#ink thoughts

(Your art is lovely btw.)

I love the concept of Murine, and I have talked my partner's ear off relentlessly about it. It literally broke my heart when I was playing and listening to Muirs voicelines, and the phone call when Innes witnesses his transformation (that "oh no" was fucking visceral). You can tell they were at least close friends by how they interact during the intro, combined with how genuinly confused and horrified innes is over the phone and when Caz meets with with him again.

AND the fact the only one Muir asks for BY NAME is innes, meaning he fucking trusts that man to help him. For me (now, this is just my interpretation, gamers), the is meant to show that there's still like a hold on their consciousness even after their mutated, but how aware they are of their fate is debatable. The entire playthrough, Muir is confused and asking for help (specifically from innes and the deck crew), and when he's evaded his lines range from outrage and disappointment, to fear and confusion, screaming for the crew not to leave him behind, to stay with him on the deck, and to "find Innes".

When he finally does get a hold on inness, I'm pretty sure he screams not to leave him (been a few days since I played through the deck area) and [Spoilers Ahead]

🖌️ ✩ INK THOUGHTS ✩ 🖌️

(”The work of Hell is holy, in this life” doesn’t have the same third-personness to it.)

Usually, girlgroups or soloists with really badass concepts just give me, like, really major power bottom energy

The exceptions?

Some years ago, I went to a psychologist because of bullying problems.

He never pressured me to talk, instead, he let me write and draw my thoughts and gave me cookies whenever I told him about something.

On one of the last sessions, my mother came earlier, maybe half an hour earlier. She then, sat down and they both looked at me.

My psychologist said "Well? What were you about to tell me?"

I didn't say anything. Not a word.

My mother and him tried to make me talk, telling me that that was a safe environment.

It's been a couple of years since I was there, sitting awkwardly and looking down to the floor so I wouldn't meet their eyes.

After a while, they gave up and nobody said a word about that ever again. Instead, I asked myself why I never talked.

Why, if I trusted my mother and I trusted my psychologist? Why, if my mother is psychologist too?

I knew it was safe to trust them with my thoughts, about how my bully was always mad at me for some reason, and I always begged her to forgive me, even if deep down I knew that I hadn't done anything wrong.

Now I know why I never talked that day: my psychologist wasn't an important part of my life. I mean, he helped me a lot, but we only saw each other two days a week for an hour and a half maybe.

I face my mom every day. And I didn't want her to judge me.

I never really told my family what was really the problem at school. They discovered it all when I started crying every morning before going to school and my mom suggested going to a psychologist.

Back then, I always thought I was weak. Weak for crying, weak for letting people hurt me, weak for needing help to deal with my feelings.

It's been a couple of years since that, and this person helping me made me realize that I want to be a psychologist too to help people.

I'm still afraid of people judging me, and even if I forgave my bully long time ago, I won't open up for people. Instead, I bottle up my feelings until I can't hold them anymore.

I wonder what would my mother say if I told them now everything that happened to me when I was in primary: how this girl bullied me because I wanted to be friends with @neliakey, how another boy grabbed me and another friend by the throat if we refused to give him our food.

I'm not proud to say that I had a happy childhood, but I know people have it worse. I know I'm lucky after all.

Some people out there are warriors, fighters, heroes. And yet, I don't think they wanted to be anything like that.

So, to all the fighters, all the heroes, all the people who felt (and still feel) weak but they are stronger that they think, this is all for you.

It gets better, I know. You'll survive.