#intake interview

A man telescopes his hand towards you. Whether or not you accept, he sweeps into introductions.

"Howdy, partner! "I'm your DR-- HAHA, notta 'doctor', mind you, but your department rep. My friends call me John."

Are you friends? Seems like it's up to you to take him up on the offer.

"I got just a few items here on the agenda we needs sortin' out. Should hardly take much of your time at all..."

"What's your favorite song? I love a bit of Sinatra-- AHEM-- 'I did it myyyy wayyyy~'."

"Do ya wish you could be shorter or taller? I'm just an inch shy of 7-feet-round, 'n that one number off bothers the hell outta me, y'know?"

WELL KID, YOU'VE FOUND YOUR WAY TO THE BOTTOM OF THE DOOMSPIRAL - AND HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS! IT ONLY GOES UP FROM HERE! ONCE YOU JOIN UP WITH ME YOU'RE GUARANTEED AN INTERESTING LIFE WITH EXPERIENCES THAT WILL CHANGE YOU FOREVER! IN WAYS YOU CAN'T CURRENTLY (BUT WILL SOON!) IMAGINE! HehEhE...

BEFORE WE TALK PROS AND CONS, THOUGH, WE GOTTA TALK SOME P'S AND Q'S. JUST A COUPLE OF BASIC INTAKE QUESTIONS HERE [SUMMONS A CLIPBOARD AND TAPS A PEN AGAINST IT], THESE SHOULD BE EASY.

HOW PRONE ARE YOU TO RANDOM OUTBURSTS OF PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND/OR FINANCIAL VIOLENCE? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WANTED REVENGE OF ANY OF THE ABOVE VARIETIES? DATE AND CIRCUMSTANCE, PLEASE.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR PHYSICAL BODY AS IT CURRENTLY EXISTS? (DON'T WORRY IF YOU DON'T: I GOT A GREAT BODY-TAILOR IF YOU ARE ACCEPTED INTO THE ELITE!)

1-18-5 25-15-21 14-15-23 15-18 8-1-22-5 25-15-21 5-22-5-18 2-5-5-14 1-6-6-9-12-9-1-20-5-4 23-9-20-8 1-14-25 13-5-13-2-5-18 15-6 20-8-5 19-15-3-1-12-12-5-4 "16-9-14-5-19" 6-1-13-9-12-25??

What is today‘s date?

Who is the President?

How great a danger do you pose, on a scale of one to ten?

What does "people who live in glass houses" mean?

Every symphony is a suicide postponed, true or false?

Should each individual snowflake be held accountable for the

                      avalanche?

Name five rivers.

What do you see yourself doing in ten minutes?

How about some lovely soft Thorazine music?

If you could have half an hour with your father, what would you

                               say to him?

What should you do if I fall asleep?

Are you still following in his mastodon footsteps?

What is the moral of "Mary Had a Little Lamb"?

What about his Everest shadow?

Would you compare your education to a disease so rare no one 

                   else has ever had it, or the deliberate extermination 

                  of indigenous populations?

Which is more puzzling, the existence of suffering or its frequent

                                 absence?

Should an odd number be sacrificed to the gods of the sky, and an

                             even to those of the underworld, or vice versa?

Would you visit a country where nobody talks?

What would you have done differently?

Why are you here?

It takes the woman a moment to notice that you've entered the room at all. Even after she looks up, the long quiet is... uncomfortable.

"..."

She... writes something down.

"I'm Dr. Magdelene Faye, your Isomnis department representative. Yes, we'll be working together for the forseeable future. No, you don't have to pretend to like me. Let's begin the onboarding process."

"Your favorite song. Yes, I'm serious. Don't make me choose for you."

"At what time do you go to sleep? And, at what time do you wake up?"

Welcome to the intake interview! Your character has been officially hired by Ascentsy, and will be traveling to the Summit Basin location for Project Iapetus soon. While making arrangements for their travel, their department representative has some questions for them...

(Note that there is a different Intake Interview prompt for each department! Check your character's department on the Roster.)

A woman visibly measures you with an up-and-down glance the moment you enter the room. Perched on the desk, legs crossed, she smiles thinly at you. Or maybe that's just how her face happens to sit.

"No need to be shy, love. I don't bite. I'm Rita, your department representative."

She leans in, voice dropping to a conspiratory stage-whisper.

"And honestly...? Out of everyone here, I probably have the least idea of what's going on. Hope you can fill me in, hm? Let's start with you."

"What's your favorite song? I work best to a bit of MSI, myself."

"How do you feel about your assigned occupation? It's not a bad thing to keep a career path in mind."