having a favorite person is actually the most humiliating thing in the entire world & even if you’re so so good & do nothing about it that shame will eat away at you until there’s nothing left
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having a favorite person is actually the most humiliating thing in the entire world & even if you’re so so good & do nothing about it that shame will eat away at you until there’s nothing left

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And here I was hoping I'd somehow managed to squish it all away or something. But nope, apparently all I did was shut down 90% of my overall emotionality and ruthlessly logic myself from an explosive borderline into an implosive one, so now I lash out at myself instead of other people.
Awesome.
Suppose there isn't much to do but acknowledge and deal with it, though. Hence the sideblog. Maybe some recovery shit will happen somehow, who knows.