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seen from United States
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modern moshang would be like
sqh: oh, you bought me coffee? mbj: i ordered the wrong drink, so you can have it. sqh: *takes a sip* mobei. you like your coffee black. mbj: mn. sqh: so you accidentally ordered a vanilla oat milk latte with two shots of espresso, my exact order? mbj: sqh: mbj: yes.
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moshang office au but it's just
sqq: i don’t understand why you aren’t dating mbj yet
sqh: even if i wanted to, office relationships aren’t permitted
sqq: ok but they are.
sqh: since when?
sqq: since the day you were hired.
sqh: sqq: the moment you were hired, mbj changed the policy.
sqh: bro.
moshang modern au where mbj finds out that he's appointed as the most eligible bachelor of the year
mbj: this is wrong.
interviewer: but you’re handsome, have a high net worth, people want you—!
mbj: but i’m married.
interviewer:
mbj: i have a husband.
interviewer:
awkward small talk between mobei jun and shen qingqiu would be like
sqq: so, do you have any pets?
mbj: i have a hamster. sqq: oh cool. mbj: what about you? any pets? sqq: yeah i have a dog. mbj: nice. sqq: mbj: the hamster: [shang qinghua]
the dog: [luo binghe]
in which sqh accidentally makes simlish the demon native tongue
sqh is like “talk dirty to me, my king. i want to hear it in your language”
and mbj is like aight bet and starts spewing some zinkokadoo dow flarch depwa nooboo gidagiddowa zaweep
sqh: ayo wtf
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moshang mpreg but it’s just
sqh: am i gregnant?
mbj:
sqh: am i pegnate?? help!?
mbj:
sqh: am i pregegnant or am i ok?
mbj:
sqh: could i be pregonate?
mbj:
sqh: how do i know if I’M prengan??
mbj:
sqh: 38 + 2 weeks…preGANANANT?
