Esme to Gunther: You know, I think you're absolutely delicious, monkey.
Jerome: Excuse me! I'm right here.
Esme: Yes. THERE you are.

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Esme to Gunther: You know, I think you're absolutely delicious, monkey.
Jerome: Excuse me! I'm right here.
Esme: Yes. THERE you are.

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Larry: Okay, everyone let’s do this!
Jacquelyn: Synchronise your watches.
Kit: I don’t know how to do that.
Jacques: I don’t have a watch.
Lemony: Time is a construct, a phrase which here means, ‘no thanks.’
Klaus: Calling anyone brother immediately sends off alarm bells in my head... when people say call me brother... we barely know each other but call me this term that really means that we’re close.... I don’t know you like that!

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Fiona: [pulls out gun]
Klaus: hey, we said no guns
Fiona: did we? I thought we said no gum
Klaus: but you’re also chewing gum!
Fiona: [blows bubble] I’m a wild card.
If I had a nickel for every time I mentioned how someone died in a manatee-related incident, I would have two nickles, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Lemony Snicket, probably
Charles and Sir: *see Shirley for the first time*
Charles: Oh my god.
Sir: I know, right? Talk about a butter face!