“Fair enough… ready to get started?”

“As much as you are,” iPad says.

The interviewer pauses, then takes a drink of the cup next to them.

“Name?”

“iPad,” iPad says.

“Home Dimension?”

“Give me a second,” iPad says and reaches for an ID. “…O-I…R…2024,”

“What’s the name of the show you host?

“Object Invasion,”

“What are your most prevalent traits?”

“My wealth but also my terrific hosting abilities,” iPad says.

“Greatest strength?”

“Being a mechanical mind, my code is the smartest out there,”

“…I bet… greatest weakness?”

“…Don’t have one,” iPad says with a shrug.

“Come on man, give me something,”

“Don’t have weeknesses,” iPad says.

“Give me anything. It can be one of those weaknesses that isn’t a weakness or one that makes you look good. Doesn’t matter,”

“Don’t really have one, sorry,”

“Dude it can literally be ‘I’m too handsome, all the ladies throw themselves at me’ or ‘I’m too rich, the government needs by lobbying to stay afloat,’ anything,”

“I just… I don’t know… can we go to the next question?” iPad asks.

“No,”

“Fine… I could be hacked into and eveything would be lost…” iPad says.

“That’s actually a good one… what was your challenge?”

iPad thinks for a moment but his face drops to a frown.

“Do you not remember it?”

“I’m remembering it right now,” iPad says, then thinks for a bit longer.

“…It’s fine if you don’t remember it,”

“Give me a second! …It was repairing something,” iPad says.

“…I have to ask-”

“Give me a second,” iPad says.

The two of them sit there for a another moment as iPad thinks.

“My… no… it was a random object you could get anywhere. A light switch? Had something to do with light. A lightbulb? No, that’s one of the contestants,” iPad says. “Uh…I can’t remem- wait… no…”

“Flashlights?”

“Yes! Okay, yes. The challenge was to repair flashlights!” iPad says.

“Great… did anything stand out when you were hosting?”

“Oh! Uh there was this one thing. I’m pretty sure the Leaf and the Taco are getting it on,” iPad says with a smug look on his face.

“…Great to hear. What do you plan to do with your free time?”

“Drive,” iPad says.

“Contact Information?”

“Follow me on X, the Everything App, I’m @iPadRealIOHost__ and I also use Instagram under that same name minus the underscores,” iPad says.

“Great, any comments or questions?”

iPad looks around then leans forwards towards the interviewer. Only for the interviewer to lean back a bit, so then iPad leans forwards a lot more then says into his ear:

“…Do you know where I can find some cars?” iPad asks. “To you know, drive,”

“Are you serious?” Suitcase asks.

“Yeah… he’s… dead,” Gold Ingot says, getting up from his chair to inspect the body.

“Terrific and let me guess…” Suitcase says.

“They never told me what to do when this happens,” Gold Ingot says.

“Well… I guess we could leave him here,” Suitcase says.

“Here? No way!” Gold Ingot says. “We have to bury the body,”

“Where?” Suitcase asks.

“Pick a place, preferably somewhere far enough from here,” Gold Ingot says.

“Fine. Let’s carry his body and go on the bus,” Suitcase says.

“On the bus?” Gold Ingot says.

“How else are we going to take him somewhere else?” Suitcase asks.

“We can’t let anyone see us!” Gold Ingot says.

“There’s nobody here besides Silver and Bronze,” Suitcase says.

“…We can’t leave any evidence behind,” Gold Ingot says.

“For who?” Suitcase asks.

“This is just a terrible situation,” Gold Ingot says.

“Let’s just get rid of him, I actually don’t want him here. At least not where we sleep and eat,” Suitcase says.

“Where do you suggest we put him?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Outside but you seem against that for some reason,” Suitcase says.

“Do you just put dead bodies outside?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Usually we don’t have dead bodies,” Suitcase says.

“Terrific,” Gold Ingot says. “We have to get rid of this somehow,”

“Well then where do we go?” Suitcase asks.

“How about… we burn the body instead?” Gold Ingot says.

“That doesn’t sound like the worst idea,” Suitcase says.

“Awesome,” Gold Ingot says. “Lets go make a fire,”

The two go outside and begin to collect sticks. They find a fire pit and put all their sticks in it. Then they go to collect more sticks. Then Suitcase goes to get some fire starter and matches while Gold Ingot gets more sticks. They eventually get back together and then proceed to start the fire.

“That might not be the best idea,” Gold Ingot says as Suitcase tries to light a match to put into the fire with her feet.

“I can do it,” Suitcase says and after a few tries she lights it and throws it into the fire and it lights up.

No harm done. The watch as the fire begins to burn. Large and bright. They smile at their handiwork.

“This looks nice,” Suitcase says admiring the fire and their handywork.

“Yeah…” Gold Ingot says doing the same.

They stand and look at it a while longer.

“OH MY MOLD!” They hear someone shout.

“Right, the body,” Gold Ingot says.

The two rush back to the scene and find Silver looking at the body.

“Hey,” Gold Ingot says.

“What is that?” Silver asks.

“Oh… he shot out his… medicine,” Suitcase says.

“Dead body things I guess, usually they aren’t dead this long without… intervention,” Gold Ingot says.

“How did he die? Where have you been?” Silver asks.

“Randomly and we’ve been making a fire to burn the body,” Gold Ingot says.

“Why?” Silver says.

“We had no other choice,” Suitcase says.

“They didn’t give me anything to deal with this scenario and I’m not calling Announcer again,” Gold Ingot says.

“I mean… I guess… can he even be recovered?” Silver asks.

“Probably, he is an object,” Suitcase says.

“What are we going to do when they ask for the information?” Silver asks.

“Are they even going to ask for that?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Maybe,” Suitcase says.

“I guess we could burn his body to cover the evidence,” Silver says.

“Hey guys. What are we talking about?” Eucerin says suddenly alive in front of them. With a smile on his face.

Everyone looks at him in horror.

“…Weren’t you dead?” Suitcase asks.

“Not anymore,” Eucerin says with a shrug.

“No, like the number, on your ID,”

“Oh… okay… B…N…R-555,” Daddy Long Legs says.

“Great. What’s the name of the show that you host?” Gold Ingot asks.

“BUR-NER,” Daddy Long Legs says.

“Greatest Strength?”

“My… my… my abil-ability to be… clear and con-cise…”

“I can tell. Greatest Weeknesses,”

“Being honest…”

“…What was the challenge you did?” Gold Ingot asks,

“…Which… which ep-i-sode?” Daddy Long Legs asks.

“The only you just hosted,” Gold Ingot says.

“I wasn’t aw-awake for that one…”

“What?”

“The cei-ling knocked… knocked me out…” Daddy Long Legs says.

“What ceiling?”

“It’s… grey…”

“In the hotel?”

“No…”

“Are you talking about your home dimension?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Yes?”

“The challenge you hosted here,” Gold Ingot says.

“Oh! I… made them bounce… balls,” Daddy Long Legs says.

Gold Ingot sighs.

“Anything you noticed?” Gold Ingot asks.

“The bright light,” Daddy Long Legs says and points to the sun.

“I’ll count it,” Gold Ingot says. “Why do you plan to do with your free time?”

“…Maybe… I’ll make… make a show,” Daddy Long Legs says.

“Please don’t do that,” Gold Ingot says.

“Okay…” Daddy Long Legs says.

“What’s your contact information?” Gold Ingot asks.

“You found me,” Daddy Long Legs says.

“That isn’t really an answer,” Gold Ingot says. “We need a phone number or social media or anything like that,”

“…How about… How about I-I give you my card,” Daddy Long Leg says.

“Sure…” Gold Ingot says with a suspicious look on his face.

Daddy Long Legs puts a card on the table, Gold Ingot reads it.

‘Daddy Long Legs, Burner LLC, he’s a cool dude.’ It reads.

“Is this a real business?"

“Yes,”

“Good enough,” Gold Ingot says. “Any questions or comments?”

“No…”

“Terrific,” Gold Ingot says. Daddy Long Legs gets up and walks out. Having to duck under the door to get out.

Silver walks in after he’s through.

“Big guy,” Silver says.

“Also very dumb,” Gold Ingot says.

“Well, good news but you aren’t going to believe it…” Silver says and steps out of the way to reveal someone. Gold Ingot’s eyes go wide.

“Already?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Name?” Gold Ingot asks after a moment.

“The Big Lover, according to the BFMI wiki that is my name. Articles on the BFMI wiki are-” The Big Lover begins to say.

“None of that. Home dimension,” Gold Ingot says.

“Was that in the form of a question or a demand?” The Big Lover asks.

“Whatever one makes you answer it,” Gold Ingot says.

“My dimension is my dimension! It is a good dimension because-” The Big Lover begins to say with a wide smile.

“No like the code,” Gold Ingot says, The Big Lover gives him a blank look and a dropped smile. “Like on your ID,” Gold Ingot explains.

The Big Lover just gives him a stare.

“The ID that we all got… mine says YAS-216. What does yours say?” Gold Ingot asks.

“…I don’t know what you're talking about,” The Big Lover says.

“You have to… I bet there’s something for this,” Gold Ingot says. He begins to rummage around in his files.

“Only the sixth host and we’re already stuck.

On the most basic interviews,” Bronze says.

“Bronze! It’ll be okay, Mr. Lover. We’ll make sure everything ends up a-okay!” Silver says.

“I sure hope so,” The Big Lover says with a big frown.

“Wow, that tone is new,” Bronze says.

“Nothing in here,” Gold Ingot says. “Alright… are you sure you don’t have an ID?”

“I do not,” The Big Lover says now back to his normal self.

“Alright. I can’t call anyone… oh wait give me a second,” Gold Ingot says and inputs a number: 5427-51872-128965 into his phone.

Everyone watches as the phone rings and eventually picks up.

“Hey Announcer," Gold Ingot says. “Nothing’s wrong… yet. Just asking, what if someone doesn’t have an ID? Okay… yeah… no… that’s none of your business… that’s definitely none of your business… why are you asking people that? No, I don’t want to hear your… thank you. Alright. Okay. No I won’t say it back,”

Gold Ingot hangs up the phone.

“No ID,” Gold Ingot says and writes down. “What’s the name of your show?”

“Battle for Money Island,” The Big Lover says.

“What are your most prevalent traits?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Loving!”

“Greatest Strength?”

“Loving!”

“Greatest Weeknesses,”

“Not having an ID,”

“…Fair enough. What was your challenge?” Gold Ingot asks.

“To look at a Cashew!” The Big Lover says.

“What?” Gold Ingot asks.

“No way,” Bronze says trying to stifle a laugh.

“To look at a Cashew!” The Big Lover says.

“I think I’ll ignore that to spare all our sanities,” Gold Ingot says. “Did you notice anything while hosting?”

“Everyone was so mean!” The Big Lover says.

“Welcome to the club,” Bronze says. Gold Ingot gives him an annoyed look but then immediately goes back.

“What do you plan to do with your free time?” Gold Ingot asks.

“Share myself across the world!” The Big Lover says.

“Contact Information,” Gold Ingot says.

“You can summon me by calling my name three times and making a rhombus with candles and candle wax on it, none of it lit,” The Big Lover says.

“…I’ll keep that in mind,” Gold Ingot says. “Do you have any questions or comments?”

“What is love?” The Big Lover asks.

Everyone stops and looks at each other.

“Matter of opinion,” Bronze says.

“That answer sucked,” The Big Lover says and flies towards the door with a frown. He opens the door aggressively and slams it shut.

Everyone looks at the door in silence.

“How did you manage to peeve the guy made to represent love?” Silver asks.

“Maybe he isn’t?” Bronze says with a shrug. “Either way… wait do you guys hear that?”

The three of them outside to see The Big Lover punching trees and occasionally screaming presumably from anger. Silver and Gold Ingot look at Bronze.

“That’s not my fault,” Bronze says.

“Home Dimension?”

“…YAS-216,” Bronze says, reading off of his ID.

“Name of the show you host,”

“Paper Puppets Take 2!” Silver says.

“Do we really have to go through all of this?” Bronze asks.

“It’s what I was told to do,”

“You already know all of this,” Bronze says.

“Not all of it. What are your most prevalent traits?”

“My drawing abilities and hopefully my kindness,” Silver says.

“What is this a job interview?” Bronze asks.

The interviewer gives him an annoyed look.

“Monotone…ness,” Bronze says.

“Good enough. Greatest Strengths,”

“Always willing to help,” Silver says.

“Not always lashing out at people,” Bronze says, the interviewer looks a bit annoyed but doesn’t say anything.

“Greatest weakness,”

“I’m a bit of a pushover,” Silver says.

“A bit uncaring,” Bronze admits.

“What was the challenge you did?”

“We made people throw hangers at a rod and hopefully they would cling on,” Bronze says.

“That sounds right,” Silver says.

“Did anything stand out when you were hosting?”

“There was a Hanger as a contestant, she got really upset,” Silver says.

“That and the Rotten Apple that dragged itself away when we eliminated it,” Bronze says.

“What do you think you’ll do with all this new free time?”

“Help you, I assume,” Bronze says.

“I wanted to relax a bit,” Silver says.

“You can still do that but I do need a bit of help. Contact Information,”

“You can just walk over to us,” Bronze says.

“I need to put something down, it’s more for them than for me,”

“…My number is +99 278-7777-0917,” Bronze says.

“My number is +99 278-7777-0278,” Silver says.

“Any questions or comments?”

“Why are they doing this?” Bronze asks.

“They want data,” The interviewer says with a shrug. “Anything else?”

The two shake their heads no.

“Let me do my own interview now,” The interviewer says and makes a hand motion for them to leave.

They do and the Interviewer sighs to himself then goes to start again.

“Come in,” He says.

The door opens.

“I don’t see her anywhere, do you just want to do ours?”

“Give her like ten more minutes,” The interviewer says, the other person sighs then closes the door.

The interviewer takes another drink.

“I should’ve said yes… I can still do that. Hey! I actually-”

Popcorn crashes through the ceiling.

“…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

“Hey man! How’s it going?” Popcorn asks in the seat.

“…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

“I’m ready for my interview!” Popcorn says.

“…Fine… guess I’ll… whatever,”

Popcorn simply sits there and smiles.

“What’s your name?”

“Popcorn poppington the third!”

“Popcorn, what is your home dimension?”

“Today it’s… HVN-011,” Popcorn says looking at her ID.

“…I’m not even going to ask what you mean by today so what’s the name of the show that you host?”

“Shovember,”

“What are your most prevalent traits?”

“Randomness,”

“…Anything else?”

“It’s all I have,” Popcorn says sadly.

“…Alright… greatest strength?”

“My looks,” Popcorn says and snaps her fingers.

“Greatest Weakness?”

“Crippling loneliness,” Popcorn says.

“What was your challenge?”

“Ping pong,”

“Anything stand out why you were doing that challenge?”

“Yeah… The rose one and the robot one were weird during the final game. The rose one kept winning so much, but she did win the tournament so she must just be really good but the robot looked afraid. Which is weird because robots aren’t supposed to be afraid,” Popcorn says.

“Interesting,” The Interviewer says as he marks it down. “What do you plan to do with all of your free time?”

“Succumb to my instincts,” Popcorn says, looking completely serious.

“Contact Information?”

“Carrier Pigeon, just say ‘Go to Popcorn’ it’ll know,”

“Good enough. Any questions or comments?”

“Where can I get a girlfriend?”

“…You could start by repairing my roof,”

“Oh that? That’s too easy,” Popcorn says and jumps up back through the roof which somehow reconstructs as she raises it up.

“…Not even going to question it,”

A knock is heard on the door once again.

“You want us in now?” The person who opens the door asks.

“Yeah, just sit down,”

“Name?”

“Announcer,” Announcer says.

“Home Dimension?”

“GKY-2763,” Announcer says.

“What is the name of the show you host?”

“BFDI also known as Battle for Dream Island,”

“What are your most prevalent traits?”

“Hosting, Organization, Frugalness and being impartial and fair,” Announcer says.

“Greatest Strength?”

“See Last Question,”

“Greatest Weakness,”

“I care too much,”

“What was your challenge?”

“Collecting Coins,”

“Did anything stand out?”

“Contestants were confused and some of them were completely distracted. I assume this will work itself out however,”

“…Sure… What do you plan to do in your free time?”

“I have a small house that I intend to live in and I wish to further my findings,” Announcer says. “Do not give me that look,”

“I didn't give you a- What’s your contact information?”

“You already have it,” Announcer says and gets up from the chair and heads to the door.

“We have to put it on record,”

“Put what you know on record,”

“…So [email protected] and your phone number is 5427-51872-128965? I will also put down that you don’t use any social media,”

“Correct,” Announcer confirms.

“Great… and I guess since you're already leaving you have no questions or comments about this?”

“…To improve… cut the questions that don’t matter. Say the questions more professionally and authentically. But practice makes perfect,” Announcer says.

“You're already forcing me to do this, isn’t that enough that I’m doing it willingly?”

“No,”

“Fantastic… I’ll keep that in mind,”

“Terrific, see you soon,” Announcer says then walks out of the room.

The interviewer sighs, and rubs his head a bit.