#imcompetence

Under the moons gentle light

We say good-bye to a sorry sight.

Her shoulders are sadly hunched

and in her fist her sweater is bunched.

  Another misfortune to behold

as their yelling of disappointment makes her cold.

Another failure added to the list

and her heart tightens like a fist.

  Day after day she falls

so she never stands too tall.

The unfortunate experiences grow

and it seems to start to slow.

  Again she's under the moons light

her head held high from insight.

Her shoulders are back

no longer she looks like a over-burdened rack.

  Slowly incompetence in her dies

even though she still seems shy.

So she says her good-bye

and breathes her last saddened sigh.

Because I always see fanart captioned with stuff such as,

"Just a little doodle I did today! :DDD"

And it's a f***ing masterpiece.

Ok, I know that i'm prone to ranting, especially when it comes to issues about my father, and I do apologize for bringing up this issue, which has essentially turned into me beating a dead horse. However, I've recently had something on my mind that has been driving me crazy that relates to him, so please bear with me. 

I've been feeling many pains in my stomaach recently, so I finally got an appointment with my doctor a few weeks ago to see if anything was up. Unfortunately, I had to see a doctor at the children's hospital in Providence, which would actually be a fitting section to add to Dante's circles of hell. Ok, I understand that the primary concern at a hospital is not necessarily supposed to be appealing or overly luxurious, but the place was so crawling with obnoxious wall murals and roaming with snot-nosed, obnoxious children that I felt much more ill by the time I left than I did upon entering.

Anyways, I ended up chatting with my doctor after quite some time, and he actually was a pretty stand up guy.  He wasn't obnoxious or overly intrusive in discussion, he just seemed very casual. "Maybe this experience wouldn't be too bad", that was my first mistake.

So after asking me some questions about my stomach and dietary habits, he took a look at my medical history. We were dicussing issues when, inevitably, my mom mentioned my dad's colon cancer. And wouldn't you know it, that wasn't on my file.

You heard me, the hereditary disease that took my father's life was nowhere on my fucking medical file.

Ok, what sort of ignorant, deluded, asinine thought process did whoever the hell was organizing this medical information go through while they were sorting all this out? I know it seems like I'm over-reacting, but I'm not. This is completely objective as far as I'm concerned. That is perhaps the most vital medical knowledge I have, currently the closest link I knowingly have to any life-threatening disease, nowhere in my medical history.

As far as the situation goes, it wasn't an issue. We brought it up, it was added in, no harm, no foul. I am just tired, FUCKING EXASPERATED, in the utterly contemptible behavior, actions, and though process behind the people who I'm trusting with my help and security. I recently had an equally appalling encounter with Providence police about an issue that they solved as well as a limbless man trying to play Jenga, but that's a rant for another day. 

How hard is it to click on the "more info" button for Youtube videos and read what is written in there? apparently its next to impossible because for every.single.video. i ever watch that has music and has the song title in the description, there always has to be dozens of people who have to ask the most mindless question ever, which is... "What song is this?" Every time i read this, i want to take the persons face and push it into their computer screen and tell them to read the description.