#immmmmmmmmmm

He doesn’t want to think about it, pushes it away but it makes him roam his hands over him again and again, making sure Eliott is right there with him.

He keeps pressing his face against him too, feels how cold Eliott’s skin is. How long has he been out here?

“Do you want to go?” They haven’t really spoken since Lucas said those first words when he crouched down ... however many minutes ago. He’s not sure how long it’s been.

Eliott looks up at him for a second before he averts his eyes again. Pushing his lips to the side as he exhales shakily. At first it looked like he was going to say something, but he remains silent. Lucas squeezes his hands that found themselves on Eliott’s shoulders.

“Eliott?”

“Where?” Lucas’ chest aches with how small Eliott’s voice sounds.

“To mine? Or- I mean if you’d want to go to yours we can go there, too!”

Eliott shakes his head, started to do so as soon as Lucas mentioned maybe going back to his. “I fucked up. I don’t want to go back there. My parents-” He breaks off when his chin starts to tremble.  

Lucas presses his face closer again, lets his nose dig into Eliott’s cheek, his hands finding their way to his neck.

“Then let’s go to mine.” He says and sits back again. Tries to make his voice sound sure and secure.

Eliott’s eyes find him, search his face. “Yeah?”

Lucas nods, a cautious smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “Yeah!”

As soon as Eliott stand up with him Lucas grasps his hand, clutches it more of less in his and holds on tightly for the whole way. They’re quiet as they walk slowly to the coloc. Eliott seems exhausted and Lucas is relieved as soon as his front door comes into view, because he wasn’t sure if Eliott would make it with the way his shoulders sagged and he seemed so much smaller than usual.

When they finally get inside it’s dark in the hallway, which is a good sign that noone else is home, but he still calls out as they toe out of their shoes.

Afterwards Eliott just stands there, looks to the unmade bedding on the sofa but doesn’t move toward it.

Lucas can’t blame him, it doesnt really seem like much of a sanctuary right now.

Lucas tugs on the hand he’s still holding.

“Come on.” he says, voice gentle, as he leads him to Manon’s room. He’ll just text her that he needs to stay in there for the night.

They sit down on the bed beside each other, Eliott with drawn up shoulders and a grimace that tells Lucas he’s trying to hold back tears. It feels like a punch to his chest. He leans forward and nuzzles the side of Eliott’s hair with his nose, before he presses a kiss to it. He stays close after, rests his chin on Eliott’s shoulder. The hand that’s free lifts up to cup his cheek and he lets his thumb rub soothingly over his cheekbone.

“You can cry. I’m here. We’re here together and” he squeezes the fingers that are still holding Eliott’s “I won’t let go.” A sob shakes Eliott and he slumps against him, hiding his face in the crook of Lucas’ neck.

Later, when they lay down, Eliott presses close to his chest, their arms and legs wrapped around each other, as close as possible.

Lucas is stroking his fingers through Eliott’s hair, pushing his lips forward occasionally to place a kiss to Eliott’s forehead that’s resting against his mouth.

Eliott cried for a while and now seems to be drained completely. Lucas whispers his promise against his skin again, before Eliott drifts off to sleep.