#implosive bpd

having a favorite person is actually the most humiliating thing in the entire world & even if you’re so so good & do nothing about it that shame will eat away at you until there’s nothing left

i don't think u can feel truly comfortable around a person unless u have traumabonded or run errands w them a few times. either one works.

The thing about having a FP is that they will eventually be gone, ultimately by your hand or by their own. Then immediately you'll become aware of how few people came close to knowing them and adoring them in any way that comes close to how you did. You'll want to pour over every moment, every interaction, every word, every touch, over & over again. For months. For years. But the number of people who will can entertain you in that will dwindle until you're left with no one who truly remembers them, or cares to do so, except yourself. You'll still spend just as much time in your memories with them as you do in the present moment. Sometimes more. But one day, all of a sudden, you'll find yourself completely alone there, unable to finish the last detail of a story or place the exact color of their hair under city lights. No one will be able to help. No one will understand why they should. And that is the loneliest feeling I've ever found.