#ipad oi

“Fair enough… ready to get started?”

“As much as you are,” iPad says.

The interviewer pauses, then takes a drink of the cup next to them.

“Name?”

“iPad,” iPad says.

“Home Dimension?”

“Give me a second,” iPad says and reaches for an ID. “…O-I…R…2024,”

“What’s the name of the show you host?

“Object Invasion,”

“What are your most prevalent traits?”

“My wealth but also my terrific hosting abilities,” iPad says.

“Greatest strength?”

“Being a mechanical mind, my code is the smartest out there,”

“…I bet… greatest weakness?”

“…Don’t have one,” iPad says with a shrug.

“Come on man, give me something,”

“Don’t have weeknesses,” iPad says.

“Give me anything. It can be one of those weaknesses that isn’t a weakness or one that makes you look good. Doesn’t matter,”

“Don’t really have one, sorry,”

“Dude it can literally be ‘I’m too handsome, all the ladies throw themselves at me’ or ‘I’m too rich, the government needs by lobbying to stay afloat,’ anything,”

“I just… I don’t know… can we go to the next question?” iPad asks.

“No,”

“Fine… I could be hacked into and eveything would be lost…” iPad says.

“That’s actually a good one… what was your challenge?”

iPad thinks for a moment but his face drops to a frown.

“Do you not remember it?”

“I’m remembering it right now,” iPad says, then thinks for a bit longer.

“…It’s fine if you don’t remember it,”

“Give me a second! …It was repairing something,” iPad says.

“…I have to ask-”

“Give me a second,” iPad says.

The two of them sit there for a another moment as iPad thinks.

“My… no… it was a random object you could get anywhere. A light switch? Had something to do with light. A lightbulb? No, that’s one of the contestants,” iPad says. “Uh…I can’t remem- wait… no…”

“Flashlights?”

“Yes! Okay, yes. The challenge was to repair flashlights!” iPad says.

“Great… did anything stand out when you were hosting?”

“Oh! Uh there was this one thing. I’m pretty sure the Leaf and the Taco are getting it on,” iPad says with a smug look on his face.

“…Great to hear. What do you plan to do with your free time?”

“Drive,” iPad says.

“Contact Information?”

“Follow me on X, the Everything App, I’m @iPadRealIOHost__ and I also use Instagram under that same name minus the underscores,” iPad says.

“Great, any comments or questions?”

iPad looks around then leans forwards towards the interviewer. Only for the interviewer to lean back a bit, so then iPad leans forwards a lot more then says into his ear:

“…Do you know where I can find some cars?” iPad asks. “To you know, drive,”