a part of me deep down that still does. However, I realized that with Tiger in the picture, that desire has become smaller. And if I had to choose right now, I’d choose Tiger over my ex easy. I guess I wanted to test myself at the same time as showing myself off.

Anyway, the time came for him to take me to the ball in his bat mobile (he drives a fast black car). He joked that he would wolf whistle at me after I got out. Instead he leant across to kiss me goodbye before I got out and I cheeked him. I did thank him though. It was totally satisfying.

Just after I got out of the car I walked past a really hot guy on the way to the door, who actually said, “wow you’re looking really nice tonight”. It suddenly felt like one of those nights where I was on heat.

Many champagnes later, I was up dancing with the groom’s cousin who ended up kissing me in front of everyone on the dance floor. I swear he must have been about 20.

Then later in the night at the after party, I was stalked by another guy who would have been about the same age (seriously, what’s with all the young-ins?), and because I was not seeing straight at the time, I think I can recall making out with him too. He kept asking about if I was single and the guy i was ‘sort of with’. I gave him very brief replies. He was wearing terrible cologne that turned my stomach and became obsessed and wouldn’t leave me alone, but I think I’d lost all my inhibitions at this point.

All the while Tiger had been sending me sweet messages earlier on in the night after I sent him a couple of photos as requested. I wished he had been there. But it has made it apparent that I really need to know what’s going on and where we stand. I would have behaved completely differently had we clearly been in stage 3. I still don’t feel like I’m ‘taken’ so, i don’t feel all that bad for what happened.

This night was topped off by Irish2 sending an out of the blue message asking how I was, and after my initial response he also asked if I was still single.

Is this just another example of that male radar picking up that I’m almost taken? Dogs smelling other dogs?

Last night never eventuated as he never confirmed anything. I was ok with this as I got some much needed 'me time'.

Irish2 has been back in touch. He's got a new job working away. He's back in the city this weekend and has asked to see me.

I think I'll go. I like irish2...he's ok and I enjoy his company.

But I'm already feeling a bit monogamous right now. And the fact Tiger has just booked everything and locked it all in has just made me feel moreso. I feel guilty dating others right now, which I know I shouldn't. It's still early days and no where near exclusivity yet, but just seeing the potential there and liking him is enough for me to want to close out the other men.

I'm now going on a date with Tigerman.

Irish2 didn’t follow through.

And I have a couple cheeky new outfits to choose from!

Wants to catch up later.

...He's growing on me this one.

He's been a bit cute - trying to arrange to meet up again, but was concerned about taking me out in his current work ute, so wants to borrow his housemate's car to pick me up in.

I've been finding that I'm starting to enjoy the back and forth.