#invisible...

She ruined Scoobs mind too,

And Quanas, She made them believe they were angels....

The struggled with it forever.....

There is nothing you can do about the bad thoughts in your head....

Sometimes you have to give in to the carnal thoughts, or they will eat you alive...

I woke up one morning with hounds in my head, they were loud and I could hear them barking.... It was so much fear, I had been sober from amphetamines for about a year at that point.

That didn’t stop them..... It’s like the shadow people that wake you in the middle of the night.... except I was awake.... and moving, they wouldn’t leave.... I blame the carnal part of me. because I was also COMPLETELY celibate for 6 months. (Because I was told that it would heal me...(That’s how they all tricked me)This will heal you(The things start tearing me apart))

Now It’s difficult for me to trust anyone....

No one is listening...

No one cares....

I know, But you can’t care....

And that’s how it should be, there is no reason to part your soul for someone.

Because you can’t help.

I wouldn’t..... Not now.... Everything would be out of pity.

I am but one man, who cannot feel, The only enjoyment I have is creating chemicals, and spending them on fullfilling reactions... such as a fire.. to study, to draw... to fake hapiness for the grandparents.

I’m lonely, I’m tired, There is nothing else to think about besides the one locked in the cage.

I could start calling my items he or she, but that way leads to madness, and I’m through with that....

I’ve been alone for far too long.... that’s the only excuse I have.

‘You’re surrounded by your grandparents’ 

I don’t wish to discuss people who have lied to me......

I don’t hate them for it, that’s how they were raised.

Working out..... That’s what I spend some energy on.

Everyday.

As it is.

It is what it is.

I will not ruin someone else’s life. I will not ruin another persons life.

I will not hold grudges, I will continue on this pursuit of happiness.