Placing expectations on Holidays (Why I don’t do it)
I didn’t make a special post about it, but earlier this week, Imbolc came and went. Imbolc happens to be the first pagan festival I celebrated upon my return to this path last year. I don’t work with the Celtic pantheon, but I enjoyed learning some about Brigid, and Cailleach and her firewood. And it was my first time celebrating a specifically pagan holiday, so it was really special to me. I can’t recall doing too much... I greeted the sunrise, lit a candle, did a tarot spread, and made a Brigid’s cross out of paper with a wish written on it.
The vernal equinox that followed... I can’t really remember doing too much. I know I did a tarot spread, and I probably made a point of getting out in nature, but it was rather low-key. Beltane was the same story. Definitely did the tarot spread, lit a candle, probably tried to do some cleaning in the week leading up to it, but didn’t do too much.
I had high hopes for the summer solstice, however. My sister was visiting because of an event we were planning on being at, the weather was wonderful, and I had purchased a fire-pit, so I wanted to do a kinda-sorta bon fire in addition to my now-expected holiday-specific tarot spread.
The day did not go as I planned. I had to work in the morning, which cut into my enjoying the day time, and the event my sister was in town for ran longer than expected (or more specifically we stayed longer than we expected to) so it was dark by the time we got back to my house. And it had rained recently enough that my firewood (which was already on the green side) wouldn’t start. After a good half-hour or more we gave up on the fire idea, and my sister headed home. I didn’t realize just how many expectations I had placed on having a fire until I faced the disappointment of it just not happening.
In some ways it mirrored other experiences I’d had with other holidays, notably Christmases throughout the years. The expectations I placed on Christmas, especially as a teenager, oftentimes caused me to be vaguely disappointed, usually because I didn’t get to open my presents as early as I wanted, or because I didn’t get the presents I had really wanted, or didn’t get as many presents as I would have liked. Not the kind of disappointment you tell your parents about when they had done the best they could under the circumstances.
All of this to say that I no longer place expectations on holidays. I make plans, I create “would like to do” lists, but I don’t hold expectations for how a day is going to go.
This past winter solstice is an example of how that mindset has served me very well so far. I’m sure many people recall that it was a particularly poignant solstice because a Jupiter-Saturn conjunction was happening at the same time. But December 21 was one of my last days of wrapping things up at work before Christmas, so I was fairly busy, and had an appointment that afternoon in addition to everything else, so I was extremely happy that I hadn’t actually made concrete plans, because they probably wouldn’t have happened. I did my usual tarot spread and a small ritual, but nothing else, and I was happy with that.
Placing expectations on certain days tends to leave me disappointed, so I’ve made it a habit to not do it, and I’m much happier for it.
