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Jaskier: You know, sometimes it’s hard to notice red flags when you’re in a relationship. It’s like horse blinders. I once dated a man that didn’t believe in using a dyer, so he would nail wet clothes to the wall until they dried. How did I not know he was an idiot? How did I think “I love him!”?
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Jaskier: Did you hear that?
Geralt: No, hear what?
Jaskier: … Are you lying to make me feel better?
Geralt: Yeah, that was fucking terrifying! Let’s get this hunt over with!
Jaskier: I take it you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling.
Valdo Marx:
Jaskier: Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.
Geralt: 'Have kids' they said. 'It'll be fun' they said
Ciri, from the kitchen: PUT IT OUT! PIT IT OUT!
Jaskier: IT'S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!
Ciri: It's called a fire extinguisher. FIRE. EXTINGUISHER
-glass shatters. Jaskier screams-
Geralt: Don't have kids. Don't
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