#imnotdoingthisright

I messed up, I've messed up, I'll mess more.

I'm a mess.

I'm sorry doesn't go well when you won't even hear it.

I don't hold grudges, I swear until I die. You don't forgive. You won't forgive. What I don't understand is that I could watch you go back to before in a heartbeat and in a moment I would forgive and love you without a thought.

I love you. Mistakes and moments you've forgotten and refuse to remember; they live with me everyday. I shut my mouth and love you anyways.

I love you so hard it hurts. I mess up and you won't look at me. All those nights you've forgotten I live with everyday because I fucking love you. I messed up, tomorrow the sun will rise and never have I turned you away when you're plastered and I cancel my plans to care for you. I fell asleep

Lost, confused, desperate, heartbroken, scared, ambitious, terrified, accepting, and thrilled >

Idk what I’m doing.. I’m fucked up. But it’s ok./p> It’s okay. I wasn’t born perfectly; I never will be the image of perfection, only love.

I drink too much: I don’t speak a wisp of the emotions I feel, yet every emotion crashes over my being all at once in every moment. You will never know.

It has become so simple at this point; I simply just need to be shown that it’s not only me, that it is okay to be fucked up and terrified to live in the same moment as everyone else.