#intimacy coordinators

this on its own isn't a big deal but the "at the risk of ruining the fantasy" quote and it being insinuated that the interviewer maybe was implying or inquiring about the "realness" of their sex scenes wouldn't be a huge deal, but seeing this alongside the increasing dismissal by wealthy actors and actresses of the importance of intimacy coordinators e.g. mikey madison (anora), julia roberts (after the hunt), jennifer lawrence (die my love), gwenyth paltrow and timothee chalamet (marty supreme) is so fundamentally problematic.

i don't know when it became normal to almost brag about not "needing an intimacy coordinators" because wealthy actors started believing that by having one it was almost a diss to their acting abilities, to their and their costars "chemistry" but i hope more than anything, that normal people, young royals, heated rivalry, bridgerton, all of these shows keep on highlighting what sensuality and beauty can be achieved when intimacy coordinators are brought in. while it's great and important that actors and actresses bond and can form life-long connections, sets are a PROFESSIONAL WORKPLACE. it would be a work place VIOLATION for people to just be fucking out of passion. it's fucking weird to assume that some decisions in sex scenes are "real" and it's weirder to be like "oh it's hotter cuz its real". it is a TESTAMENT to the work of the cast and the crew, it is more impressive to achieve the technical feat of following a choreographed sex scene and that should be far more talked about rather than speculation on how 2 costars MUST BE TOGETHER because of how they must have improvised a hand grab or a longer kiss. make no mistake, agreeing prior to the coordination of the intimacy coordinator what people are comfortable with, allows space for "improvised" movements, etc. but this is all part of the work!! the importance of this is espoused later in this article but also has been repeated by jonathan bailey, aimee and connor swindell on the set of sex education (who were at the time a real couple) and so many more.

not only does this trend feel like a massive spit in the face to the #MeToo movement for enshrining intimacy coordinators as a necessity on sets but it also dilutes the necessity of them for actors and extras WHO ARE NOT WEALTHY HOLLYWOOD ELITES. if something happens on set that julia roberts, for example, thinks "hey that's a violation of my autonomy and i was uncomfortable" you have in possession a fat bank account, a fleet of lawyers to helm an attack and protection that poor, broke extras and other actors do not have!!

the line being touted that intimacy coordinators are "optional" and that "we didn't need one" is incredibly dangerous. they are mandatory and it is not just for actors but also for the crew! THE BEST SEX SCENES YOU'VE SEEN ALL HAVE INTIMACY COORDINATORS!!!!!

this article does a great job on expanding: https://hungermag.com/editorial/what-do-intimacy-coordinators-do-anyway

and the intimacy coordinator behind young royals, one of my favourite and i would say leading the forefront of how intimacy coordinators TRANSFORM for the better sex scenes did an incredible interview talking about it all!!

(tags via @leonardcohenofficial)

1. It’s legitimately sad that Noah Wyle (and so many other actors) has felt this way for so long.

2. I’d rather shows or movies not have sex scenes if actors feel uncomfortable, pressured, or coerced.

On Monday a new podcast episode featuring Aidan dropped. It was likely recorded sometime last week or the week before. You can listen via the link. The image is taken from the podcast’s official Instagram account. For anyone who doesn’t have time to listen right now, here’s a short summary. This is only a fraction of what he talked about, so the episode is very much worth your time. I also can’t guarantee this summary is perfectly accurate, so feel free to add or correct things in the comments. And thank you for the positive feedback on my recent text post. I’ll definitely do more of these.

At the time of recording, he had just come back from London. Before that, he was in Manchester filming a project called 7 Miles Out, which is already wrapped. He also recently shot a new indie thriller in New York with Angelina Jolie, possibly titled The Initiative. Both of these projects haven’t been officially announced yet. In both cases, he mentioned filming sex scenes, which led to a longer discussion about intimacy coordinators. He talked about how important they are, especially in hindsight when mentioning Queer as Folk, which was made without one at the time. For the newer projects, he and his co-stars mutually agreed not to use an intimacy coordinator, while still clearly stressing their importance. He also admitted that at his age, he’s not exactly eager to do those kinds of scenes anymore and generally tries to avoid them.

He also mentioned that he’ll be attending the Warsaw Film Festival in a few weeks for the premiere of Pojedynek. There was some talk about a police thriller connected to Hong Kong and Warsaw, though it wasn’t entirely clear whether this is a new project or part of something already mentioned. He spoke about his love of books, said he’d like to write himself but doesn’t think he’s good enough, and casually revealed that he once burned his own diary. The Replacements came up as one of his favourite bands. He also reflected on his theatre background and how, when he lived in London, he used to walk through the city at night looking for inspiration.

Hi friends!

In this episode we had a totally normal conversation about the movie Blue is the Warmest Color!

We talked about bisexual stereotypes, the need for intimacy coordinators, and the impact of the male gaze on queer storytelling.

Link to the article from Stellar Magazine

To some, sitting with your partner to watch yourself make out with another might be uncomfortable. To me, it’s just part of a job – and I scored a high-five from my girlfriend afterwards.

You see, I recently joined the cast of Neighbours playing Amira Devkar and had the pleasure (pun intended) of an on-screen romance with Nicolette Stone, played by Hannah Monson.

To viewers, the scene was uninhibited, passionate, intimate and electric. The reality? Technical, safe and most importantly, comfortable.

Many people aren’t familiar with an intimacy coordinator (IC) but I credit those scenes to Bayley Turner of Create Consent, who was on set with us. Intimacy coordination is a new field; according to CBS News, the first production to hire and credit a designated IC was the 2017 HBO drama The Deuce.

Today, there are more than 100 certified ICs working in film and TV, and I’m grateful.

Before I worked with one, the discourse I noticed about ICs was varied, with big Hollywood names weighing in.

Michael Caine asked “What are they?” and argued that in his day, “You just did the love scene and got on with it without anyone interfering.”

Filmmaker Mia Hansen-Løve referred to them as “virtue police”, and Michael Douglas likened them to “executives taking control away from filmmakers”.

Sean Bean claimed ICs “spoil the spontaneity” of sex scenes and Jennifer Aniston – who said she was from “the olden days” of filming – argued that having an IC ask if you’re OK is uncomfortable when shooting those scenes “is awkward enough”.

To echo Emma Thompson’s sentiments, I think ICs are “fantastically important”.

These scenes shouldn’t be “spontaneous” – I, for one, wouldn’t want to be touched unexpectedly. As an actor, your job is to make them look fluid, sensual and natural, and ICs play a crucial role in this. They choreograph intimacy safely.

They help you establish boundaries, rehearse sounds, coordinate touch and design the intimacy so your private self is protected. Like a fight or dance scene, you then perform the “choreography” freely.

In our scene, viewers saw passionate kissing, touching and moaning. Behind that were dedicated sessions where our IC got us comfortable with being physically close, and facilitated conversation about what zones of our bodies we were/weren’t comfortable having touched.

We rehearsed every moment, coordinated movements, practiced sounds and regularly checked in with each other.

Having the IC there ensured that we were protected to enact an intimate interaction without offering up our private selves, because all we did was perform a series of technical movements.

ICs play a crucial role in an industry that’s rife with sexual abuse.

An environment where actors are empowered to have a say and consent to what they’re performing creates a safe space where no-one is taken advantage of. It also protects from power imbalances on set.

My first intimate scene wasn’t as graphic as one could be, but I’m nonetheless grateful to Bayley and the Neighbours production team for fostering a safe environment, so the scene could be achieved professionally and respectfully. It’s not every day your job requires orgasmic simulations, but when it’s achieved so safely, a high five is in order.

Which is what – like me and my girlfriend – Hannah and I did after we finished.

Job well done.