#introvertterritory

This feeling is scary.

The realisation that anything can happen to anyone anyday is hitting hard.

This is all and nothing

All at once

And yet not together

This is life

And it is harsh

My Rose tinted glasses are broken

I am just not as motivated like I was in January. I want to feel that rush again and do all the things again.

The other project I am working on is finding me a freelance work. I am broke after all the travelling and I have so much more plans and expenses to pay for and no project at the moment. Freelancing just tires me out sometime. I wish to find a real good project to work upon soon.

Hey Tumblr!

I am just back from my first run in the evening. Felt effin good. 30 minutes of mixed run and walk. I am following the C25K app to improve my endurance.

Today I wanna talk about some important things regarding my fitnees journey, so lets chat.

The thing is I have tried exercise earlier as well but failed and obviously. I listen to a lot of fitness coaches and people in general or on YouTube. The one takeaway I have from somebody into bodyweight training, or a gym coach, or somebody who loves running is to put in a little bit of the other thing that you are not doing.

Which means, if you have picked up bodyweight for example you need to put in some cardio. Or if you like the feeling of a good run and have chosen it as your weight loss weapon (or whatever journey you are on), do put in some bodyweight or strength training. What this does is not let your body fall into a montonous habit and spices things up a little. It also awakens your body to absorb all those extra efforts that you are putting in.

For somebody into bodyweight this means cardio will increase your metabolism. For somebody into cardio this translates into improved endurance and better results.

So, that's what I am trying this time. I will mix in Chloe Ting's Flat belly program (Jan 2019) and C25K app. I am doing the Jan 2019 program because I felt the 2020 was gonna be easier and also didn't target the entire body, it is focused on the belly issue and that just doesn't satisfy my needs at the moment.

Now the C25K app needs 3 days in a week and Chloe requires a 3 day continuous workout schedule followed by one rest day. And I am confused as to how will I incorporate these two together. So I am gonna chart this whole thing down and probably arrive on something that could work for me. But then I am also very off planning and all for impromptu things, so I will need a real tight leash on it. Just saying

So, someone asked me today what I love the most in the world?... and in the classic rotten way that I call humour, I replied money.

Anyways, long story short, the gracious and kind gentleman did point out to me that if I don't love myself the most...nothing means shit.

And in a moment of mentos lightbulb ad, I remembered this blog..that was created just for the same reasons.

MBA is over and I'm free from the place that once I was too excited about and not more than 8 months into it turned into the most dreaded place for me.

This gives me some time on my own to go back to self-love and make something worthy of my life.

And give it all away

I'm too scared that One day

I won't have enough for me

Or maybe the pieces

Are what's left of me

And I will vanish

To be the fix, fell in lovе

With being used

Now he showers me with gifts and flowers

But I miss taking showers with you

But you're so bad for me

But I want your love every morning

Waking up with him but I wish you'd call me

I still miss our extremes

Like

Your 'come over' texts at midnight

Rolling out of bed for your lies

Putting glitter on my blind eyes

Loving you wasn't as it seemed

And finding good in bad and ugly

Deep down knowing you don't love me

I'd leave again before the morning

Loving you was a fever dream