#inhaler

“Come on, grab your purse or we’ll be late!” your friend said, zipping up her boots up to her knees. She was wearing a short leather skirt and a cute black top, she was the kind of girl who looks effortlessly cool wherever she goes, even if she got ready in barely ten minutes.

She had bought tickets for some concert, and she was supposed to go with a guy she’d been sort of seeing, but he ended up ghosting her two days before the concert and she asked you to go with her. You had met when you were 14 at school: you had just moved to Birmingham and you instantly clicked, you were both into music (at that point in time, mostly One Direction, she had always been a Zayn girl) and you enjoyed spending the afternoons together, going to the mall or doing homework at your place. Now, you had grown up and had a wider group of friends, but you still hung out often and enjoyed deep talks over coffee.

You finally grabbed all your stuff and walked out the door with her, four heels clacking down the wooden stairs of your apartment building. She seemed to be pretty excited about this, and you weren’t sure why, but she was always energetic and loved a night out.

“So I’ve just heard a few songs of theirs, but they were pretty cool… And for what I’ve heard it’s a cool gig… Like cool people, cool music… I don’t know…” she kept blabbering as you strolled through the misty streets.

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll have fun” you replied, trying to match her enthusiasm.

When you got to the venue, you were immediately surrounded by an ecstatic atmosphere. Most of the audience was female, especially between the ages of 14 and 25, but there were also some guys and older people as well. Your friend took your hand and dragged you into the crowd, she loved to feel the adrenaline of being surrounded by people, sweaty people dancing, jumping up and down as the music blasts in your ears, making the ground tremble as you lose the concept of your own weight and just vibrate in sync with the universe for what feels like an instant but is actually so much longer. You were usually more lowkey, you liked seeing live music, dancing along and enjoying the experience, for sure, but in a slightly different way.

After about twenty minutes, the music of the speakers decreased and the lights went down: the band was about to come on stage, and even though you didn’t even know who they were, the excitement that surrounded you stuck to your skin like glitter, in that moment you could feel the almost anxiety that reigned in the room.

Four guys hopped on the stage, probably in their twenties, the lights were still low so you couldn’t really tell much else, they just had the look of any indie rock band nowadays. Suddenly, a white spotlight shone on the lead singer, and it only took a second before you realized who it was, but it couldn’t be, could it? It made sense, but did it? You stayed frozen as the band started playing their first song. Your friend was swaying along with the beat, but you were just standing, your eyes stuck to him like a mussel to a rock.

Eli and you had been close, really close, during your childhood. Before you moved to Birmingham, you used to spend all your Sundays at his place, playing Clue with him and his brother or swimming in the pool when the weather allowed it. You also remembered him playing guitar and how he tried (and failed) to teach you. When you left, you both agreed to stay in touch, but neither of you actually did and you hadn’t even seen his face since then. You were sad at first, but you also felt that it was stupid trying to keep your friends from Dublin when you would be so far apart and it would be almost impossible to see them.

After the first moment of absolute shock, you started to listen to the music and move to the beat subtly, but you couldn’t just enjoy the concert, your mind kept wandering. Should you try to approach him after the gig? Would he even recognize you? Or remember you? I mean, it hadn’t been that long… But you had grown up, and even if he did recognize you, what were you going to say? It’s not like you had anything in common anymore, or maybe you did, but you couldn’t really know. You could ask about his family, but that seemed kind of absurd… Maybe you should just let it be, tell your friend you used to be friends with the singer and move on, it’s not like you had any unresolved business with him or any particular interest in reconnecting. He was handsome, he always had been good looking, and for a short period of time you had had a crush on him, maybe even your first crush, but you were very young and didn’t even know what a crush felt like. The concert kept going and, even though the songs sounded amazing, your mind wasn’t in it at all. You looked over to your friend and you could see she was having the time of her life, eyeing the bassist a bit, dancing around, clapping her hands…

When the concert ended, you and your friend quickly snuck out, trying to avoid the crowd. The night was cold, but not cold enough to bother you, the crisp air made your muscles tighten and quickly got rid of the dizzy cloud that had settled in your brain when you had entered the warm venue filled with bodies and excitement.

“Fancy a drink?” your friend asked you, in a way that sounded almost like a XIXth century gentleman, or maybe you were at that point of the evening when you start having strange thoughts. For a few seconds you hesitated, thinking of what could happen if you stayed and waited for Eli to come out, maybe he would recognize you and you could have a nice chat, maybe you could actually reignite your friendship… As your mind wandered to those fantasies, the street was becoming more boisterous due to the fans exiting the venue and standing on the pavement: showing off their new merch or the picks, drumsticks and set lists they had managed to catch…

“Yeah, let’s go” you ended up deciding and started walking away from the o2 academy.

On the way to the pub, your friend and you discussed your opinions on the band and their music, as well as the concert in general, talking about the stuff that made you laugh and pointing out strange interactions among the audience and that sort of thing. A comfortable silence settled between you two, but you quickly broke it to comment about the singer and how you used to be tight.

“What the hell? Girl, that’s Bono’s kid and you’re telling me you used to play barbies with him or something?” your friend said, clearly pretty shocked.

“Yeah, I guess it sounds kind of strange when you put it like that… I don’t even know how our parents met to be fair… I don’t know, I think it’s funny that he’s a musician now and I got to see him live…” you replied, calmly, smiling a bit at her reaction.

“You should’ve said it before! We could’ve snuck backstage for sure… Gotten free merch even!” your friend said, pushing you playfully.

“I don’t know… It felt a little unnecessary… I don’t even know how much he remembers of me, maybe I was just the kid his parents made him hang out with…” you said, even though you knew it wasn’t so, you just didn’t want your friend to get too hyped and push you into some awkward situation.

“Shit! I think I just got my period… Do you have a tampon?” she asked, suddenly changing the tone and seeming uncomfortable. “It wasn’t supposed to come until like five days from now… Shit! Do you mind if we look for some shop that’s open?”

When you finally found an open shop, she walked in, searching for any products that she could use to avoid the discomfort. You waited outside, searching on your phone for the nearest bar since it was getting late and your usual pub was a little far away now that your route had been crooked. You heard some footsteps approaching the street, but you didn’t really mind, it could be anyone just walking home or maybe someone going into the shop as well. You were surprised when you heard a soft, interrogative voice say your name. You lifted your eyes from your phone screen and saw Eli standing there. Behind him, a few steps back were the rest of the band, which seemed a bit funny, almost like a ‘60s movie where he’s the leader of some street gang, nevertheless, your heart skipped a beat and you felt a strange rush through your stomach and to your cheeks.

“Eli, hi” you replied, slightly nervous, but trying to play it cool.

“It’s been a while… What are you up to? It’s kinda late…” he asked, looking around the dark street.

“Yeah, my friend’s buying tampons… Um, she had an emergency, we don’t usually go to the shops now… We were actually at your gig… Like your band…” you started explaining, awkwardly, starting to wonder what was taking your friend so long and praying that she would come out and save you. Eli seemed pretty surprised by your last statement and his mouth opened a bit as his eyebrows raised.

“Oh! Really? That’s cool! Did you have fun?” he asked. To be fair, he was being very kind and friendly, you were nervous for no reason, but still something about this whole interaction was so hard to process that you knew you would be analysing it all night.

“Yeah, yeah… It was definitely fun… You guys were great…” he blushed slightly at your comment and looked down with a smile, muttering a soft “thanks” right as your friend came out of the shop.

“Jesus, I swear they only had like these huge night pads, and I was trying to find literally anything else, cause how the hell am I supposed to stick a pad the size of an Olympic swimming pool to my little slutty cheetah print thong?” she said as she walked out with an undetermined box between her hands. Midway through her rant she realized Eli was in front of you, but that didn’t really stop her from making her point, she just included him in the conversation with a brief and friendly glance.

“Umm, this is Eli, we used to be friends when we were kids” you introduced him, as if you hadn’t already told her all that.