#invaild

About a 2-3 years ago I tried coming out as trans to my mom and today I will be showing idealistically what she could’ve said and she realistically said.

Idealistically-

Me, a young trans guy whose just found that there’s a word for what I’m experiencing: “mom I think I’m trans.”

My mother: “that’s great I support you”

And on the alternative (still would’ve preferred this over what actually happened)

Me: “mom I think I’m trans”

Mom: “get out”

*i go live with my dad whose super supportive of everything and life is ok*

BUT

NEITHER OF THOSE HAPPENED

Reality-

Me: “mom I think I’m trans”

Mom: "uhhhh what? No you’re not? I’ve known you your entire life and you’re not trans. There’s just no way. You’re not.”

I decided to turn it into a video! Like a video lyric comic thingy idk... Also pls do excuse the bad quality and audio of the vid. (I triedd -_-;)) I hope you guys enjoy!!! ^^

That is if the vid does work >.>;

It’s exhaustion.

It’s lying in bed, aching to your very core,

Feeling like to go and have a shower and get dressed would be an achievement today.

And knowing that’s rubbish and you should be striving for more

You were a gifted and talented kid at school after all

And who’d consider the talent of getting out of bed each day.

 It’s an inferiority complex that hovers in the recesses of your mind,

Waiting, waiting, waiting, watching

Then

Bam

Sitting in the café surrounded by people,

And knowing you don’t have a single valuable thing to contribute to the conversation

And it would be the same if you weren’t there.

 It’s not caring,

It’s not caring about not caring,

It’s feeling guilty for not caring.

It’s a shame.

 It’s a self-hate that you can plaster a smile over

If you managed to drag yourself into the communal kitchen

But retreating back to your room

And a silence and exhaustion

Like your very soul has just run a marathon

 And some days it’s okay

Some days it’s great

And it’s these days that make you feel like a fraud

 And like you were maybe never bad at all

You were just lazy

A drama.

 You skirt the diagnosis

Not feeling your suffering is valid

Or suffering enough

It’s not wanting to claim an illness that’s not yours

Yet longing for the label

Because if you could only justify it with medical diagnosis

That would be something

 Because you can’t cough, or sneeze, or show it.

  Then when you made excuses to friends

About why you couldn’t hang out today

They might accept it

If not understand

That for today if you’re able to have a shower and get dressed