#internal connection

“My soulmate went through with the disconnection.” he said softly and Dr. Raynor nodded her head patiently without saying anything to him. “I met her while there was a drive-by shooting at a coffee shop a few months ago. She wanted to see whether we could start a relationship between the two of us and I didn’t want to until I was able to get through my list.” Bucky explained and Dr. Raynor nodded her head again at his words.

“Which is perfectly valid.” Dr. Raynor agreed and Bucky nodded his head at her reaffirmation of his reasoning.

“My soulmate has been in a lot of pain because of the connection and has had to be hospitalized, she was on medication to lessen the pain, and she also has a support dog that’s able to detect when she has a painful reaction.” Bucky explained and Dr. Raynor jotted down some notes as she listened to him. “I had rejected her a couple of times and she tried to compromise with me about our relationship but I told her that I didn’t want a soulmate. I don’t feel like I deserve one.” Bucky confessed and Dr. Raynor looked at him with a furrowed brow before he spoke up again. “She didn’t take it well and we drifted apart. I kept going on missions even after she told me about the pain she experiences. I didn’t believe it was that bad for her to go through. But while I was away on a mission she disconnected and now I’m living with her in a safehouse because a terrorist group thinks that she means something to me.”

“Does she mean something to you?” Dr. Raynor asked after a moment of silence and Bucky looked up at her with furrowed eyebrows. “You’re obviously upset that she disconnected from you as a soulmate even though you told her that you didn’t want a soulmate.” Dr. Raynor explained and Bucky sat there silently wondering if Maeve meant something to him.

“I wanted her to wait for me. I wanted to get through my list and then see where I was at that point.” he said after a moment of thinking.

“How long do you think it would take you to get through your list?” Dr. Raynor asked softly as she stared at him from her spot in her large armchair. Bucky tilts his head to the side as he thinks about everything he has to do to find all the people on his list and be able to help them in some way. He figured that he’d spend at least a month looking for all of the loved ones, of the people on his list, locations before going to their location and trying to make amends with them. The time to make amends with them could vary depending on how forgiving these people were, so he thought it’d be at least one to two months spent on trying to connect with them. And with fourteen people on his list that would come to just shy of two and a half years.

“Two and a half years.” he said confidently and watched as Dr. Raynor’s eyes widened at his answer. “Give or take depending on how quickly it would be to make amends.” Bucky tried to explain and Dr. Raynor nodded her head slowly at him.

“Bucky, you wanting to get through your list first is not only admirable but it’s a good thing to do. But you can’t expect someone to wait for you to be possibly available without a commitment that they can hold onto. It’s a very long time for someone who’s just supposed to wait. It's unreasonable to ask that of her without committing to a relationship at the end.” She explained to him and Bucky frowned deeply at her words.

“But I don’t know if I’m capable of caring for her like she needs me to.” he confessed softly and Dr. Raynor looked at him shocked for a moment before smiling softly.

“I think you already do Bucky. If your reaction to her disconnecting from you is so strong that you’re back in a session with me, I think you already do care for her. It may not be how she wants or needs you to but you do care for her in some capacity.” Dr. Raynor said knowingly and confidently, making Bucky nod his head at her words. “It also may not be a whole lot of caring but you have some sort of attachment to her already if your reaction is anything to go by.” 

Bucky sat there in shock at her words, he couldn’t believe that it was possible that he had some form of connection with her while be disconnected. He wondered when it had happened and how far this sense of attachment went with him. Sitting back in the chair Bucky huffed out a soft sigh.

“What should I do then? I don’t think I’m in love with her.” Bucky confessed as confusion began to swarm around him.

“Oh no, this isn’t love. It’s an attachment. Those are two completely different things.” Dr. Raynor said with finality that made Bucky’s chest tighten. He frowned softly at the feeling and wondered what it meant for him. “I think your best course of action is to come to terms with the disconnection, it’s not what you wanted but you didn’t vocalize that to her and rejected her through words and your actions. She chose to do something that was the best for her after being rejected by her soulmate and being in pain from the connection. You can’t fault her for that and she can’t fault you for wanting to get through your list before thinking about being with a soulmate.” Dr. Raynor explained as she jotted down notes in her notebook. “I think you should accept that you're disconnected from your soulmate and move forward with an amicable relationship as much as possible. Try to be friendly with her and see if she’s up to that. Or you could walk away and be done with her. You have to take into consideration what she needs to be alright in her situation. She’s the one who’s been in pain because of the connection.” Dr. Raynor gently explained to him trying to get him to understand. “You know you don’t need the soulmate connection to have a relationship with this woman, right? If you decide after your list that you want a relationship with her you can see if she’s receptive.” Bucky nodded his head at her explanation and knew that he would have a lot to think about and a lot to talk about with Maeve when he got back to the safe house.

*-*-*-*

Later on that afternoon Bucky walks into the safehouse and spots Maeve and Nocht curled up on the sofa together watching a movie, the two of them both look up from their spot to see he has a few bags of takeout in his arms. Maeve untangles herself from Nocht and moves towards Bucky to help him with the bags of food.

“Are you okay?” she asks curiously as she stares up at him. Bucky frowns softly at her question and she tilts her head to the side. “Sam said you had to go see a doctor this morning. I’m just wondering if you’re alright.”

“Oh yeah, I’m okay. Just had to go see my therapist.” he said in explanation and Maeve looked up at him surprised.

“You go to therapy?” she asked over her shoulder as she moved to the kitchen and began unloading the take out bags. Bucky follows her through the rooms and begins unloading his bags of food as Maeve pulls out utensils and plates for each other.

“Uh, yeah. Ever since I came back from Wakanda and was deprogrammed completely I’ve been in therapy.” he says and Maeve nods her head quietly as she moves back to the table with the plates.

“That’s good. Therapy is helpful when you find the right therapist.” she said good naturedly as she placed her plate down at her spot before turning back to begin preparing Nocht’s food.

“Do you go to therapy?” he asked curiously as his eyes silently watched her. She nods her head to this question as she continues to move about the kitchen preparing the food.

“Yeah, I’ve been going to a therapist ever since I was assigned to you.” She said matter of factly and Bucky felt the guilt surge up in his throat. “Sorry! I didn’t mean for that to come out like that.” Maeve began to apologize but Bucky shook his head at her words, he knew it couldn’t have been easy for her to go through all of that pain when she became his soulmate.

“No, no. It’s alright. I should know about these things about you. It’ll help me realize how much the connection affected you.” he said seriously and Maeve looked over at him from her spot in front of the kitchen counter.

“I was in a lot of pain after my 18th birthday. And it just kept getting more intense, therapy helped me understand it and come to terms with it. I kept therapy open while I grew up and helped me understand a lot of the emotions and feelings I had. And even when I found out that I could disconnect, my therapist helped me navigate through that.” she explained as she finished preparing the food and placed the bowl on the floor next to her chair. When she sat down in her seat Bucky could see the sadness come across her face and felt horribly for putting her through all of it. “It even helped me get through my family’s rejection of me disconnecting. I think that was even harder than the actual disconnect. No offense.”

“None taken. I can’t imagine how that felt. And I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve put you through. I don’t understand the full extent of it but I’m starting to understand a little bit of it. I’m sorry that your family was against it too.” Bucky said with a shake of his head. He was trying to show Maeve that he was starting to understand. While he didn’t fully understand it he thought he could eventually understand it all from her perspective.

“Thank you.” Maeve said softly before she dished out the food for the two of them. The two of them began to eat in silence and Bucky could feel the slight tension between the two of them. It wasn’t smothering but it was still there in the air between them. He wondered if they would always have this tension between the two of them. “Hey Bucky?” Maeve asked gently and Bucky whipped his head up to stare at her as he finished chewing his bite of food. “This might sound crazy but do you think that while we’re here in the safehouse we could try to be friends? The tension can be a little too much right now. Between the whole upset from my disconnect, the attempt on my life and Mayor Brooker’s life, and now being placed in a safehouse without any contact outside, it’s all a little too much for me right now.” she explained after asking the question.

Bucky sat there silently for a moment as he thought about everything that had happened within such a short amount of time. Maeve disconnecting from him, him still on missions believing that he still had a soulmate, finding out that he no longer did have a soulmate, the attack at the rally, Maeve’s apartment being blown to bits, and now staying at the safehouse for a short amount of time. Not to mention all of the background stuff that he didn’t know about. He figured it could definitely be a lot to take in for her, and he was making it more difficult with the tension that had grown between them.

“Yeah of course we can.” he said while nodding his head. “We go slow though, I don’t deserve a soulmate and I’ve lost one that I didn’t know I wanted. I’m still confused about everything. But I’m open to being friends.” he explained and saw Maeve’s eyes widen slightly before she smiled softly and nodded her head. He knew she was surprised by him stating that he had wanted her and he hoped that she didn’t hold a candle for him. He figured eventually he’d have time to explain to her what Dr. Raynor had helped him understand. For right now the two of them were just roommates in a safehouse.

*-*-*-*

**Change this. Make it little snapshots in their time together as they grow closer to each other.**

The next day after his talk with Maeve about slowly becoming friends Bucky felt a little disoriented as he woke. He felt as if things had changed in the house but he was still confused about it all. He was quietly hopeful that things would change for the better but he didn’t know how they would.

When he finally emerged from his bedroom the house was quiet except for Maeve’s soft voice as she talked to Nocht in the living room. Bucky stood in the doorway to the living room from the hallway and watched the two of them as they sat on the couch watching T.V. Maeve looked up and over her shoulder at him before smiling softly and with uncertainty. Bucky felt anger coursing through his body and he frowned at her, thoughts of her disconnecting from him and taking away his choice of having a soulmate. He began to breathe heavily and felt trapped as he stood there glaring at her. Maeve frowned softly as she watched him. She moved to get off the couch and Bucky shook his head violently before whirling on his heel and stalking back to his bedroom. The only sound besides the T.V. was the slamming of his bedroom door.

The next day Bucky came out of his bedroom early feeling remorseful for his behavior yesterday and wanting to make it right with Maeve. He started a pot of coffee for himself and then started a kettle of hot water for her. He had learned that she enjoyed a hot cup of tea in the morning to help wake herself up before she ate breakfast.

Once that was all on its way to being ready he began cooking breakfast for them all. He cracked some eggs into a skillet and let them begin to cook as he popped toast in the toaster and pulled out some bacon to cook up as well. It wasn’t until the bacon began to sizzle and pop that Maeve and Nocht made their appearance. Maeve stood in the kitchen watching him warily while she wore a large knitted sweater that fell down to her knees where he saw a pair of black sweatpants and her bare feet.

“Mornin’” she greeted him as she moved to the fridge and began pulling out the milk for their drinks.

“Mornin’” he replied as he continued cooking. Tension was thick in the room and Bucky felt as if he was going to choke on it if he didn’t apologize to her for yesterday. “I’m sorry for being an ass yesterday. I’m still messed up about all of this. And I didn’t mean to act like that.” he apologized and Maeve looked at him with wide eyes before nodding her head gently at his apology.

“Apology accepted.” she said easily before smiling softly. “Next time talk to me though. It’ll help I promise.” she insisted softly and Bucky nodded his head before turning back to the stove to finish breakfast. The three of them ate in silence before starting their day where Maeve and Nocht took up residence on the couch and Bucky started working on finding out the locations of all the people on his list of amends. Maeve would curiously come in and out of the study to try and get a peek at what he was working on but Bucky kept it close and Maeve let him be once she realized that he wasn’t up for sharing.

Their pattern of life continued like that where there would be good days where the tension wasn’t too smothering and then there were days when Bucky would get riled up about their disconnect. On the bad days he would often snip and snap at her in his frustration of the situation as he tried to come to terms with his emotions and feelings on the subject. Maeve would grow frustrated with him when he would refuse to talk to her about what was going on in his head when he would lash out.

It all finally came to a head one day when Bucky was being even more of a nasty boar with his short comments to her. Maeve was in the kitchen after Bucky had snapped back at her that she didn’t need his input on lunch when she had already made a big decision for the two of them already. Bucky could hear her groaning loudly with frustration and he knew that he shouldn’t be acting like this but he could believe that she would just laterally make this decision without talking to him.

“I made the decision for us because you couldn’t!” she shouted from the kitchen and Bucky sat on the couch in angry shock. He began to get up from the couch but stopped when Maeve spoke up again. “Oh no! You’re gonna sit there on the couch and listen to me. I’ve dealt with this shitty attitude of yours and snappy comments for long enough.” she snapped out angrily at him from the kitchen.

Bucky sat back down on the couch and listened to her move angrily through the kitchen. He was still feeling bitter and angry about being disconnected from her and not having a say in the matter. He knew he was still processing it and coming to terms with it and knew that it would be a whole process to get to the point where he’d be okay with it all.

“What you’re feeling right now is how I’ve felt ever since being assigned to you on my 18th birthday.” Maeve suddenly said and Bucky felt shock fill him as he thought about her words. “Every day I felt pain because of your actions. Every mission you completed and were involved in came with a high level of danger and I felt that pain every damn day.” she said loudly for him to hear her. Bucky could hear the frustration in her voice as she spoke and he felt guilty for causing her such pain. “Instead of being able to finish school I was in the hospital for a good chunk of my Senior year and was only able to graduate because I pushed myself while in the hospital.”

Bucky sat in silence as he heard Maeve take in a deep breath, he could hear her breath hitching in her chest and he felt his own chest tighten with emotion. He had caused this, all this pain, all this anger and frustration. He had caused it. Hanging his head Bucky tried to suck in air to calm himself down, he was feeling everything that Maeve was expressing.

“When the snap happened it was like a breath of fresh air.” she suddenly confessed and Bucky felt his world shatter. He could feel the self loathing and self doubt begin to rise inside him as he thought about what she was saying. When he was not here she was happy. “It’s sad to say but you weren’t able to put yourself in danger anymore and the pain instantly stopped. I was sad to find out that my soulmate had been snapped. But the relief of not being in pain any longer after being in constant pain for five years, it was such a life changing experience.” Maeve confessed, sounding relieved and sad at the same time.

Bucky sat there thinking quietly to himself. He was trying to process everything that he had learned so far. He was now starting to understand how painful the connection had been for Maeve and while the fact that she was relieved when he was snapped he understood it. He figured what she had gone through was like when Hydra tortured him as the Winter Soldier. Shaking his head gently he felt the darkness start to creep up on him as he thought back to his time as the Winter Soldier and being under Hydra’s control.

“I’m sure the pain you’ve felt while on a mission has been intense and severe. I’m not trying to relate what I’ve felt to what you’ve had to go through. But I want you to understand that after five years of being in constant pain and then getting that reprieve. It’s hard to explain.” Maeve said solemnly and Bucky understood what she meant. He knew how relieved he was to finally not be under Hydra’s control, to be able to think for himself. He sat there in silence understanding finally that Maeve had been essentially tortured with the pain of the soulmate connection. And with all of his rejections of her made it seem like all that pain she went through was for nothing if he wasn’t able to commit to her. 

Sitting in there he slowly began to understand where Maeve was coming from and he felt it all crash down on him. Taking in a deep breath he leaned back til his head was resting on the back of the couch and he stared up at the ceiling letting his mind come to terms with everything. When he finally felt as if he had a firm grasp of understanding the situation between them and his emotions were in check he stood from the couch and moved to the doorway of the kitchen.

Inside Nocht was laying on the floor in the middle of the kitchen while Maeve moved about the kitchen making lunch. Bucky watched them silently for a moment, his eyes tracking Maeve’s movements and saw that they were jerky as she tried to breathe calmly. Bucky stepped into the kitchen and Nocht stood from her place in the middle of the kitchen growling softly. Maeve turned to Bucky and saw that he was standing there with just a quiet unsure look on his face.

“I understand it now. And I don’t blame you for getting disconnected.” he said confidently and Maeve gasped softly at his words. “You were essentially tortured by our connection. I understand because I was tortured by Hydra while I was the Winter Soldier, for years. And when I was free of Hydra’s control it was liberating. I understand.” he confessed to her. Bucky watched as tears pooled in her eyes as her hand shakily came up to cover her mouth as a sob tore from her throat. He stood there unsure of what he should do before Maeve rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. Bucky was surprised by the hug as he felt her rest the side of her face on his chest as her arms wrapped around his waist. 

“Thank you.” she sobbed into his chest and Bucky slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders as they shook with sobs. Bucky felt a connection with Maeve as he held her while she cried as the two of them thought about their shared trauma and pain, in the back of Bucky’s mind Dr. Raynor’s voice chimed up. You know you don’t need the soulmate connection to have a relationship with this woman, right? He continued to hold Maeve as he thought that maybe Dr. Raynor was right about the two of them.

*-*-*-*

After that day when they came to an understanding in the kitchen Bucky noticed that things were a lot more relaxed and comfortable between the three of them. He was currently in the kitchen combing the internet for any information on the people on his list. He sighed loudly as he had been at for hours with very little results and was growing tired of all the roadblocks he was coming across.

Just then he heard a commotion from the living room and quickly stood from the table before grabbing his glock firearm. He made it to the doorway with his firearm raised before lowering it when he saw that Sam and Joaquin had entered the safehouse. Nocht was standing guard in front of Maeve who was standing in front of the couch with a worried expression on her face. Bucky nodded at Nocht who was only a few feet away from him, the dog relaxed and went to curl back up on the couch with a loud huff that made Maeve chuckle softly.

“We’ve got some news.” Sam said solemnly and Bucky frowned at him curiously.

“Alright we can talk while we have lunch. Have you eaten yet?” Maeve asked conversationally, Bucky watched as Sam and Joaquin perked up at her offer before they all followed Maeve into the kitchen.

“Been working on your list?” Sam asked Bucky as he nodded to the laptop that was open with papers around it. 

“Yeah but I haven’t been getting anywhere.” Bucky said solemnly and Sam smirked at him.

“What’s the matter, old man can’t work a laptop?” Sam teased him as Joaquin smiled and shook his head. Maeve frowned as she looked over her shoulder at them while preparing lunch for everyone. “You see that’s the power button and this the keyboard kind of like a typewriter, you know how to work those don’t you?” Sam teased some more and Bucky sarcastically smiled at Sam while nodding his head.

“Put it away please.” Maeve requested as she brought sandwich meat and rolls to the table. Joaquin jumped up and began gathering plates for everyone while Bucky put away all of his notes and the laptop he’d been using to do his research. “If you really need help with anything I could always help you later too.” Maeve offered and Sam looked over at Bucky with a salacious smirk on his face making Bucky shake his head. Normally he could take Sam’s teasing but right now with how things had finally smoothed out with Maeve, Bucky was worried that Sam would screw things up for him.

“Thanks Maeve.” Bucky said with a nod of his head and she nodded her head back at him before walking over to the cabinets to grab cups for everyone. Once everything was set on the table they all took a seat and began making sandwiches for themselves.

“So what’s the news?” Maeve asked as she finished making her sandwich and taking a bite out of it. Bucky looked over at Sam as he took a sip of his drink, curious to hear what they had learned while he was here in the safe house.

“Well we haven’t caught them yet.” Sam said regrettably and Bucky watched as Maeve deflated with disappointment. She obviously thought that things would’ve been settled by now but unfortunately it wasn’t working out that way. “They always seem to be one step ahead of us. We have figured out that they don’t know about the disconnect.” Sam informed them and Bucky looked over at him with surprise.

“How do you know that?” Maeve asked as she tilted her head to the side watching Sam avidly.

“They’re still targeting you. If they knew about the disconnect we figured they wouldn’t be going after you.” Sam answered solemnly.

“We’ve spotted some suspicious looking people at your office, as well as your old apartment complex.” Joaquin filled in and Bucky frowned softly at the thought that the terrorist group was stalking Maeve’s workplace and her home. He didn’t think that this group would go after someone that was associated with him and he wondered who this group answered to, who was pulling the strings with this group. He made Bucky feel anxious and cagey that they didn’t know the whole story about this group yet. Something wasn’t adding up and it was starting to bother Bucky.

“They’re also getting closer to the safe house and we have been thinking about moving you guys to another safe house.” Sam said seriously and Bucky watched Maeve whip her head to look at him.

“Seriously? What’s the point of a safe house if I’m not safe here from them?” She asked seriously as she stared at Sam in disbelief. Bucky chuckled at her question as Sam nodded his head.

“Yes normally you would be safe but this group is different. They’re more intense than anyone we’ve dealt with before. They seem to have a lot of resources and a lot of support from another organization or group behind the scenes.” Sam informed them and Bucky began to wrack his brain on the last fight that they had with this group. He realized that Sam was right, the group that they had clashed with seemed to have more members that showed up out of nowhere. And from the reports of the explosion of Maeve’s apartment the explosive devices used were something that couldn’t be found out on the black market.

“When do you want us to move to another safe house?” Maeve asked softly as she looked from Sam to Bucky with worry etched in her eyes. Bucky nodded his head once at her trying to reassure her while she smiled softly at him from across the table. 

“By next weekend. We have some things that we have to get together before we can move you guys. But you won’t have to worry about anything, it will be all taken care of.” Sam reassured her gently and Maeve nodded her head along with his words as she sat back in her chair. 

The four of them finished lunch together before Maeve got up and began to clear away the table. Bucky stood to help her but Sam grabbed his arm and shook his head before nodding his head to the living room. Bucky looked over at Maeve and saw that she had her back to them as Joaquin moved over to help her put the lunch meat in the fridge. He then turned and followed Sam out of the kitchen into the living room where they could talk without Maeve overhearing.

“We have reason to believe that they’ve found the safe house already.” Sam informed him and Bucky stared at him in shock. 

“What? So why are we still here?” Bucky asked in outraged disbelief. He knew the answer before he even asked the question and felt anger fill him at the thought. 

“We needed to get them close, they’ve been one step ahead of us this whole time and I think by waiting just a little longer we’ll be able to have them close enough to capture them.” Sam reasoned strategically. Bucky could understand where Sam was coming from in a military strategic place but the fact that he was using Maeve to draw in the terrorist group did not sit well with Bucky.

“I don’t like that Maeve might be caught in the crossfire. It’s too dangerous for her.” Bucky insisted as he crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. Sam nodded his head at Bucky’s concern, Bucky could see the sparkle in Sam’s eyes as he smiled at him.

“First, I understand your concern but she’ll be protected no matter what. Second, are you catching feelings for your ex-soulmate?” Sam teased and Bucky huffed at him impatiently.

“How can you guarantee that she’ll be safe?” Bucky asked curiously as he frowned at Sam.

“She’ll have people posted with her at all times. She won’t be alone for a second while we move the two of you. All of her guards are military soldiers from Joaquin’s division. We’ve made sure that they are all focused on her safety during transport.” Sam explained to him and Bucky sighed softly knowing that him speaking up wouldn’t be able to change anything about this at all. Nodding his head, Bucky promised himself to do everything he could to make sure Maeve was safe, but he couldn’t shake the bad feeling that was slowly creeping up on him as he thought more about the situation.

*-*-*-*

Bucky felt like ants were crawling under his skin, his anxiety was at an almost unbearable level as the morning of their transport day had arrived. He’s been feeling his anxiety rise with each passing day and has tried to keep it from affecting his time with Maeve but he knows she can sense he’s stressed about something. She’s given him his space to deal with it on his own and just kept to the outskirts with him still letting him know that she’s there for him if he needs her. 

Walking into the kitchen Bucky sees Maeve standing at the stove making eggs while some of the soldiers who will be traveling with them sit at the table talking. Making his way over to her Bucky wraps his arms around her shoulders and hugs her tightly causing Maeve to gasp softly and pause her cooking. She hums softly as she rests her face on his melt arm in acknowledgement of him. 

The two of them stand like that for a moment just feeling the companionship that they shared. Bucky tried to let her know through the hug that he was worried for her but he’d have her back and protect her no matter what happened. He could feel the reassurance from her as her hand came up and gripped his metal wrist firmly. She was trying to ground him in this moment and Bucky felt immediate relief wash over him. 

He never thought that the two of them would become this close with each other but he was grateful for it. Slowly releasing her Bucky moved to lean against the counter just to the left of her. He watched her quietly for a moment as she hummed and finished making eggs for everyone.

“I want you to know that I will do everything I possibly can to make sure that you’re safe.” he promised her quietly as he reached out and touched her forearm. Maeve looked up at him with soft affection shining through her eyes and Bucky felt the companionship that they had been building up together swell in his chest.

“Thanks Bucky.” she said softly with a kind smile that seemed to fill him up with warmth. “Alright guys, breakfast is ready.” Maeve called out to the soldiers before grabbing herself a plate of food and moving to the living room to eat in silence as the soldiers had taken over the kitchen. Bucky chose to give her space as he stayed in the kitchen and ate his breakfast leaning against the counter. 

Once breakfast was over and the dishes were all cleaned and stored away the soldiers all began to prepare for their departure. Bucky watched as Maeve held tightly onto Nocht’s leash as she stood in the middle of the living room watching everyone with wide worried eyes. Walking over to her he smiled reassuringly at her before leaning towards her ear.

“Just stick with me and you’ll be fine.” he said softly and Maeve nodded her head quickly as her body exuded anxious energy.

Suddenly one of the soldiers was guiding Maeve and Bucky out of the house and Bucky stayed near Maeve as they walked out of the safe house to the dark tinted suvs that were waiting for them. Bucky moved to the very first one and opened the door. He shifted slightly to be able to let Maeve get into the car when he heard the distinct sound of a safety clicking off. He looked up and spotted a man dressed as one of the soldiers sitting in the suv with a Glock pointed straight at Bucky. 

Instantly Bucky shifted so that Maeve was protected and he prepared to take the shot. When the firearm went off Bucky groaned loudly as the bullet pierced his shoulder and he felt shock as he felt electricity course through him from where the bullet penetrated his skin. He knew who the group was working for now with the knowledge of weaponry they had, Hydra.

Maeve screamed loudly from behind him as Bucky felt his muscles tense and then gave out with the amount of electricity that raced up and down his body. Bucky tried to grab onto the car door as his body fell to the floor, but he wasn’t able to get a good grip on it and he landed harshly on the ground where he was able to see everything. 

Nocht was barking and charging while still on her leash, Maeve was still in shock as she gazed down at Bucky with wide eyes and the soldiers all seemed to be surprised as well as they drew their weapons. Maeve screamed again as the soldiers were quickly taken down by the man in the car. Bucky grunted with anger as he watched a man dressed in dark clothes step up behind Maeve as another began to approach Nocht who was barking and growling menacingly at him. 

Maeve began to pull Nocht closer to her by the leash when suddenly the man in the SUV shot at Nocht causing Maeve to scream again as the bullet pierced Nocht in the shoulder. Nocht howled in pain and anger as she whirled on the man approaching her and lunged at him. Bucky tried to move his legs to kick out at the man behind Maeve but it was no use, his muscles were still affected by the electricity coursing through him. Bucky watched helplessly as Maeve was grabbed from behind by the man. Maeve put up a fight flailing her arms and kicking out her legs to dislodge the man but it didn’t work as the man easily picked her up and slid a needle into her neck before injecting her with a drug that subdued her quickly.

Nocht was still attacking the other man and Bucky watched as Maeve was tossed into the SUV quickly followed by her captor. It was only when Nocht realized that Maeve had been taken that she turned away from the man and faced the retreating SUV. Bucky groaned loudly at the dog to try and keep it from running after the SUV but Nocht just took off after the SUV.

Suddenly Bucky heard running footsteps from behind him and he tried to turn his body to see who was coming over to him. Bucky felt relief rush over him as Sam crouched down into his line of sight. 

“What happened?” Sam asked quickly as he checked on Bucky before looking up to where the SUV had taken off.

He had been helping Sam and Joaquin to capture and arrest the members of the group for a whole two months until they had eliminated most of the group until only the few that had taken up residence in the shipping warehouse in front of him were left. He supposed that he felt slightly guilty for rejecting Maeve one last time that he felt obligated to help out with the mission of capturing the group members that were causing problems for Mayor Brooker, but Bucky chose not to overthink about that. 

They had managed to track the resistance group to this warehouse after flushing them out of all the abandoned safehouses that they had been using for their meetings. The group, while having been reduced to this small group, was slowly starting to grow more powerful and alluring for those affected by the Blip displacement. Bucky could see both sides of the displacement issue, he was part of those that had been blipped by Thanos and while he had a place in Wakanda thanks to their help with his Hydra programing he never truly thought he belonged there. And back in New York he had managed to find an apartment to call his own but still he didn’t truly think he belonged there either. But he could also see the side of those that had stayed during the Blip, they’d had to pick up their destroyed lives when their loved ones had disappeared. They’d had to live five years without their loved ones and then suddenly their loved ones were back. Five years was a long time to be away and without any warning that things were going to go back to normal. People changed and moved on in that time.

Shaking his head, Bucky focused back on the warehouse bay doors when he suddenly heard squealing tires. He watched as a large beat up moving truck pulled up to the bay doors blocking his line of sight. Bucky grumbled softly as he peered over the crate quietly, two men exited the moving truck and rushed to the bay doors calling for the other men. Bucky moved around the crate trying to find a better position to see into the warehouse when suddenly his communications device crackled to life.

“Alright guys I’ve got eyes on the group I want Barnes and another on the bay doors while the rest are going to be moving with me.” Sam's voice came over the earpiece. Bucky nodded his head and began to move around the crate as he spotted the soldier that was assigned to his area following closely behind him. Bucky peered into the warehouse when he got to the edge of the door and saw that the warehouse was empty and he felt a sick feeling of premonition hit him as his eyes darted around the warehouse.

“They’re not here Sam.” Bucky said softly and heard the silence on the other end of the communications.

“What do you mean they’re not there?” Same asked harshly with concern and Bucky shook his head.

“He’s right Sam, Redwing’s in there and I’ve got no resistance members in the warehouse.” Joaquin backed up Bucky as he spoke into the communications device. Sam sighed softly before issuing out another order.

“Alright Bucky you and your backup sweep the room. Make sure they left and aren’t just hiding.” Same instructed and Bucky nodded his head while he darted his eyes to the soldier next to him who nodded his head in agreement.

The two of them slinked into the warehouse around the doorway and traveled along the walls to still cover each other. Once they had cleared half of the room Bucky stopped beside a table littered with maps and foreign written commands. He frowned as he tried to make sense of the commands that were written on the pages before him. He quickly gave up when the sound of metal hitting the ground alerted him and the soldier that someone was nearby.

Turning to where the sound came from Bucky saw a large metal door that was partially closed most likely leading into an office area. He checked with the soldier and the two of them took to each side of the door before the soldier opened the door. Bucky peered inside around the doorframe before nodding his head and entered the room. The room is filled with crates taller than Bucky and it’s all laid out in a maze where he can’t get a clear view of the room. 

Moving forward Bucky follows the maze with his handgun raised as he peers around the corners of the maze. It takes him and the soldier a good ten minutes to make their way through the maze, Bucky is starting to lose hope of finding the exit when he peers around the corner and sees the maze open up and there’s a group of five men waiting in the area with their own firearms. Bucky stops and takes cover alerting the soldier to do the same next to him.

“I’ve got five in the room to the right of the open warehouse area we were watching. It’s a maze and we’ve just come up to the middle of the maze.” Bucky informs over the communications.

“We’re on the back end of the maze. Stationed northwest behind cover.” Sam informs them before Joaquin speaks up as well.

“We’ve got the northeast entrance. And I’m deploying Redwing.” Joaquin advises easily.

“Alright on my mark we’re going to ambush them.” Sam speaks and then begins to countdown. Once he reaches three Bucky moves around the corner and begins firing at the men aiming for their legs to incapacitate them and not kill them. He easily hits two of the men in the legs making them fall to the floor, as he moves towards them to secure them with the plastic zip ties that they all had more men begin to spill into the middle of the maze. Bucky changed direction and began to fight with the men that entered the middle of the maze with hand to hand combat as he quickly stowed his firearm. 

Bucky could hear the others fighting the men as they spilled into the space and he focused on the man in front of him as he swung his fist into the side of his face. As Bucky moved through the men swiftly he began to feel a tightening in his lower stomach area. He didn’t give it a second thought as he continued to fight the men who just kept entering the space.

It wasn’t until Bucky had the last man held tightly by the collar of his shirt in his clenched fist when it felt a sensation of snapping within him that caused him to groan loudly in pain as his eyes widened at the man held below him. Bucky breathed through the severe pain that seized his body before punching the man in the face causing him to fall unconscious. Bucky stood there slightly hunched over as his hands pressed into his bent knees as the pain began to slowly leave his body. He looked up when he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, Sam was standing next to him asking if he was alright.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just felt this weird snap inside me and some pain but I’m okay now.” Bucky said easily as he nodded his head at Sam.

“You gotta get that checked out old man. You might’ve really hurt yourself.” Sam said worriedly and Bucky shrugged him off his shoulders. Sam grinned softly at Bucky and he glared at him in response making Sam laugh loudly as the soldiers all tied up the rest of the men who were laying on the ground. 

“Yeah, maybe I’ll go see Shuri and see if she can do a check for me.” Bucky grumbled softly as he straightened up and began to help with tying up the men. He wondered if the snapping that he had felt inside of himself was a muscle pulling too tightly and he just wasn’t feeling it right now. He made a mental note to send a message to Shuri by the time they were leaving the dock for a check up.

*-*-*-*

“I like the direction my life is heading in right now and I feel like adding a soulmate to it would upend everything I’ve worked towards. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear but maybe later on down the line when I’ve completely made amends with my past we could possibly open the connection.”

The words ran through Maeve’s mind as she blindly walked away from the man who had just shattered her entire world. She pressed a hand to her chest above her heart as she felt the pain of being rejected once more by James. She could hear him call out to her from where she left him on the bench but she didn’t pay him any mind as she continued to walk with Nocht at her side. 

She didn’t look up from her pointed gaze at the ground as she walked down the path, she didn’t acknowledge anyone that she passed on her way. Maeve’s head was in a thick fog as she just kept walking. Her heart hurt from the final blow that James had delivered. And while she couldn’t fault him for his reasoning of not wanting a soulmate it still broke her.

All the years of her mother and grandmother telling her that the pain she went through every time her soulmate was in danger would be worth it when she finally found him. All the years of unbearable pain all because of a connection to a man who didn’t want a soulmate. Maeve could feel herself shutting down completely as everything that she was told and everything that she’s gone through has been all for nothing.

Maeve kept walking until the sounds of loud car horns and yelling taxi drivers caught her attention and she finally blinked away the fog from her mind. Looking up from the ground Maeve found herself at the Duke Ellington Circle entrance of the park. Frowning softly Maeve regripped Nocht’s leash and looked down at the dog who was pressed as close to her side as possible without making it difficult to walk. The dog stared up at her with solemn quiet and expressive eyes, it was almost as if Nocht knew something was wrong with Maeve and she only wanted to protect her. Feeling a wave of sadness crash into Maeve sucked in a deep breath and forced a smile onto her face.

“C’mon girl, let’s get home.” Maeve said softly before walking across the street to the nearest subway station that would be able to take her back to the office so she could grab her things. She knew that Mayor Brooker wouldn’t be upset if she took the rest of the day off, especially when she would explain to him what happened this afternoon. She was lucky that Mayor Brooker was so understanding when it came to her taking time off, he always praised her for her work as it was and the fact that she worked through her soulmate predicament as much as she physically could was a benefit for her when she requested time off.

*-*-*-*

The next morning Maeve laid in bed blinking sleepily as the sun began to cascade into her bedroom window through her partially opened blinds. She groaned softly as she raised her hands to her face and scrubbed the sleep from her eyes. Rolling in the bed she huffed as she rolled on top of Nocht and got a mouthful of fur and a loud thumping tail on the bed. Grinning softly at her constant company Maeve wrapped her arms around Nocht and pulled her close as the dog huffed and then made a warm grumbling noise. 

“What do you want to do today girl? Wanna go outside for the day?” Maeve asked sleepily as she snuggled closer to Nocht. Breathing in deep she realized how glad she was to request the day off. She hadn’t gotten much sleep last night after the aftermath of her meeting with James. And she knew she would be miserable if she had to go into the office today, she was still processing the fact that she had a soulmate who didn’t want her. The way James had told her that he wanted to stay on the path that he made for himself she couldn’t fault or deny him that, but the way he had told her that he wanted to possibly see if it could work later on in life upset her. 

For all the pain she had gone through and the doctor and hospital visits she felt that she deserved at least something more than a maybe. If it wasn’t a yes then a no would do just fine too, at least she would be able to move on from him and not feel as if she was in a limbo. Sighing Maeve shifted in bed making Nocht grumble against her as she buried her head in the covers.

“C’mon girl. Let’s go for a walk.” Maeve said warmly as she unwrapped from Nocht and rolled out of bed.

*-*-*-*

The next day at her desk Maeve groaned low in her throat as she saw another email from a reporter of NY Times pop up in her inbox. It had been like this all morning and now as the hours creeped into the afternoon it wasn’t abating at all. Sighing softly Maeve opened the email and quickly scanned over it before pulling up her word document that held her blanket no comment statement. She easily copied it into a response email and sent that off before looking down at Nocht quietly. 

Just as she was going to speak to the dog a searing pain erupted in her lower stomach and she hunched over in her chair as the pain raced up her body. Taking in a deep breath she slowly it out through her mouth trying to calm herself down as the pain just erupted inside of her. Maeve slammed her eyes closed as she whimpered softly and blindly reached out across her desk over to her desk drawer where she quickly fished out her medication.

Barely able to rise from her hunched position she shook a single pill out of the bottle onto her desk before slipping it into her clenched mouth. She grabbed her water bottle from her desk and gulped down some water feeling the pill slide down her throat slowly. When she felt that the pill was finally down she breathed out slowly through her mouth feeling the pain begin to fade away from her. Rising to a sitting position in her chair Maeve was grateful for the strong medication that her doctor had prescribed her. She huffed softly as she reminded once more that she had this soulmate connection that wouldn’t ever amount to anything besides pain. 

Letting her head fall back Maeve shut her eyes as tears began to prick at the edges. She took a few deep calming breaths as she heard Nocht whimper softly and the feeling of her heavy head settled on Maeve’s lap. Carding her fingers through Nocht’s fur Maeve could feel herself grounding and calming down slowly.

“Thanks girl.” she whispered to Nocht not wanting to speak too loud. Maeve sat there for a moment in the quiet of her office with Nocht pressed up against her just feeling defeated as the pain completely faded from her body. As she sat there Maeve started to hear a distant chanting coming from outside, furrowing her eyebrows she tapped Nocht’s side to alert her that she was standing up before actually doing so and walking to the windows in her office. She peered out of them and noticed the group of people dressed in amber and gold colored clothing holding signs up as they chanted and walked down the street.

Tilting her head to the side Maeve wondered what they were protesting. She watched as the group continued down the street before she was able to make out what was written on one of the signs. Take back your connection! Read one of the signs with a website by the same name written underneath it. Standing at her window Maeve watched as the group traveled down the street until they turned a corner and were now out of sight before she turned and walked back to her desk.

She quietly opened up a search engine and typed in the website, while she waited for the website to load her desk phone rang loudly. Picking it up after a quick glance at the caller I.D. she pressed it to her ear as she smiled softly.

“Yes my dear?” she asked softly and Veronica chuckled softly into her ear. 

“Your favorite delivery guy dropped off your food. Do you want to have lunch together?” Veronica asked kindly.

“Yeah that’d be great, did you order out too? Do you want to order anything for you?” Maeve asked thoughtfully but Veronica declined.

“No, I already have my lunch. I’ll be right up.” Veronica said before hanging up and Maeve hung her phone up as well. She then turned back to the computer screen, the webpage was professionally done with a soft amber glow and black and white lettering so that it stood out and easily readable. Maeve’s eyes danced around the webpage reading the history or the group.

The group was founded by two best friends Dylan Yatsko and Cheryl Easter who grew up believing that their soulmates were supposed to be the one person who would make their world better. But Dylan was assigned to a woman who was emotionally and physically abusive and Cheryl was assigned to a man who only wanted her for the prestige that she would bring to their relationship and not actually for her as a person. The two kept in contact and as they heard about the others’ struggles with their soulmate they rebelled against the idea of being assigned to someone.

Dylan and Cheryl successfully disconnected from their soulmate completely and have made a life for themselves with each other. They have supported others who have found that they are not compatible with their assigned soulmates. They have also helped spread the knowledge that being assigned a soulmate is not a permanent thing. Maeve avidly read everything that was listed on the website and was just clicking onto another page of information about disconnecting the soulmate connection when there was a knock at her door.

“C’mon in V.” Maeve said distractedly as she continued to read the information on the website.

“Well hi there lady. What are you reading?” Veronica asked as she walked around Maeve’s desk. “Are you considering disconnecting from Barnes?” Veronica asked seriously as she whipped her head to stare at Maeve. Maeve was thankful that she had called Veronica yesterday to talk about what had happened with James so that she wouldn’t have to worry about talking about it again today and reliving it.

“I don’t know, I’m curious about it. I just heard them chanting outside on the street before.” Maeve informed her and Veronica nodded her head at Maeve’s words.

“Yeah they’re a nice group, very easy going and laid back. I think their mission is more to spread the information that a soulmate connection doesn’t have to be permanent.” Veronica said knowingly as she nodded her head. “We’ve never had a problem with them and their rallies.”

“Do they hold a lot of rallies?” Maeve asked curiously as she looked up at Veronica. Veronica looked down at her quietly for a moment before gesturing to the table where they normally ate.

“Come have a seat and let’s talk over lunch.” Veronica said solemnly and Maeve nodded her head as she stood from her desk and readied Nocht’s food first before walking over to the table to sit with Veronica. “So are you seriously thinking about disconnecting?” Veronica asked softly before she took a bite of her sandwich.

“I didn’t actually know that was a possibility until just now to be honest. My mother and grandmother never told me that this was a thing. I was always told to bear through the pain because the connection was worth it when I found my soulmate.” Maeve told Veronica who nodded her head along with her words.

“Me too. My mom was big on the it’s all worth it train too. I can’t imagine the pain you went through though and so constantly after knowing who your soulmate is now. I don’t agree with him just tossing you away, all because he’s made a new life for himself.” Veronica said seriously as she shook her head after speaking. “Does he know the full extent of what you’ve gone through?”

“I’ve told him that I’ve suffered through some serious pain because of the connection and that I’ve had to go to the hospital for it. I also told him that I have medication that makes it bearable. But I don’t think it’s sunk in or if it ever will, he’s set on denying the connection for now but he wants to keep his options open.” Maeve said bitterly as her lips twisted into a pout at the idea that she would have to still go through the pain without having James in her life. It was a blow to her soul that he didn’t want her right now but he thought maybe later on he’d want her.

“That’s ridiculous.” Veronica snapped angrily on Maeve’s behalf.

“I agree, I’d rather just completely shut the door on the relationship than leave it open and have to wait for him to make up his mind.” Maeve agreed as she nodded her head at Veronica.

“So then shut the door Maeve. You don’t have the time to wait on him, nor should you have to wait when he’s rejected you three times now. It’s your life that’s being put on hold not his, he’s still living the life he wants yet you’re supposed to wait and see if he wants to accept you finally? I wouldn’t let him have that power over my life if I were you.” Veronica said passionately as she stared straight into Maeve’s eyes. “You’ve gone through all of this pain and suffering all because of your connection to him and now he’s rejecting it? His loss. Absolutely his loss. If you want to explore your options with this disconnect I’ll be there for you. I have a family member who went through the disconnect because his soulmate was like Bucky. She didn’t want a soulmate and preferred to casually date others. He’s now happily married to a lovely woman who is his whole world and vice versa. They’re actually expecting their first child together now. I can introduce you to him so you can talk to him about it if you want.” Veronica offered.

Maeve sat there feeling so loved and supported by Veronica that she got up from her seat and moved to her side to give her a hug. Veronica quickly stood and wrapped Maeve in a tight hug. Maeve could feel the tears forming in her eyes and she buried her head in Veronica’s shoulder as the woman rubbed her back letting her cry on her shoulder.

“I will be with you every step of the way. You’ve been such a wonderful supportive friend to me and it’s now my turn to help you. Anyway I can, I will help you.” Veronica promised softly. The two of them stayed like that for a few moments and Maeve felt as if it was a turning point for her as she gathered the support of her friend to move forward with disentangling herself from a soulmate who didn’t want her.

*-*-*-*

Maeve picked at the sleeve or her sweater as she sat at the dining room table in her mother’s house. Her grandmother sat across from her at the table while her mother sat next to her at the head of the table. Nocht pressed into Maeve’s lower leg in a gesture of comfort that Maeve was grateful for how intuitive her companion was.

“What do you mean that you’re looking into disconnecting from your soulmate? That’s not possible.” her mother said confused before she picked up her tea cup to take a sip of her tea.

“It is possible. I’ve been researching it and I’ve found a doctor who practices it. He’s been able to successfully disconnect multiple people from their soulmates after they find themselves assigned to someone that they’re not compatible with.” Maeve said confidently as she sat at the table still picking nervously at her sweater. She was hoping that her mother and grandmother would understand her situation and her need to disconnect from James.

“No, absolutely not.” her grandmother spoke suddenly and Maeve darted her eyes over to the stoic woman across the table.

“I’m not looking for your permission, it’s my body and my connection. I came here looking for understanding from the both of you and acceptance of me without a soulmate connection.” Maeve said firmly as she frowned at her grandmother.

“You can not do this Maeve!” snapped her grandmother as she glared at Maeve over the table. “You’ve got the medication to make it bearable and Nocht is by your side all the time. That should be enough!” she insisted and Maeve shook her head.

“He’s rejected me three times now. Do you know how that feels? It’s shattering to be assigned to a man who does not want you. Not to mention all the time the two of you told me to bear through the pain because it would be worth it only to find out that it’s not worth it.” Maeve said firmly and her grandmother shook her head.

“He can come around.” she insisted and Maeve just shook her head at her grandmother’s words.

“He’s not going to. He’s happy with his life and how it is. He doesn’t want a soulmate.” Maeve argued and her grandmother frowned harshly at her. “I would bear it if he was able to commit to something with me grandma. But he said he doesn’t want a soulmate right now and I don’t have time to wait around for him. I shouldn’t have to wait around for him.” Maeve insisted and her grandmother leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, obviously you know that we don’t agree with this. But you’re correct that it’s your body.” her mother said as she tried to ease the tension that seemed to be rising in the room between Maeve and her grandmother.

“You’re no granddaughter of mine. And your mother would be a fool to still accept you as her daughter.” her grandmother said stonily causing both Maeve and her mother to gasp and whip their heads to stare at her.

“Mom!” her mother cried out in shock. “How can you say that?!” 

“It’s true! She is no granddaughter of mine if she’s going to just throw away her soulmate because he rejected her! Kauffman women do not run away from pain! We plant our feet and endure it! She is not a Kauffman! You don’t deserve that last name!” shouted her grandmother angrily as she stood from her chair in a rush. Maeve felt her heart crack in her chest as her grandmother stormed out of the dining room in a huff.

“I’m so sorry Maeve. I don’t think now is a good time to talk about this as it’s upsetting your grandmother.” her mother stated as she stood from her chair as well. She gripped the back of the chair and looked over at Maeve for a second before looking over her shoulder to where her grandmother disappeared. Maeve knew that her mother would be siding with her grandmother but she had hoped that they’d understand her issue.

“I’m going through with the disconnection in a week. I was hoping to have the support of my mother.” Maeve said feeling lost as her emotions and feelings began to swell inside of her like a tidal wave.

“I’m sorry Maeve, please think it over carefully. Maybe find another solution.” her mother said distractedly. “I have to go see your grandmother. I’m so sorry.” she said before rushing towards the doorway.

“I’m not coming back Mom.” Maeve said softly as she sat there staring at her mother’s back. Her mother stood there at the doorway with her hand on the door jam. “Grandmother doesn’t accept me doing this and by default neither do you. I hoped you’d both understand since you both went through the pain. I accept your choice. Tell Dad and Grandfather I love them.” Maeve stated to her mother’s back before rising from her chair. She grabbed onto Nocht’s leash and her keys before quietly walking out of her childhood home that no longer felt like home.

As she drove slowly away from her Mother’s residence Maeve let the tears cascade down her face. She had not only been rejected by her soulmate because she didn’t fit into his new life, she had now been rejected by her grandmother and mother because of the choice she was making. The crack in her heart widened and it soon shattered into a million pieces once again under the gravity of rejection. It wasn’t until Maeve had parked her car in the apartment parking garage three hours later that her tears finally stopped.

*-*-*-*

Maeve laid on the operating room table staring up at the tiled ceiling with the large spotlight lamps. Veronica was waiting for her in her hospital room with Nocht and Maeve slowly let out a breath to ease her anxiety with that knowledge. Someone was waiting for her on the other side of this ordeal. She was grateful for her friend being there for her and supporting her as her emotions rolled through her like she was on a rollercoaster. Her mother and grandmother hadn’t reached out to her since she visited them at their house two weeks ago, and while that was devastating to her she had found that she was able to endure that pain just like the pain she had endured for all those years ever since she was assigned to James.

Just then there was a commotion over the operating doors and Maeve turned her head to see Cheryl and David at the doors waving at her. Maeve felt tears pool in her eyes as she grinned over at them, the two people who had become such inspirations and a solid foundation for her to fall back on. Ever since her talk with Veronica about disconnecting, Maeve had set off on the journey of joining Cheryl and Dylan’s community. It hadn’t been long after she had shared her story with Cheryl and Dylan that they welcomed her into their community. They helped and supported her in choosing a doctor to disconnect her soulmate connection and she was so grateful that they had shown up for her operation.

“We’ll be waiting for you in your room once you’re done. Everything will be okay, don’t worry. We got you girl!” called Cheryl happily as she waved from just behind Dylan. Dylan was smiling at her with sparkling happy eyes as he watched the medical staff prepare around her.

“I’m so happy for you Maeve. Can’t wait to see you on the other side.” Dylan said proudly and Maeve nodded her head at them before they disappeared out the doors.

“Alright Miss Úrnua, are you ready to begin this new chapter of your life?” asked Doctor McKenzie using Maeve’s new last name. Maeve smiled softly at him as the anesthesiologist stepped up to the side of her head and smiled down at her comfortingly.

There were two different forms of soulmates, platonic and romantic. The platonic soulmates in life were assigned at birth and often people had multiple platonic soulmates that were found when each person touched and a soft bright blue glow that emanated from their chests. The bond between the platonic soulmates felt like a warm fluffy blanket wrapped around your body when they were near that would intensify in warmth the closer they were to each other.

Romantic soulmates were different, at the age of eighteen everyone is assigned a romantic soulmate that they share a connection with that alerts them to when their soulmate is in danger. The intensity of the connection depends on how much danger the soulmate is in. Sometimes the intensity can be too much for one person to handle and the medical field has spent years discovering ways to dampen the intensity based on each clinical case.

Most people viewed finding their soulmates as something to be celebrated, whether it was in a romantic sense or not. Parties were normally thrown for the finding of a soulmate and some of the parties were outlandish in size while others were just small get-togethers of loved ones to celebrate the soulmate bond.

Often stories of finding soulmates were romanticized in the retelling of it. For when a soulmate is found it’s through touch and a soft glow will emanate from their chests in either a soft bright blue glow for platonic soulmates or a soft bright amber glow for romantic soulmates. Most stories tell about an opportunistic meeting when neither soulmate is paying attention until a soft touch grazes against each other and the glow catches their attention. Or a soulmate is caught in the arms of another from a fall and the glow is shared between the two.

But there was a select few that viewed the soulmate assignment as something that was thrust upon them without a choice, for them they felt as if their right of choosing for themselves who was their soulmate was taken away from them. A community was formed for those that were against the soulmate bond and while it is only a select few who are in this community it is such a tight knit group that looks out for each other in every sense. The group would hold peaceful rallies to bring about more awareness that soulmates weren’t mandated and that there were others who didn’t agree with the soulmate assignment.

Maeve “Twitch” Kauffman was firmly in the middle of the great soulmate assignment debate. When Maeve was growing up she heard the stories of the soulmate connection from both her mother and grandmother. The two women were proud to share with Maeve the story of when they turned eighteen and began to feel the connection whenever their soulmate was in danger. For her grandmother she felt the connection more often because Grandpa Collin was working in the construction business that built the tall skyscrapers that overcrowded New York. He was constantly in danger since he was the one walking along the steel supports at nauseating heights. Her grandmother proudly told her how she would often feel an almost constant tightening in her body whenever he worked and the tightening would either grow or dissipate depending on the work he did during the day. She would often tell Maeve that the Kauffman family made strong resilient women to have to deal with their soulmate since their connection was usually overtly tested with high severity of danger.

For her mother the moment she turned eighteen the connection was ever more severe than her grandmother’s because her father had joined the army as soon as he was able to. Her mother’s connection was a steady cramping that would get worse whenever her father was in active combat, the connection became too much for her mother when her father’s base had been bombed by the fighting enemy. That time her mother had been ordered to bedrest to try and ease the connection with hot and cold compresses laid over her body.

While both women had been assigned soulmates who were often in danger they both powered through it knowing that meeting their soulmate would be rewarding. They knew that their suffering was going to be for a love that would be greater than the suffering.

Maeve on the other hand didn’t believe that her soulmate was going to be worth all the suffering that she has gone through. You see, as soon as Maeve blew out the candles on her birthday cake at the exact hour that she was born her legs gave out and a scream erupted from her throat as immeasurable pain seized her body. Everyone had panicked when they saw Maeve drop to the floor screaming in pain and her parents had rushed to her while her grandparents had ushered everyone out of the house saying the party was over.

After being rushed to the hospital the doctors were only able to advise that the soulmate connection was the cause of it and that the only thing that they could do for Maeve was give her sedative to try and ease the connection so that it was manageable.

Soon after that hospital visit Maeve was quickly placed on medication that lessened the connection of her soulmate when they found that her soulmate was relentlessly in danger. For the first four years after her eighteenth birthday Maeve was constantly in a state of pain due to her soulmate connection, it intensified and reduced in odd intervals and often it would be relentless with the intensity. During those years Maeve would have countless doctor appointments, she was given a standing prescription of medication to help ease it as much as it could and she was assigned a German Shepherd service dog, that was able to detect when her soulmate connection would escalate, that she named Nocht.

All while she was suffering from her soulmate connection Maeve was able to go to college for public relations and received a degree while attending in person school and virtual school when the connection became too much to handle. It was a proud moment for her to be able to walk across the stage with Nocht at her side and her family in the audience watching. But that proud moment was quickly taken away from her when she reached the end of the stage and turned to her parents and grandparents with a wide grin only to watch as her grandmother and father disintegrated into nothing. Screams rang through the air as others disintegrated and chaos overcame everything.

It wasn’t until later that night when she, her mother and her grandfather were watching the news that they learned of “the Snap”. It had been at that time that Maeve realized that she hadn’t felt the soulmate connection since before when she was walking across the stage at her graduation. She had then curled up on the couch with her mother, grandfather and Nocht curled up in her lap as much as he could be.

Those five years of the snap had given Maeve such a reprieve from the soulmate connection. She had started working for the Mayor of New York as his public relations specialist and had quickly become a sought out professional in her field. Her work had quickly consumed her life that when the day the Snap had ended she was caught surprised when her body flooded with pain. Nocht had rushed to her side as she fell to the floor on her knees gasping for air. One of her coworkers had been able to help her get her medicine so that she could take it.

That was how Maeve learned that her soulmate was back. Her world had once again been thrown into chaos as she had to relearn how to live her life with the soulmate connection. Thankfully the connection wasn’t constant anymore but it still managed to ebb and flow in intensity warranting her to keep her medicine and Nocht at her side.

         “So Joaquin should be here shortly with the supplies you requested. We just have to wait it out.” Sam advised as he followed Maeve in while shutting and locking the door. Maeve nodded as she waited for Sam in the hallway, when he joined her he gestured down the hallway before walking ahead. “Let me show you around.”

         Maeve followed Sam through the hallway until they came to the small kitchen that was lit up by fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling. There’s a small square table with two chairs that looks like it’s a few decades old that has an unidentifiable stain on it. “We’ll supply groceries for however long you’re here. You’ll be spending your time here while we make sure that the resistance group is taken down.” Sam said as Bucky entered the kitchen to lean against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. Sam then guides you through the doorway past Bucky who silently watches the two of you, his eyes trailing Maeve as she keeps a larger distance to him.

         “So there’s a small living room area, t.v. with a dvd player, there’s no streaming services but cable t.v. is available. Small bathroom with a shower is right down here and then there’s two bedrooms opposite each other here.” Sam says as he concludes the tour with the three of them standing in a simple bedroom with a queen sized bed. Nocht huffs softly and Maeve chuckles softly as she ruffles her fur.

         “This will be just fine. It’s not like I’m going to be leaving right?” Maeve asks curiously.

         “No, we’re going to keep you here until we’re sure that the group is taken care of. We’ll probably keep one of us here with you just to be on the safe side.” Sam said reassuringly and Maeve nodded her head at his words.

         The silence grew between the two of them and Maeve knew he wanted to ask about her disconnect with Bucky. But after everything that had happened today Maeve wasn’t in a particularly sharing mood, not to mention she was still getting used to being disconnected. Seeing Bucky today had been a shock and had definitely upset her emotional balance that she had achieved so far. Sitting down suddenly on the bed Maeve suddenly felt the exhaustion and stress hit her, Nocht whined softly before she hopped up onto the bed and curled up against Maeve’s side.

         “I’ll give you some time to try and relax and settle in. Once Joaquin gets here we’ll meet up to make a plan of who’s going to be staying with you.” Sam said and Maeve nodded her head as she felt tears sting her eyes. Her emotions were suddenly now pouring into her after being pushed back when she had to react and act against the situation this afternoon.

         “Sure thing Sam.” She said softly before turning her face into Nocht’s fur and breathing in slowly. The bedroom door quietly shut behind Sam and Maeve breathed out shakily. “

*-*-*-*

There’s commotion down the hallway and Maeve rolls on her bed to stare at her bedroom door before completely rolling off the bed. She walks to the door and opens it swiftly only to be met with Bucky standing in the doorway with his closed fist raised to knock on the door. He startles slightly and looks down at her silently before slowly lowering his fist. His eyes dance around her face as she stares up at him just as silent, she can’t tell what he’s thinking but the way he stares at her has her unsettled.

“Joaquin’s here.” he says solemnly and Maeve nods her head before he suddenly turns from her and walks down the hallway towards the kitchen. Nocht hops off the bed and follows Maeve from the room down the hallway, once they reach the doorway Maeve smiles softly as she sees Joaquin placing the bags of groceries and clothing on the small table while Sam digs through them and jokes with him. Bucky is silently sitting in one of the table chairs with his arms over his chest once again.

“Okay! So I was able to pick up almost everything that you asked for. The store ran out of two percent milk so I could only get whole milk. And I wasn’t sure what type of sweats you liked so I bought a bunch of different types, there’s shorts and pants, t-shirts, tank tops, underwear and sports bras. I didn’t feel confident enough buying regular bras.” Joaquin told her and Sam burst out laughing while Bucky stared at Joaquin like he had three heads.

Walking over to Joaquin Maeve placed a hand on his shoulder as she smiled brightly up at him. He blushed softly as Sam still laughed next to him. Maeve was standing to the side of the Bucky as she faced Joaquin trying to reassure him softly.

“You did great. Thank you so much.” she said kindly to him with a bright smile on her face. She then took the grocery bags and moved them closer to the refrigerator and began unpacking them. Sam took the seat across from Bucky and watched as Maeve put the groceries away where she would easily be able to get to them.

“Alright so I think we need to figure out the rotation for the three of us to stay here with Maeve and Nocht.” Sam informed them all as he rested his elbows on his knees. Maeve looked over her shoulder as she pulled out more items out of the shopping bags.

“I’m alright to start first watch and let the two of you go and see if you can get a lead on the resistance group.” Joaquin offered.

“No, I’ll stay with Maeve.” Bucky spoke up and Maeve’s eyes snapped over to him. Bucky wasn’t looking at her though as he stared quietly at Sam with his lips pressed into a straight line. “I won’t need a change out either. They went after Maeve because of who she works for. And they probably know that she was my soulmate because of all the tabloids and newspapers.” Bucky began to reason from his seat. “They know my face, they know I’m connected to her. They’ll recognize me easier than you or Joaquin out in the field. It’s better if I stay here with her.”

Sam looks over at Maeve who’s standing at the counter watching the three of them with a quiet look on her face before turning back to the groceries again. He notices that she hasn’t said anything about Bucky staying with her and he wonders how she feels about it all.

“Maeve, what do you think?” Sam asks suddenly and Bucky frowns at him from across the table. Maeve turns to face the three of them as Joaquin turns to face her as well, Bucky doesn’t look over at her at all.

“I’m putting my trust in you guys to make sure that me and Nocht are safe. Whatever you guys think is best is fine by me. I don’t know anything about this group and I don’t have resources to help so you’re the experts.” she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Will you be okay if Bucky stays here with you?” Sam asks gently and Maeve nods her head at him in response.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” she says, nodding her head.

“Are you sure?” Sam asks, wanting to make sure.

“Sam stop dancing around the elephant in the room.” Maeve says irritated now. “I disconnected from James, I’m no longer his soulmate. I’ve only started speaking about the disconnect this rally so not many know about it. James is right they’ll all still think that we’re connected and if they know what he looks like he’ll be easier to spot.” Maeve reasons and Sam nods his head.

“Why did you disconnect?” Bucky asks softly in a low tone that has Sam’s hackles rising. He knows when Bucky gets quiet like this that he’s itching for a fight and he doesn’t want Maeve to be even more stressed than she is.

“Bucky.” Sam warns softly and Bucky snaps his head to glare at Sam.

“No, I wanna know! The soulmate connection has two people involved! She shouldn’t be able to just disconnect it without talking to me about it?!” he snapped angrily. Sam held his hands up to try and ease Bucky’s sudden anger but suddenly there was a loud scoffing sound from the other side of the room.

“Oh, you mean like when you unilaterally decided that you didn’t want a soulmate?” Maeve sneered at Bucky as she now stood in the middle of the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest. “Look, I gave you what you wanted! You didn’t want a soulmate, now you don’t have a soulmate.” Maeve snapped angrily and Sam looked back at Bucky to see the man silently seething in his chair as his metal hand gripped the table bending the metal of it under his grip.

“I told you that we could see later on if we worked out!” Bucky hissed through gritted teeth.

“How long would that have been?! Huh!? What am I supposed to do in the meantime! Wait for you?! Are you insane!?” Maeve snapped angrily as her eyes sparkled with fury and anger. “So because you like your life and want to continue making amends I’m supposed to just put part of my life on hold and wait around for you? You couldn’t even commit to wanting to try later on down the line. If I remember your exact words were maybe.” Maeve argued angrily.

“Because I don’t deserve a soulmate! How could I commit to that when I don’t deserve one!” Bucky snapped, surprising Sam and Joaquin as they whipped their heads back to stare at Bucky silently.

People are chatting happily together either in groups or pairs as they all enjoy the sun and companionship. Bucky frowns softly as his mind focuses on the relationships between each of the passing people. He can see the soft blue and amber glows in each of their chests; he presses his fist into his own chest as it begins to ache almost in protest. He sits up now as his lazy mood begins to sour. Spotting a group of young teenage girls sitting together on a brightly colored with text books, notebooks, and magazines spread out around them.

From his spot on the rocks Bucky could see over the girls’ shoulders as they talked and gossiped. He spied one of the girls flipping through a magazine and almost fell off the rocks when he saw a large blown up picture of himself scowling with a clipped smaller photo of Maeve next to it. He watched as the girl eagerly turned the magazine around to be able to show the other girls the magazine article.

“Oh my gosh did you hear about Bucky Barnes and his soulmate?” she asked in a slight shriek to her friends. Bucky grimaced as he watched the girls all perk up and begin to talk in hushed tones. While he could still make out their conversation Bucky chose to ignore them as they all speculated on why he and Maeve weren’t together now that he’d found her. Bucky’s eyes darted to the other magazines spread out on the blanket and noticed that almost all of the other magazines that the girls have on their blanket have covers with his picture of Maeve’s picture on them. There’s even one cover that shows the day of the Mayor’s conference where Maeve is looking up at Bucky and he’s looking away from her.

Bucky sighs and stealthily rolls off the rocks on the opposite side of the girls. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself since they were gossiping about him and his soulmate. Frowning Bucky shoved his hands into his leather jacket pockets and wondered when he had started thinking of Maeve as his soulmate. He knew logically that she was his soulmate, after their connection manifesting at the coffee shop he couldn’t deny it outrightly but he hadn’t been referring to her as his soulmate when it was just him. So he wondered when things had changed and why had they changed enough for him to consider her in that role.

Walking through the aisles of the farmer’s market Bucky kept his head down but his eyes kept darting from one stall to the next. As he was passing his favorite fruit stall he waved at the seller Mrs. Zou, she smiled and waved back to him before her eyes darted back to the newspaper she was reading. Bucky’s eyes widened slightly as he spotted a black and white photo of himself and Maeve at the conference yet again.

Gritting his teeth Bucky turned and was met with a newsstand that held magazines and newspapers of all kinds. Bucky stopped short in front of it as his eyes picked out multiple magazine covers that had his picture on them and some newspapers as well had his face plastered all over them. Bucky grunted softly as he noticed the young man working at the newstand staring at Bucky with recognition shining through. He quickly turned on his heel and walked swiftly away from the farmer’s market with a bitter taste on his tongue.

As he left the park area that held the farmer’s market he wondered if this was how Maeve felt when the reporters harassed her for a comment on their relationship. He curiously wondered if Maeve was still being bombarded by reporters to speak about her soulmate connection. As he’s stepping up to the corner to cross the busy city street Bucky feels a slight twinge of guilt settle in his stomach heavily. He was Maeve’s soulmate and he had been rejecting her ever since he’d found out, would it be different if he had accepted her and the connection that they now shared?

Bucky started crossing the street and his mind was racing with thoughts of Maeve and the connection they shared. His mind brought him back to the conference yet again, there was something that had been bothering him about the conference that he hadn’t been able to figure out. It was that moment of searing pain that Bucky had felt when the gunman had begun to shoot at the stage. Bucky hadn’t been able to figure out why he felt that pain if the gunman had never even pointed his gun at him.

Suddenly while he was in the middle of the crosswalk his thoughts shifted and he remembered Maeve standing in front of him at his apartment door telling him that she had gone through so much pain because of their connection. Bucky instantly realized that the severe pain he had felt was from the connection because of Maeve being in danger at the conference. Bucky once again stopped short as realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He stood there sucking in air at the thought that Maeve had felt that pain ever since she had turned of age. No wonder Maeve had been eager to further their connection, the poor woman had been in such pain since she was a teenager.

A loud blaring car horn pulled Bucky out of his thoughts as his head whipped to the side to see an angry taxi driver laying on his horn as his other hand gestured out his car window for Bucky to move. Bucky nodded his head and turned to continue walking through the crosswalk.

Once he was on the other side of the street Bucky pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up the text thread that he had for Maeve. He sighed softly at all the unanswered texts that she sent him as he began to type out a message on the keyboard. He quickly sent off his text asking if she’s free later this afternoon to meet up with him. He put in the text that he wanted to talk to her about their soulmate connection. Not expecting a response so quickly Bucky slipped his cell phone into his pocket and began walking again towards his apartment.

As he was walking Bucky passed his favorite pizza place and slipped inside to order a pie for himself to take home. He stood at the counter relaying his order to Joey Jr., who was back home from college for a little bit, when he heard the television news reporter on the tv in the corner of the place.

“And now we tune into Mayor Brooker’s latest press conference about the displacement relief fund and plans. He’s accompanied by his public relations administrative assistant Maeve Kauffman, you can see her there at the side of the stage with the numerous bodyguards. Security for these conferences have been escalated due to the last conference where a shooting occurred.” relayed the news reporter as she smiled at the camera before the screen of the conference took over the screen.

Bucky turned and watched the footage of the conference silently, his eyes darted over to Maeve and he could instantly tell how tired she must be feeling. Her shoulders were slightly slumped and while her eyes had a slight shadow under them her makeup covered it up well enough that you couldn’t tell unless you looked hard. She stood there in between two bodyguards and her constant companion German Shepherd was sitting at her feet protectively. Bucky watched as Maeve smiled warmly and clapped as Mayor Brooker concluded the conference on a good note.

He could see the relief of the conference ending just ooze out of Maeve’s body as she began to walk behind the stage. While the camera focused more on the Mayor, Bucky watched as in the background Maeve was approached by a small group of reporters and she quickly held her hand up to stop them. She quickly got rid of them and Bucky watched impressed as they all left her alone and she was able to leave the conference room.

He then looked away from the television and saw Joey Jr. watching him with a smirk on his face. The younger man wiggled his eyebrows at Bucky making him scoff at the man’s actions.

“You know for a soulmate she ain’t half bad.” he said teasingly and Bucky shook his head as he leaned against the counter with his forearms on the glass case.

“It’s not about her. And you know that, outta everyone here you know that better than anyone.” Bucky said softly and Joey frowned softly as he nodded his head. Joey had been an unusual confidant that Bucky found himself very grateful for, the young man was going to college to get a degree in psychology so that he could become a therapist. Bucky had confided in him on more than one occasion when his government appointed therapist wasn’t working well with him.

“Have you talked to her about it?” Joey asked softly. Bucky looked up and saw the concern in Joey’s eyes and he felt a slight comforting warmth knowing that Joey cared about him.

“I sent her a text to meet up later today. I plan on talking to her about it then if she’s free.” Bucky said as he held up his phone in one hand and shook it gently. Joey nodded his head before the cell phone pinged with a new text. Bucky jumped slightly in shock before looking down at the phone in his hand. He saw that Maeve had answered his text and he quickly pulled the text up to see what she had said.

I can meet you for lunch somewhere if you’d like. Bucky nodded his head before looking up at Joey in slight uncertainty.

“I can always just put the pizza you ordered on the display. No big deal.” Joey said knowingly and Bucky nodded his head gratefully at his friend.

“I appreciate it.” Bucky responded in relief. “I owe you one.” he said as he looked back down at his phone before he began typing out a response.

Wanna meet up in Central Park? We can walk and talk before grabbing lunch? Bucky worried that he wouldn’t be able to talk with her so that’s why he offered to talk first before grabbing lunch.

Yeah that sounds fine. I’ll meet you at the 110th entrance in 15 mins. Bucky sighs softly before he nods his head at the phone. He hears Joey clear his throat and he looks up to see Joey watching him quietly.

“She agreed to meet?” he asks hopefully and Bucky nods his head stoically.

“I’m gonna go meet her at Central Park. I gotta get going. I’ll come by later tonight to update you.” Bucky said as he hit the glass counter with a lightness filling his body. Joey nodded his head at Bucky before Bucky quickly left the store. He made his way eagerly onto the sidewalk and towards the nearest subway station. He was going to finally tell Maeve exactly how he felt about this soulmate connection and clear the air with her.

*-*-*-*

Bucky leaned against the stone entrance way for Central Park with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the people entering and leaving the park. There weren’t many people out today and he was thankful for that as he waited for Maeve. Just then he spotted her walking across the street holding onto her dog’s leash as it walked next to her looking around them happily.

He stood straight as Maeve approached him and she smiled softly at him. The awkward tension was thick between the two of them and Bucky felt a little guilty for that. But then Maeve took a deep breath and smiled warmly up at him and Bucky was reminded of how pretty she was. Her face though tired looking was open and accepting as she looked up at him. Her eyes danced around his face giving him her full attention. Bucky gestured with his hand for her to take the lead in walking as he felt himself being tugged closer to her by a different kind of pull. It wasn’t anything like the lead up to their dangerous situations, this was something more physical.

It was like the feeling he would feel when he dated Dottie all those years ago or that date that Yuri had talked him into. The magnetic pull of chemistry was slowly taking a hold of him as he stood in front of Maeve. Shaking his head Bucky jerked backwards slightly and looked towards the park waiting for her to start walking.

Maeve nodded her head and began to lead her dog down the sidewalk with Bucky walking next to her with a bit of space between the two of them. At first Bucky looked around at the scenery as the two of them walked along the sidewalk, his attention caught onto a fluttering leaf as it danced along the asphalt at their feet. They walked in silence as Bucky tried to gather his thoughts, Maeve he noticed walked beside him quietly staring down at the asphalt being patient with him.

“Have the reporters been bothering you lately? I saw you at the conference today, it looks like they were still trying to get your comment.” Bucky said softly and Maeve looked over at him with a slight pout on her face.

“Oh, yeah.” she said as if she had just remembered what he was talking about. “They’ve been calling and emailing me for a comment for their articles. I sent out a blanket statement to all of the magazines and newspapers. But that doesn’t seem to stop them.” Maeve said with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’m used to pushy reporters though.”

“But you shouldn’t have to deal with that. Especially over a soulmate connection.” Bucky insisted softly and he watched as Maeve tilted her head from side to side as she thought.

“Yes, but you’re a super soldier who has found his soulmate. That’s news worthy, everyone loves a good story about the hero finding his match.” Maeve said with an air of whimsy. Bucky chuckled softly as he watched Maeve smile and gesture with her hands to imitate two people finding each other.

“I don’t understand why it’s a good story for them. I mean I’m just trying to live my life after everything that’s happened. I just want life to be normal and quiet.” he confesses and Maeve looks at him with an amused look on her face.

“James, your life will never be normal. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You’re a super soldier and have saved countless lives, you’ve done good for the world. I appreciate every effort you’ve put in to keep people safe.” Maeve said firmly and confidently as she looked at him shrewdly. Bucky was taken aback by the use of his first name and by the fire that Maeve held in her eyes as she spoke to him. Shaking his head he silently disagreed with her as the two of them continued walking. The two of them took the path that would lead them past the 110th playground and Bucky found himself watching people as they walked together.

“I don’t deserve that.” Bucky said softly and Maeve looked over at him with a furrowed brow. Taking a deep breath in, he turned to look at Maeve stoically before he spoke what was in his mind. “I’m a super soldier who used to be an assassin. I don’t deserve any praise or gratitude. For every person I’ve saved I’ve killed two more.” he explained solemnly as he sighed softly.

Walking over to a bench Bucky took a seat and gestured for Maeve to take one as well. He watched from his spot on the bench as she cautiously walked over and took a seat with her dog sitting at the end of the bench next to her. He knew she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say about their connection but he felt he needed to tell her exactly where his mind was and where he saw his life going after this.

“I’m still a broken man Maeve. I’m learning to live with that fact and accepting it. I’ve been making amends for all of the deaths that I have caused and all the wrongs I’ve done to people. I finally have found some peace in my life where I solely am responsible for myself and only myself. I don’t deserve a soulmate and I don’t want one to be honest.” he explains softly and as his eyes dart up to her face he can see the hurt clouding her eyes. Guilt began to swirl in the pit of his stomach and Bucky had to look away from her or he wouldn’t be able to continue. “I like the direction my life is heading in right now and I feel like adding a soulmate to it would upend everything I’ve worked towards. I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear but maybe later on down the line when I’ve completely made amends with my past we could possibly open the connection.”

After finishing Bucky closed his eyes for a moment and breathed out a long breath through his mouth. He let himself calm after confessing everything to her before he opened his eyes and turned to her. Bucky was surprised to see the hurt was gone from her eyes and she was just sitting peacefully on the opposite side of the bench, he felt a slight nagging feeling at the back of his mind but he quickly shook it away.

Maeve turned towards him and gave him an understanding smile as she nodded her head at him. She then stood from her seat to take two steps from the bench. Her German Shepherd moved with her easily as if it was an extension of her, Bucky could see that the dog was pressed as close to her as it possibly could be and looked up at Maeve almost in concern. Suddenly Maeve took a step back towards Bucky and stuck her hand out in front of her for a handshake.

“Well if that’s how you feel I’ll have to accept it. It’s been a pleasure James. I hope you find what you’re looking for in life.” Maeve said stiffly and once more the nagging feeling was in the back of Bucky’s mind, it was almost like it the feeling was trying to tell him something wasn’t right. But Bucky smiled widely at her gratefully and shook her hand easily, he didn’t miss the quick retreat from her as she quickly began walking away once the handshake was done.

Bucky takes in a quick breath as he feels his frustration rising within him. He slowly lets out the breath feeling his emotions begin to simmer underneath his skin. His eyes are darting back and forth along the hallway as he makes his way down it. When he comes to the end of the hallway there’s a set of double doors and a soft hum behind it. As he slowly enters the room quickly scanning for any enemies, Bucky groans loudly as he finds himself in an old control room surrounded by computer and television monitors. 

“She’s not here.” he growls out angrily and can hear the feedback from the communication device in his ear.

“Yeah, they cleared this place out quickly. Looks like we’re right on their tail.” Joaquin spoke up and Bucky gritted his teeth in frustration. They were always one step behind them, and Bucky knew that if Hydra felt truly threatened they’d do something to Maeve. Bucky tried not to think about that because that was a dangerous thought process that he wasn’t prepared to go down yet.

“I need you both down here in the lower levels. Looks like Maeve left us something. I’m sending you my coordinates.” Sam said and Bucky looked down at his watch device and saw the coordinates for Sam as he began to move blindly. He moved through the maze of the base as he wondered what Maeve would’ve left for them. Bucky’s thoughts began to take a dark turn and he quickly shook his head trying to dislodge those thoughts. He didn’t want to already put Maeve in a more dire situation than she already was.

Bucky arrived at the lower levels just as Joaquin burst through the double doors at the opposite end of the hallway, the two of them moving towards the middle of the hallway when Sam called out for them. Making his way quickly towards Sam he walked into the doorway and spotted the man crouched on the floor in the far corner of the room staring at the wall bewildered.

“Get over here, I can’t understand what she wrote on the wall.” Sam says as he stands from his spot and points to the wall for Bucky to look at. On the wall Bucky could see all the dirt and grime from years of the room being used, the room was small and held only one single cot pressed up against the far wall, no windows and lone camera in the opposite corner. He knew that they were using the room as her prison and he felt rage course through him at the thought of her being kept in such a tiny room without any windows or privacy. His eyes darted along the graffiti on the wall until his eyes caught onto two quickly etched Romanian words Comandouri urlete, howling commandos. Bucky sucked in a breath as he realized where they were heading.

“Austria, they’re taking her to Austria. The base where Steve broke me and Howling Commandos out. That’s their next base.” Bucky breathed out quickly.

“Alright, we’ve got our direction let’s get going. Hopefully we can catch up to them in transit.” Sam said quickly as he began moving to the door. Bucky hoped Sam was right that they’d be able to catch up to you in transit, he didn’t know what would happen otherwise with the rage that was swirling within himself.

*-*-*-*

“God damnit!” Bucky roared absolutely seething with anger as they searched the destroyed Hydra weapons facility where he had been held with the Howling Commandos. The facility had signs of people being here recently but once again they were just a step behind the group much to his frustration. Bucky grabbed the bare cot and flung it across the room in a fit of rage causing Joaquin to look over at him with quiet shock.

“They were here.” Sam said as he walked into the small room holding a file folder in one hand that he handed over to Bucky who frowned heavily before skimming through the paperwork in the folder. None of it made sense to him as since it was all detailing theories on the soulmate connection, he started to feel an uneasy pull in his stomach that he would get when he was connected to Maeve. Looking up at Sam and he shook his head not understanding what this all meant.

“Bucky, over here.” Joaquin spoke up and Bucky turned quickly as his mind began to race with thoughts of Maeve and what was happening to her. There on the wall was another scrawled word obelisk in hurried strokes that made Bucky wonder how much time they gave you alone to be able to do this.

“She’s still in Austria. There’s a fortress where General Reinhardt was working on a Kree Obelisk that was found not far from the fortress. She’ll be there.” he said hurriedly and Sam nodded his head before the three of them quickly left the facility.

As Bucky climbed into the aircraft that would take them to the next base his eyes trailed over the destroyed weapons facility and memories swarmed him from when Steve came to save him and the Commandos. He sighed softly as he silently hoped that Maeve was alright and that Hydra hadn’t touched her. The aircraft lifted into the air and Bucky found himself staring out of the window wondering where Maeve was right now.

*-*-*-*

Pain bloomed in Maeve’s left cheek as the Hydra agent who was in charge of her transport threw a punch at her face. Gasping sharply she gritted her teeth against the pain and glared up at the man through her greasy hair that hung over her face. Breathing through the pain that coursed up her face she focused on the feeling of the steely hands of his associates gripping her bound arms to keep her standing on her own feet. He spat out a word in a language that she didn’t understand. His upper lip curled upward in rage and he began to pace in front of her.

Maeve idly watched him wondering what it was that he was upset about now. Ever since they had kidnapped her Maeve had come to recognize his emotions even though she couldn’t understand what he was saying. Same with the other two guards who were in charge of keeping her bound, those two didn’t talk very much but she was able to get a read on them when something didn’t go according to plan.

She didn’t know how long it had been since she had been kidnapped but it felt like months at this point. She could feel the dirt and grime on her skin and in her hair for the days of traveling and staying in the not most sanitary places. Her body was sore and aching from the lack of sleep and the constant state of being bound. She could feel her spirit starting to wane and knew that she wasn’t fighting back as much as she had when they first captured her. One of the quiet agents was still sporting a black eye from when she elbowed him after he grabbed her too roughly. She knew that she was showing quite a few injuries herself after their rough handling of her but they hadn’t offered any medical care and she didn’t expect them to. 

Maeve idly wondered if Bucky and Sam would ever find her and bring her home. She wondered if they were able to find her clues in time to move to their next location. She had thought that Bucky and Sam were getting closer because the agents had been moving her faster than they had when this first started. Also the main transport agent had developed a nervous tick and his face now held a constant strained expression, she figured he had probably been dressed down for how close Bucky was getting. She just hoped that they hadn’t found her clues yet, hoped that she had more time to leave clues.

Just then her eyes focused on the man in front of her as he stopped in front of her and seethed, she watched as he swung his arm back as he turned towards her. Maeve closed her eyes tightly expecting him to hit her in the same spot but when the strike did happen she opened her eyes surprised. She looked up at an imposing looking woman dressed in a skintight black pencil skirt and black button up blouse. The woman was glaring at the transport agent silently and he seemed to shrink back in submission. Maeve then watched silently as the woman gazed at her with faux sympathy in her eyes.

“I am sorry.” the woman stated with a heavy German accent. “He should not have touched you.” Maeve flinched back when the woman reached out and trailed her index finger down Maeve injured cheek. “Sorry.” she stated again and Maeve thought that this woman didn’t understand the meaning behind the word. Maeve stared at her silently waiting for the woman to explain what was going on. “We know you are leaving clues for the soldat.” the woman said emotionless and Maeve felt like a bucket of ice water was dumped on her.

She stared at the woman without truly seeing her as her body froze in place, her mind began to race with ideas of what they were going to do to her now that they knew she was leaving clues for Bucky. Feelings of helplessness began to creep up and Maeve took in a deep breath to calm herself before refocusing on the woman. Not being able to judge the woman Maeve was left to silently watch her warily as her mind tried to think of ways to escape. She knew they weren’t going to take this lightly and she worried that what they would do to her would incapacitate her leaving her no way to escape if given the opportunity.

“Do not worry. We have plans for you at the last stop.” the woman said ominously and Maeve watched her as chills consumed her body. “You can leave a clue for soldat. We are going to Siberia.” the woman said with an evil smirk as she sharply patted Maeve’s injured cheek and whirled on her heel before barking out orders in German to the other hydra agents causing them all to jump into action.

Maeve groaned softly as her bounds were cut and her sore aching arms fell to her sides. She could feel the black cloud of unconsciousness starting to swarm up into her eyes. Trying to desperately stay conscious Maeve lost her struggle against it as her body crumpled to the floor. Her last thought was wondering what the plans they had for her.

*-*-*-*

Bucky stared down at the neat carved clue on the wall and felt a sense of dread fill him. Something wasn’t right, this wasn’t like the other clues. Bending at the waist he peered at the carved word soldat on the wall and felt ice slip down his spine.

“So where is she?” Sam asked as he leaned against the wall of the room with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Siberia. She’s in the Hydra base where they made me the winter soldier, where Zemo holded up.” Bucky said and could feel Sam and Joaquin’s eyes on him after his words sunk in. Bucky frowned as he felt that uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach start to flare up again. He had been feeling it ever since they were at the last base in Austria and he had thought nothing of it since it reminded him of the soulmate connection but now it was prominent and he was worried that it meant something bad for Maeve.

“What is it Bucky?” Sam asked softly as he stood from the wall and walked over to him before placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Something is happening. I’m getting an uneasy feeling in my stomach, it reminds me of the connection.” Bucky confessed and Sam stared at him with wide eyes.

“There were articles all over the weapons base about the soulmate connection.” Joaquin spoke up and Same nodded his head.

“At the last base too. They were doing research on the connection. But why?” Sam wondered aloud and Bucky looked over at him confused as they all tried to piece it together.

“If there’s a way to disconnect, is there a way to reconnect?” Joaquin asked aloud curiously and Bucky felt his lungs freeze as he snapped his head up to stare at Sam with wide eyes.

“They’re going to reconnect her. She’s a link to me and they want their soldier back.” Bucky said in a low terse tone. He felt rage swiftly consume him and he clenched his teeth in anger. “They think they can control me through the connection with her.”

“They’re going to torture her once she’s reconnected.” Sam said with obvious dread. “Let’s go.”

*-*-*-*

The snow was deep as Bucky, Sam, Joaquin and a squadron of soldiers descended on the Hydra base from their aircraft. There were no guards stationed outside and Bucky felt the uneasy feeling return in the pit of his stomach as he crouched behind a group of large rocks just outside the entrance to the base. Sam was crouched beside him peering down at his arm's digital display as redwing was doing surveillance around the base to see if there were any guards stationed outside.

“Something’s not right.” Bucky said softly as he peered around the rocks trying to figure out why there weren’t guards posted outside.

“I know, but we don’t know what’s going on inside and it’s too dangerous to just go in.” Sam said softly. Bucky nodded his head in agreement when all of a sudden pain flooded his body like waves crashing along the shore. Groaning low in his throat Bucky hunched over and pressed a hand into the ground below him. “Bucky?! What happened?” Sam barked out in worry as he stared at Bucky with wide eyes.

Bucky felt the edges of his consciousness begin to grow blurry and the blackness was creeping in. Pain like he had never felt before coursed through him at a constant pace. He tried to slowly take in a breath through his nose and blow it out through his mouth but it didn’t calm the pain he felt. Gritting his teeth Bucky slowly tried to calm himself down as he tried to push the pain down and focus on the Hydra base. 

“They reconnected us.” Bucky gritted out through his teeth and Sam nodded looking solemnly over at the base. Suddenly Bucky felt a pulling in the pit of his stomach and he knew it was the connection that was causing the sensation. He felt that if he followed the pull he would be able to navigate the base to exactly where Maeve was being kept. “Follow my lead. I know how to find her.” Bucky said as he stood from behind the rocks and began moving towards the front door.

Sam quickly followed behind him with his shield and firearm drawn while the rest of the squadron with Joaquin following after. Entering the base Bucky felt as if he was transported back into the past, it was almost like deja vu when Zemo had drawn him to this location. The first floor was empty with no posted guards just like the outside of the base. It’s only as they start to descend into the depths of the base that they start to see guards and Hydra agents walking around. 

Bucky is peering around a corner when he spots a guard walking away from him down the hallway. Stealthily he prowls behind the man and locks him into a chokehold before lowering the now unconscious man to the ground. He seethes quietly as he stares down at the man knowing that he can’t alert them to their location yet but he feels the desire to completely annihilate the man on the ground for what Hydra is doing to Maeve.

“C’mon let’s keep moving.” Sam said quickly as he tapped Bucky’s shoulder twice. Bucky nodded his head in agreement as he stepped over the unconscious man and continued on his way into the lower levels of the base. They came across a few more agents on the next two levels but they were all quickly and quietly taken down by either Bucky, Sam or any of the other members of the group.

Soon they found themselves on the lowest level of the base and Bucky could feel the pull in his stomach growing to a level that he wasn’t able to ignore. It almost felt like an invisible string tied to him leading him down the quiet hallways. “I don’t like this.” Sam said softly from behind Bucky as they all moved silently down the hallway towards the one room that Bucky had promised himself never to return to.

Bucky stayed silent as horrible memories bombarded him as he slowly walked down the hallway. He was transported back to the days when Hydra brainwashed him into becoming the Winter Soldier. The path that he was taking now to the main room was the same path that he’d be led down by Hydra guards. The walls were the same, the floors were the same, it was as if nothing had changed in this time capsule of a building. Taking a deep breath in through his nose Bucky grimaced as he realized that even the smell and air in the place was the same from when he became the Winter Soldier.

“Where is everyone?” Sam asked softly in a whisper and Bucky felt himself straightening his posture as they continued down the hallway. He was mentally transported to the past and found himself feeling as if he didn’t need to hide from Hydra any longer. He knew he was being reckless but he couldn’t help it as he moved down the hallway.

“They’re in the main room.” Bucky answered confidently as he and the group came to the main double doors of the ‘experiment room’. His eyes darted over to the door plaque on the wall and tapped it twice with his knuckles almost reverently before opening up the doors to the room. Sam, Joaquin and the rest of the soldiers all had their firearms drawn while Bucky held his at his side as he stood in the doorway.

The room was the exact same from his past and Bucky’s eyes darted around it in silent awe, nothing had changed. But then his eyes landed on Maeve, who was strapped to the same chair that he had been held in during Hydra’s brainwashing. Seeing Maeve laying in the chair was like a wake up call to Bucky and his mind focused only on her.

He moved about the room as if he was possessed as he incapacitated each and every Hydra agent that stood in the room. Bucky started with the man closest to him and quickly locked him into a chokehold as he raised his firearm and shot at the other agent who charged at him. He moved and expertly dodged each attack from the agents while he made progress getting closer to Maeve.

Maeve was unconscious as she lay unstrapped in the chair, her head lolled to the side with her eyes shut. There was an austere looking woman standing near Maeve as she checked a monitor that showed Maeve’s vitals. The woman turned from the monitor once she was satisfied with Maeve’s vitals to watch Bucky as he made his way through the room. The look on the woman’s face almost made a chill run down Bucky’s spine, it was emotionless and calculating. He knew that he couldn’t let this woman get away, she was in charge or close to the top of the Hydra group. She would have valuable information for Sam.

Bucky effectively knocked out agent after agent as he moved through the room. When he held the last unconscious agent by the collar of their shirt did he finally stand before the woman next to Maeve. She studied him silently as she stood as still as a statue, her beady eyes taking in his every move as if he was under her microscope.

“She has been reconnected. Soon the Winter Soldier will come back to claim his soulmate.” she said almost reverently and Bucky stared at her with disbelief coursing through him.

“Winter Soldier is gone, you monster.” he grumbled out at her while shaking his head. “Get out of the way.” he grits out as he tries to get closer to Maeve.

“No! You are not the Winter Soldier!” yells the woman and lunges forward to grab at Bucky. She doesn’t get very far though as Maeve had woken up and grabbed onto the electric prodding stick at the side of the chair. Bucky watched with wide satisfied eyes as the woman who had been in his way began to twitch as Maeve prodded her. The woman then fell to the floor in a heap and Bucky stepped over her to come to Maeve’s side.

Gently placing a hand on her shoulder Bucky watched her avidly trying to see all of her injuries. His eyes darted around her face as she silently breathed in and out swiftly, she most likely trying to calm herself down from her exertion of prodding the woman. Bucky watched as she shutter eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose and slowly blew it out through her mouth before her face crumpled in sorrow. Loud sobs escaped her mouth as she turned and buried her face into his shirt. Bucky slowly slipped his arms around her in what he hoped was a comforting hug, it had been weeks since he was able to hug her and he only hoped to help ease some of her stress.

“They took my choice away.” she said softly to him and Bucky felt sadness fill him. He knew with the reconnection that she would most likely be in pain again due to his activities, but he had also come to realize that while the pain was only part of the issue, the lack of freewill was now the bigger issue.

“We’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.” Bucky tried to reassure her as she sobbed in his arms. “We’ll get disconnected again.” he said softly and Maeve lifted her head from his shirt slowly to stare at him with wide teary eyes. Bucky looked down at her feeling as if he had made a complete breakthrough in his understanding of Maeve’s point of view. He didn’t know if it was because he was standing next to the chair where Hydra had brainwashed him into becoming the Winter Soldier while cradling her in his arms, but he felt as if he could now fully understand what Maeve had been trying to tell him. “We’ll get you disconnected. Don’t worry.” he reiterated to her and Maeve let the tears silently slip from her eyes down her face.