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psycho pete thoughts (sorry)

a bunch of headcanon ramblings and exploration of canon facts

my main headcanon:

psycho pete is transfem and still an egg (with some cracks in it) when we meet her

explanation? well you see, she's transfem because, in all honesty, those are just the vibes. i lied about waxing poetic, it is simply in the cards. the long hair in the youth, the unconfident boymode demeanor, the lasting mental health struggles...i just love psycho pete and i think estrogen would save her. and so ive decided it has. she is living happily in los angeles having found her community. ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO TRANSITION!! NEVER KILL YOURSELF!!!

also for funsies i claim the urinal bypass here as a bottom dysphoria sit-to-pee

cmon just look at her

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anyways ive been having fun breaking down every piece of information about peter that we're given, so, moving on with fleshing out the character.

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childhood personality thoughts:

i think "mild mannered pete" is the most accurate pete, but as an unmedicated kid the crippling social anxiety came with selective mutism and as such she came off as a stoic silent type to mac and charlie and they thought that was awesome

and this later evolved into the "psycho" antics we know the freight train got up to (screaming at babies and arranging mass animal fights namely), undoubtedly due to being introduced to alcohol

i can see the screaming at babies in particular to be a misplaced anger at their own childhoods being released, cuz not a single one of those freight train kids was happy....

genuinely think pete got de-facto leader'd because of how tall she is, and the freight train hyped the "psycho" angle up so much that peter was the only way they ever got out of getting their asses kicked

i also have to wonder how much of this "sense of humor" was peter making very sincere suicidal threats and the rest laughing them off because in the reveal its shown that the suicidal talk was always there but charlie and mac could "handle" it, yet they react with surprise and discomfort like they never even noticed

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addressing the rumors:

my explanation for this, as peter's violent personality is revealed to be fabricated, is that this was a prank call by someone else entirely just being a dick, because i think peter would be institutionalized (or incarcerated*) at this point anyways, and at least in my experience they don't really let you make phonecalls to just anyone when youre warded. seeing how childish the bullies still act in these episodes makes me believe someone in their class would do this to keep the "psycho pete" rumors going, as gossip appears to still be popular tender

*the next rumor occupies a lot of my brain

im of 2 minds when it comes to this claim:

peter never went to prison and was only institutionalized, which was eventually blown out of proportion as word got around

peter DID go to prison (my thought being due to an attempted suicide by cop) and WAS later transferred to a mental institution instead, so not exactly an insanity plea, but similar enough the information spreads and grows its own backstory

according to this interaction i feel like #1 is more canon compliant

however, i love tragedy, so i lean towards the latter being true and peter just not wanting to mention it

if we accept #2, perhaps the SbC attempt was done on christmas (an unfortunately common suicide day), leading to a very dramatic arrest and that lending itself to the "christmas dinner" rumor being started

additionally i can see peter's family moving out of the area after the incident and this fueling the rumor they've been killed

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completely unanchored fabrications:

dooley/petey being akin to charlie/mac, when charlie and mac are hanging out with dennis and schmitty instead, or off doing their own thing, so too are dooley and pete.

dooley and pete's depressions feeding off one another, and dooley being the one who gets peter to drink, saying everythings easier when you're drunk, the fear goes away, trust me

dooley's suicide being so catastrophic for peter it triggers the spiral that leads to her attempt and incarceration/institutionalization

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the general character timeline given all this:

HIGH SCHOOL pete is a suicidal loner too socially anxious to make friends

struggling greatly with this, pete is resigned to end it one evening, taking a walk to the strawberry mansion bridge with a plan to jump, where mac happens to be hanging out, just being a cool dude and definitely not also very sad and thinking of his father

mac takes a liking to peter and all but forces her into the gang, introducing her as "the strong silent type" they've needed for the group dynamic to charlie and dooley (charlie of course arguing that HE'S the strong silent type)

at first peter mostly takes a backseat watching the other three, but connects closely with dooley who spends more time visibly struggling with his mental health (in a way that pete can recognize) than charlie and mac

wanting to learn to hide her struggles in a way that makes her likeable as dooley, peter tries drinking too

"psycho pete" is basically peter's drunken mr. hyde, and this escapism leads to the darker antics that charlie, mac, and dooley's own escapism feeds off of, and pete's explosiveness that's so counter-character to her silence moves her into the ringleader position

the more wild the antics the more rumors spread and peter basically becomes a protector for the bullied charlie and mac, everyone else too afraid to challenge her (dooley doesn't get bullied to the same degree because even though he hangs out with losers, he throws the best parties)

despite the protection, charlie and mac never get as close to peter as dooley does, pete being moreso someone they follow around for fun or run to when they need something, but it still means everything to her

COLLEGE pete thinks seriously about gender for the first time

she elects to go to the same local college as dooley, too afraid to branch out and make new friends. some of the rumors follow her. neither graduate, but this brings them even closer.

after a brief 5150, peter moves back in with parents and regularly attends outpatient treatment, which helps. she quits drinking and starts medication. her family is supportive.

weight gain and hair loss test pete's resolve but she is determined to get better

dooley still parties too much and peter worries about it. they remain close, but the one-sided alcoholism strains their relationship. dooley's parents never clock anything wrong.

ADULT dooley kills himself right before they turn 30. peter spirals, stops medicating, and starts drinking again

she attends the funeral and screams into the casket

any thought about gender is sidelined

while attending family christmas at the end of the year, trying to drink it all away, peter snaps and leaves, blackout drunk, and wanders the street. not succeeding in jumping off the bridge as a kid, lack of access to firearms, and failing to overdose properly over and over, peter decides the only way to kill herself is suicide by cop, and she attacks a police officer hoping to be shot. she is instead tasered and arrested.

for assault on an officer in the 2nd degree, peter is convicted of a felony and is sentenced to 10 years, getting put on suicide watch and residing in the special needs unit

after some years peter's sentence is "reduced" due to good behavior and she is "released," but as a condition of said release, is required to complete the sentence in a state hospital, followed by monitored intensive outpatient treatment

POST-INCARCERATION after completing the state-mandated treatment, peter is left adrift, never having managed to make lasting connections with any of the others in the unit

though keeping up with her medication, she becomes isolated again, and the gender thoughts make their way to the surface once more

so she calls the guys who always liked her...