stan: it’s been 15 minutes since bills texted me back, do you think they’re okay?
bill: *trying to spell gorgeous*
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stan: it’s been 15 minutes since bills texted me back, do you think they’re okay?
bill: *trying to spell gorgeous*

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Eddie: *Has a sad thought*
Richie: *Bolts up in bed in the middle of the night in a cold sweat* Something’s wrong.
Eddie: Will you at least take me out to dinner?!
Richie: Sorry, i dont go out with married men
Eddie: But im YOUR husband
Richie: I make no exceptions
Eddie: Is your name Google? Because you’re everything I’ve been searching for.
Richie: You’ve been searching for a dude with severe depression, self-hatred, and a terrible sense of humor? Weird.
Eddie: ...babe, we’ve talked about this.
It: I lured you all to my lair because I crave the deadliest game--
Richie, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
It:
It: I was actually going to hunt you all for sport, but now I'm really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is.

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richie: am i a threat to you?
eddie: i think everything's a threat to me. i mean, look at this blood test! how can i be deficient in every vitamin at once? what the fuck is B12?
Eddie: *hands Richie a water bottle*
Richie: thanks, but what's it for? *drinking it*
Eddie: Stan says that you get thirsty around me
Richie: *chokes on water*