May 15
Niall: Do you cook?
Zayn: I made a cake once.
Liam: Yeah, it was good.
Zayn: Really?
Liam: Don’t make me lie twice, Zayn.
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Niall: Do you cook?
Zayn: I made a cake once.
Liam: Yeah, it was good.
Zayn: Really?
Liam: Don’t make me lie twice, Zayn.
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Paul: Start talking!
Louis: Well, we-
Paul: Shut up!
Zayn: Is this about me?
Liam: No.
Zayn: Oh. Then I've lost interest.
Harry: No problemo!
Harry, internally: But it was all problemo.
Liam: I've never heard anything like that before.
Harry: Like what?
Liam: I don't know, I've never heard it before.
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Liam: I can’t keep your secret from Zayn much longer, every time your name comes up I change the subject to the new Twin Peaks reboot until he gets bored.
Louis: So you talk for one second?
Zayn: How could you do that?!
Louis: Cause I'm an idiot. You may think you're an idiot, but with all due respect, I'm a much bigger idiot than you are.
Zayn: Don't insult me, my friend. Remember who you're talking to. No one's a bigger idiot than me.
Cop: What are your names?
Zayn: Don't tell them, Louis.
Cop, writing: Louis...
Zayn: Crap.
Louis: Nice going, Zayn.
Cop:
Louis: Uh oh.