Mar 5, 2019
Kirill: So, how’s the most handsome man in the world doing? Doug, not looking up from his desk: I don’t know, how are you? Kirill, trying not to cry: I’m fine.
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Kirill: So, how’s the most handsome man in the world doing? Doug, not looking up from his desk: I don’t know, how are you? Kirill, trying not to cry: I’m fine.
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Max: When you said you were “magical in bed” this isn’t exactly what I was exp— Yuri, holding up an 8 of hearts: Is this your card? Max, softly: Holy shit
Pat: You know, I’ve always wondered. How can detectives do their job without crying? Doug: As a detective let me tell you It gets like super close dude
Doug: Shut up. Kirill: I didn’t even say anyth— Doug: You were thinking. It’s annoying.
Doug: Do you want to know how I really hurt my wrist?
Deana: Yes.
Doug: I was hoola hooping. Kirill and I attended a class for fitness and for fun.
Deana: Oh my god.
Doug: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.
Deana: Why are you telling me this?
Doug: Because no one will ever believe you.
Deana: You sick son of a bitch.
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Doug: I know you went off by yourself, Kirill.
Kirill, internally: Quick play dumb!
Kirill, externally: Who’s Kirill?
Kirill: Not that dumb!
Doug, about to prank Kirill for the nth time: Do you trust me?
Kirill: Yeah.
Doug:Â Wait, what? Why?
Kirill: It’s like chess. Sometimes, to win, you have to sacrifice your king.
Kay: That’s exactly how you lose.