#inmysparetime0

Love is the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. The butterflies. The stupid smile that breaks out on your face. The other person will be the missing puzzle piece, you didn't realise you were searching for.

Love doesn't begin right away for most people. It takes time and patience. It can be frustrating in the beginning. Begging for the other to reciprocate your feelings towards them, wanting them to understand the need you have for them to be near or be seen again.

It took Dean a while to tell you he loved you after you first got together. In the beginning, you denied any advances, thinking he was just infatuated with the idea of you just to toss you out later, but here you were, with him after half a decade of knowing him.

He showed you the love he felt for you, with the actions he portrayed. The little lingering touches. Your foreheads pressed together after a night of naughty shenanigans. When your hands linked together and he squeeze to reassure you that he was there for you. He peppers kisses all over your face, leaving you hardly any time to breathe a you giggle at his mischievous antics. You loved them all, you loved him.

Love can never truly be fully explained, science only provides a small sliver of information that we can use to deduce whether someone loves us or not; platonically or romantically.

Romantically, there are three stages to fall in love; lust, it's driven by testosterone and oestrogen. Attraction, you see that person and can think of little else other than those you are attracted to. Adrenaline increases in the bloodstream. You start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry. Have you ever felt that before? Ever felt the rush of pleasure when bumping into the one you are attracted to? It's triggered by dopamine. If the one you are attracted to keeps popping in your thoughts when you are away from them, chances are that that is the serotonin. It makes you all giddy inside. It makes you happy. The thoughts put a smile on your face, breaking the equilibrium and gives you a tingly feeling all over.  The final stage is attachment; it's the emotional bond that ties two or more people together. The cuddle hormone; now that is one of my favourites. Oxytocin is released, deepening the feelings of the attachment, you feel the release of tension in your body as you sag and melt against the other person.

If you're in love; you could feel like you are not good enough or you don't deserve them, that they're too good for you no matter what they do to try and prove otherwise or they bring you out of your slump. They can make you feel on top of the world, like you can do anything as long as you are with them.

'You need to wake up 'cause I can't do this without you.' It was the first words he spoke that morning as he nudged his nose against your cheek, in your favourite wake up call - especially before a hunt. The close proximity borough heat to your cheeks. You hands reached up, fingers tangling in his short, dirty blonde locks.

Tugging at them, he tilted his head and captured your lips in a searing kiss. You could feel him smile against your mouth, that didn't stop your own one forming. As he pulled away, his teeth locked onto your bottom lip and yanked softly, drawing out a lewd moan from the base of your throat.

Love means strength, but also is a form of weakness. The person you love can be taken and used for leverage, especially in this life. That is exactly what happened today. If the miscreant wanted your loved one, you would be willing to sacrifice yourself and would choose to surrender your own live to save theirs.

If love means putting others' needs before your own then you should do so. If your loved one saw that you were suffering, you would want them to put you out of your misery.

Love is torture. When you love someone so dearly, it physically pains you. Or it nearly kills you when you see that they are in pain. Love is a beautiful thing but it hurts, too.

Love means sacrifice, sacrificing yourself for the ones you love, whether it be physically or emotionally. Although Dean loved you with all he had and didn't want to do it, he had to.

Dean loved you, but it was painful. Love was painful. You said you loved him with all your heart, you forgive him, that it was what he had to do.

'Please don't do this.' He begged in a hushed tone but you could still hear him over your heavy breathing, it was getting harder to do so, it was harder to concentrate but you needed him to do this, for you.

‘You have to. I love you, so much, Dean.’

Dean showed you he loved you when he drove the Angel blade into your abdomen, the demon that previously occupied your body had vanished in the nick of time. The tears slipped down Dean's face as the light from your eyes disappeared, the glimmer no longer there, you were gone and he blamed himself. He shouldn't have brought you into this life, you would have been safe and alive if it wasn't for him.

He still loved you.

Love.

What is love?

Just send me and ask if you wanna be added or removed :)