May 5, 2025
Blue Silence
I said too much. She said “good night.” But I felt the chaos in her chest, the white soul trying to breathe under my storm. I was too much. Again. I always am.
—sometimes the silence hurts more than the words.
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Blue Silence
I said too much. She said “good night.” But I felt the chaos in her chest, the white soul trying to breathe under my storm. I was too much. Again. I always am.
—sometimes the silence hurts more than the words.
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At work, filling the cooler thinking of things to be grateful for: Not being with certain ex’s Not being a bitter person that talks shit and takes their aggressions out on others Working nights so I can go to the gym and sleep in- #gratitude And doing the beer is easier than doing the energy drinks #storytelling #infj #infjthoughts https://www.instagram.com/p/CPrmyh_hwFO/?utm_medium=tumblr
At some point in my life I realized that my kind of pragmatism allowed me to survive but not live happily. I can't really blame my old self; coming from the bottom, mere survival was already a big goal. I had no big dreams. I was busy just trying to make it to the next day okay. It sounds exaggerated, maybe it is, but anybody who lived with very little privilege if at all, knows how it feels--that feeling that there's no point dreaming of anything because you cannot achieve them anyway, hell, you cannot even get past challenges in front of you. But somehow, little by little, things improved. But the pragmatism remained. It's good; we all need to stay grounded right? But the thing was my attitude towards dreaming also remained the same. I reached a better place but chose not to dream further. Maybe I was afraid to fail. Maybe I got used to the old stuff. Maybe I was only good at survival and nothing more. To this day, I am not sure why. What I do know is that I limited myself by not updating my way of thinking. Today I am more open to possibilities. They still give me the jitters. In addition, being the planning type, sometimes just thinking about the path to achieving a new goal can already exhaust me. Still I find myself giving more yeses to challenges now than before. I choose to believe that I will always be alright. I know what the bottom looks like. Rather than be occupied by fear of going back there if I fail, I comfort myself with the thought that I can always make it out of there should things go south. I've done it before. I can do it again. Maybe even with a smile this time. Smile. Let us practice self love by allowing the simplest of things to make us smile. Like a beautiful quiet morning. #infj #infjthoughts #journal #easter #musings https://www.instagram.com/p/CNOkyS1BMmI/?igshid=1ix9uid8hrqku
Can somebody remind me who I am, please?
...
The never-enough problem
"For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didnt get enough sleep." The next one is "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack... This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life..."
- Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I touched up my hair yesterday, it’s a little yellow but it’ll lighten with time...better than it being so white it breaks. I might tone it. The second is a selfie from last week to breakup all the posts with who is posting 🙋🏻♀️ #hairstylist #infj #infjthoughts #writer https://www.instagram.com/p/CGc2WjrhOef/?igshid=t2veguux3ucs
I touched up my hair yesterday, it’s a little yellow but it’ll lighten with time...better than it being so white it breaks. I might tone it. The second is a selfie from last week to breakup all the posts with who is posting 🙋🏻♀️ #hairstylist #infj #infjthoughts #writer https://www.instagram.com/p/CGc1g-DBypS/?igshid=1cy3awkn9ahd1
I prefer routine because then I can let my imagination roam free. I’m waiting for the day our things are in there place. Our clothes in closets or dressers. Dreaming of having my vision board wall and steady schedule - work then gym and cook in my own kitchen. All I’m order. Not living off of beef jerky and things that don’t need heat. So would ‘on the road’ always be ideal for me? Or would having a home base and traveling once every couple months be more reality? - I put a deposit down on our own apartment. We’ll be close to everything so when if it snows I’ll be able to get to work. - Privacy and only mine and Kal-el’s moods or happiness to be concerned with. I got my cosmetologist license here now but am hesitant to do that kind of work. The job I have now is fun and pretty easy. Free coffee, ring people up and clean. I feel safe because there’s buttons we wear and hidden, that we can press if anything happens. - I’m looking at office job options because it isn’t as personal. How much of someone’s mood can be transferred to me by doing their paperwork? - We’ll see. - Working on my credit and happy to say that there has been some improvement. - #writing #writer #infjthoughts #infjwriter https://www.instagram.com/p/CGDpRE2Bi97/?igshid=136a3878o99vr