'25 8/8 Portal.

Celebrated the 9th year of this book 4 days ago, but I am formally — if not theatrically —writing this post on this 8/8 day because number 8 is a very special number to me, there's like a motif of 8 inscribed on my fate being an 8th child, born in the 8th month and with a life path number 8.

This book is a physical manifestation of my gradual encounter with the most intimate bond of my heart— the center of being— and infinity both within and beyond myself. This book will always be a feat of alchemy, a miracle of turning painful confusions into epiphanies.

I have rarely talked about this book these past years because sometimes it still feels unreal, and when I get common questions such as why I published it, how much I've been earning from selling it, what inspired me to write it, what was the process of publishing it...all I can respond is a shrug or an awkward chuckle.

Truth is, you can't simply explain the work of the Divine just like you can never hold the entire universe, there's only infinity that provides a seemingly-useless but substantially-mysterious answer of "I don't know".

So I don't know what I'm doing at the moment and I don't know what this means but here goes the link to my vast unknown:

"The Universe at Heartbeat", originally published on August 4, 2016

Infinitely,

Nicola An

Thank you for your existence!

When I began this gathering of essays, which, yes, comes from the French essai, meaning to try, or to attempt, I planned on writing one of these things — these attempts — every day for a year. When I decided this I was walking back to my lodging in a castle (delight) from two very strong espressos at a café in Umbertide (delight), having just accidentally pilfered a handful of loquats from what I thought was a public tree (but upon just a touch more scrutiny was obviously not — delight!), and sucking on the ripe little fruit, turning the smooth gems of their seeds around in my mouth as wild fennel fronds wisped in the breeze on the roadside, a field of sunflowers stretched to the horizon, casting their seedy grins to the sun above, the honeybees in the linden trees thick enough for me not only to hear but to feel in my body, the sun like a guiding hand on my back, saying everything is possible. Everything.

May all that have life be delivered from suffering ~Buddha

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