#intersystem

[ID: A two flags. They are the same. The flag has vertical stripes, with the middle extending left on the top and right on the bottom. The colors, from left to right, are dark grey, light grey, off black, light gren and dark grey. /end ID]

☆ INTERSYSTEM ◟

This is confusing to type out so I apologize in advance. All names are fake- Tee, Riley

I'm a polyfrag system and we're suspected to have ASPD. This messes with our empathy and our general GAF for things. We understand the point of system accountability for larger things (ie. an alter triggering someone) but for smaller things we don't care since it doesn't matter.

We ended up in an argument about the use of AI art for alter icons. (We're for it since its for personal reason and piccrews are ugly as hell.)

Shit got crazy and people on both sides started name calling and being petty. We switched out from that alter, Riley, to someone else, Tee who said we were going to take a breather and revist the convo when we calmed down. They demanded an apology and Tee said that he wasn't going too since he wasn't the one in front and the situation wasn't severe enough to warrant it.

This started another fight where the other system kept demanding an apology (citing system accountability and since Tee's part of the system that started this, he should apologize on Riley's behalf) and Tee refusing to give it until he just muted the server and ignored it.

Since then, we've had some people from the server message us to try to get us to apologize for the initial AI fight and for the fight between Tee and them. Tee says that Riley will apologize for her fight when she fronts but he won't and I shouldn't since I'm currently in front. He also says that he has nothing to apologize for.

So, AWTA for not apologizing for another alter's argument(s)?

I used to be friends with another system, some of my parts were dating some of theirs. One of their younger parts (calling him A) got attached to me, in a sort of sibling way. We are from the same source, which might have been part of why he got attached to me. Anyway, I’m an ex-persecutor and my self-image from that time is still kind of around, in that I worry I might hurt people without meaning it, so I might have been a little distant from him when he got this attached. I was slightly distant from everyone though.

A seemed to be a bit upset if I didn’t front for a while, complaining that I was ignoring him, and I sometimes started not telling him if I was fronting because he would want to talk regardless of what I was doing. I probably should have tried to communicate better if I was busy, though, so that part’s on me. All of this came to a head when I ended up fusing with another alter. A got really upset about this. Fusion is a difficult thing to process, and he is just a kid, but it got to the point of him saying that “[Name] is basically dead, I’m not talking to you” to the alter I was fused with. This happened so much that me and the other alter eventually broke apart from the stress.

Am I in the wrong for being upset about how he reacted to this situation? On the one hand, I think it’s very anti-recovery, and he shouldn’t have been processing his feelings over it by basically getting mad at the other alter for fusing. But he’s still a young alter and might not know how to react appropriately (He’s in his early teens, though, so not exactly a little kid).

I've known this person for years and I've seen the signs. From them switching on me and informing me that they're a different person. To them not remembering how got home on the drive back, to them feeling like someone else is puppeting their body sometimes. To their sexuality drastically changing from bisexual to sex repulsed asexual to hypersexual. To them having literal ocs of representations of different parts of themselves. They also have severe childhood trauma with their mother being incredibly abusive, even more than my own.

But they are upset with me for insinuating that they could have this and it's really putting a strain on our relationship. I know the signs, I know I am a system. But for them, all they do is brush off and deny it and I'm struggling to be understanding. I want them to get therapy, but they are in debt. I want to wait for them to be ready, but this is a huge deal to me. If they were aware of things, maybe they could be more understanding and helpful and we could work through this together.

I don't want to keep pushing, but I'm feeling so many conflicting feelings about this. Please help.