Jun 3, 2025
Happy June.
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Happy June.
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Sima Qian: I keep a protrait of His Majesty in my drawer. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
Sima Qian: And I tell myself: "If I survived this asshole, then I can survive anything."
Assassin: I'm going to kill you!
Huhai, pulling out a scroll: Wait hold on I have to ask Chancellor Zhao first.
Assassin: ...That's not how this works?
Huhai: He said no. Sorry!
Assassin: What?
"What up, I'm Liu Bang, I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read." -Liu Bang, probably, sitting somewhere in Pei County
Liu Ju: Mother, I've found out that Father's ears tends to flush when he lies!
Wei Zifu: What do you mean?
Liu Ju: Look at this.
Liu Ju: Your Majesty! Do you still love me?
Liu Che, covering his ears: Yes, but of course. What a silly question.
Wei Zifu: ...
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Ying Zheng: So are we flirting right now?
Gao Jianli: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU.
Ying Zheng: That doesn’t answer my question.
*If the warring states were personified*
Chu: Ah, Qin, my arch enemy.
Jin: ...I thought I was your arch enemy?
Chu: Things change, Jin. I have a life outside of you.
Sun Wu: This is bothering me.
Ji Guang: Well, to be fair, Wu Zixu did dig up a corpse. And is brutally whipping it.
Sun Wu: What, no, that's pretty normal actually. I meant, doesn't he get tired? We're at 200 lashes and counting.
Ji Guang: Oh, that. You're right, where does he get that stamina from?