#imsorryimlost

did an illustration for Im Sorry Im Lost, a post-rock band from Malang, East Java, Indonesia.

I: 5 turn ons

1. scruff

2. glasses

3. good hygeine

4. smiling genuinely

5. the ability to laugh at yourself

J: 5 turn offs

1. bad hygeine

2. vagina

3. cockiness

4. no imagination

oh shit, i am literally the most boring person in the world.

i’ve lived my entire life in a town with a population below 500. yes, i hate it and yes, i’m really quite sheltered from the world at large because of it, which makes it even harder to get away. the only places i’ve been outside of my state (michigan) are canada and ohio and i was really too young to remember much about either.

the first concert i ever went to was shania twain and she threw her jacket out into the audience and we nearly had it but some douchebag in front of us caught it instead and i don’t know why i remember that so clearly. until i got better music taste, the only other concerts i ever went to were *nsync-related because i was obsessed and i still have a bunch of their cd singles and imports and could probably sing by heart any one of their songs you played for me.

when i was in eighth grade, my best friend of practically my entire life dumped me for no apparent reason and spread rumors about me and was generally awful and it basically ruined my life throughout high school and made my anxiety issues so much worse than they were before. but then she dropped out of college and had a baby when she was, like, 19 so lol go me.

the person i consider my best friend now lives in new york and i’ve never met her and it makes me infinitely sad. :(

i have hundreds of cds and i’ve never really met anyone around here (besides my sister) who has similar music taste to me, so when i talk to anyone about music they’re usually like “lol i have three cds and i only listen to top 40.” (or country, country’s really big for a lot of people here.)

my dad and most of my extended family are hardcore into hunting and other outdoorsy activities and i literally never go outside except when necessary. even if i just try to lounge because it’s a nice day or something i usually think after awhile “omg what is even the point there are bugs and wind and the grass is uncomfortable and there are fans inside wtf am i doing?”

speaking of my family, they’re pretty much all uber-religious and i stopped going to church when i was about 12. i think my dad has always been disappointed in me for it and i’m too afraid to tell him or anyone else that i haven’t actually believed in god for a decade now because, as little as i have in common with them, i don’t want my family to disown me or treat me any more like an awkward outsider than they already do.

i’m 99% certain i never want to have children. i’m also not sure if i want to get married. i don’t really care about romantic relationships in general and i’m not sure if this is because of my social anxiety or because i actually have no interest. but i’ve never really felt like i’m missing out on anything and when i hear people my age complaining about being single and how they need to find a boyfriend or girlfriend i just don’t get it at all.

this one is only half about me. i go to central michigan university (which is an ok school, not really my ideal, but i started later than most people do and a lot of things have held me back from branching any further from home) and the most famous alumnus is amy roloff from tlc’s little people, big world. pretty impressive, eh?

i was going to say that i don’t have any special talents or abilities but i think i am a good writer so there is that. i’ve written essays in an hour or two the night before they were due and had teachers tell me they were amazing, so i guess that’s a helpful ability to have. unfortunately, i have been too nervous/self-doubting to do anything with my fiction other than post it online for a handful of anonymous people to see.