#txtpst

my main headcanon:

psycho pete is transfem and still an egg (with some cracks in it) when we meet her

explanation? well you see, she's transfem because, in all honesty, those are just the vibes. i lied about waxing poetic, it is simply in the cards. the long hair in the youth, the unconfident boymode demeanor, the lasting mental health struggles...i just love psycho pete and i think estrogen would save her. and so ive decided it has. she is living happily in los angeles having found her community. ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO TRANSITION!! NEVER KILL YOURSELF!!!

also for funsies i claim the urinal bypass here as a bottom dysphoria sit-to-pee

cmon just look at her

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anyways ive been having fun breaking down every piece of information about peter that we're given, so, moving on with fleshing out the character.

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childhood personality thoughts:

i think "mild mannered pete" is the most accurate pete, but as an unmedicated kid the crippling social anxiety came with selective mutism and as such she came off as a stoic silent type to mac and charlie and they thought that was awesome

and this later evolved into the "psycho" antics we know the freight train got up to (screaming at babies and arranging mass animal fights namely), undoubtedly due to being introduced to alcohol

i can see the screaming at babies in particular to be a misplaced anger at their own childhoods being released, cuz not a single one of those freight train kids was happy....

genuinely think pete got de-facto leader'd because of how tall she is, and the freight train hyped the "psycho" angle up so much that peter was the only way they ever got out of getting their asses kicked

i also have to wonder how much of this "sense of humor" was peter making very sincere suicidal threats and the rest laughing them off because in the reveal its shown that the suicidal talk was always there but charlie and mac could "handle" it, yet they react with surprise and discomfort like they never even noticed

</3

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addressing the rumors:

my explanation for this, as peter's violent personality is revealed to be fabricated, is that this was a prank call by someone else entirely just being a dick, because i think peter would be institutionalized (or incarcerated*) at this point anyways, and at least in my experience they don't really let you make phonecalls to just anyone when youre warded. seeing how childish the bullies still act in these episodes makes me believe someone in their class would do this to keep the "psycho pete" rumors going, as gossip appears to still be popular tender

*the next rumor occupies a lot of my brain

im of 2 minds when it comes to this claim:

peter never went to prison and was only institutionalized, which was eventually blown out of proportion as word got around

peter DID go to prison (my thought being due to an attempted suicide by cop) and WAS later transferred to a mental institution instead, so not exactly an insanity plea, but similar enough the information spreads and grows its own backstory

according to this interaction i feel like #1 is more canon compliant

however, i love tragedy, so i lean towards the latter being true and peter just not wanting to mention it

if we accept #2, perhaps the SbC attempt was done on christmas (an unfortunately common suicide day), leading to a very dramatic arrest and that lending itself to the "christmas dinner" rumor being started

additionally i can see peter's family moving out of the area after the incident and this fueling the rumor they've been killed

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completely unanchored fabrications:

dooley/petey being akin to charlie/mac, when charlie and mac are hanging out with dennis and schmitty instead, or off doing their own thing, so too are dooley and pete.

dooley and pete's depressions feeding off one another, and dooley being the one who gets peter to drink, saying everythings easier when you're drunk, the fear goes away, trust me

dooley's suicide being so catastrophic for peter it triggers the spiral that leads to her attempt and incarceration/institutionalization

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the general character timeline given all this:

HIGH SCHOOL pete is a suicidal loner too socially anxious to make friends

struggling greatly with this, pete is resigned to end it one evening, taking a walk to the strawberry mansion bridge with a plan to jump, where mac happens to be hanging out, just being a cool dude and definitely not also very sad and thinking of his father

mac takes a liking to peter and all but forces her into the gang, introducing her as "the strong silent type" they've needed for the group dynamic to charlie and dooley (charlie of course arguing that HE'S the strong silent type)

at first peter mostly takes a backseat watching the other three, but connects closely with dooley who spends more time visibly struggling with his mental health (in a way that pete can recognize) than charlie and mac

wanting to learn to hide her struggles in a way that makes her likeable as dooley, peter tries drinking too

"psycho pete" is basically peter's drunken mr. hyde, and this escapism leads to the darker antics that charlie, mac, and dooley's own escapism feeds off of, and pete's explosiveness that's so counter-character to her silence moves her into the ringleader position

the more wild the antics the more rumors spread and peter basically becomes a protector for the bullied charlie and mac, everyone else too afraid to challenge her (dooley doesn't get bullied to the same degree because even though he hangs out with losers, he throws the best parties)

despite the protection, charlie and mac never get as close to peter as dooley does, pete being moreso someone they follow around for fun or run to when they need something, but it still means everything to her

COLLEGE pete thinks seriously about gender for the first time

she elects to go to the same local college as dooley, too afraid to branch out and make new friends. some of the rumors follow her. neither graduate, but this brings them even closer.

after a brief 5150, peter moves back in with parents and regularly attends outpatient treatment, which helps. she quits drinking and starts medication. her family is supportive.

weight gain and hair loss test pete's resolve but she is determined to get better

dooley still parties too much and peter worries about it. they remain close, but the one-sided alcoholism strains their relationship. dooley's parents never clock anything wrong.

ADULT dooley kills himself right before they turn 30. peter spirals, stops medicating, and starts drinking again

she attends the funeral and screams into the casket

any thought about gender is sidelined

while attending family christmas at the end of the year, trying to drink it all away, peter snaps and leaves, blackout drunk, and wanders the street. not succeeding in jumping off the bridge as a kid, lack of access to firearms, and failing to overdose properly over and over, peter decides the only way to kill herself is suicide by cop, and she attacks a police officer hoping to be shot. she is instead tasered and arrested.

for assault on an officer in the 2nd degree, peter is convicted of a felony and is sentenced to 10 years, getting put on suicide watch and residing in the special needs unit

after some years peter's sentence is "reduced" due to good behavior and she is "released," but as a condition of said release, is required to complete the sentence in a state hospital, followed by monitored intensive outpatient treatment

POST-INCARCERATION after completing the state-mandated treatment, peter is left adrift, never having managed to make lasting connections with any of the others in the unit

though keeping up with her medication, she becomes isolated again, and the gender thoughts make their way to the surface once more

so she calls the guys who always liked her...

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in conclusion:

I JUST FEEL THE CARGO OKAY I THINK FOR TOO LONG AND THESE THINGS HAPPEN I LOVE YOU PETEY I KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IT UP IN LOS ANGELES

It was 10:55 pm in New York where you had a cush apartment that had a beautiful view of the city. You were currently getting undressed and sliding on a short silky nightgown until you were interrupted by a knocking on your door. You padded over to your front door and cracked it open until you saw your boss, none other than Harvey Specter on your doorstep. He had a freshly forming bruise on his cheek and a busted lip, with a cut just above his eyebrow. You quickly let him inside of your apartment without either of you speaking. You helped him sit down on your couch as you retrieved a small first-aid kit from your bathroom.

“ What happened to you, ” I asked softly as I cleaned his cut and busted lip , making him wince.

“ It’s nothing. ”

You didn’t press the matter further as you finished cleaning him up followed by putting a small pink band aid on his cut, before getting him a bag of peas for his cheek. You both sat there quietly as you held the bag to his cheek.

“ You really only had pink bandages, ” he asked as he chuckled softly before taking the bag of peas from you and holding it against his cheek.

“ I like pink, ” I said as I smiled. “ So.. will you tell me what happened? ”

Harvey sighed before looking into your eyes, “ Louis and I got into a fight. ”

My eyes widened as he said he fought Louis, “ Over what?! ”

That’s when Harvey sighed and shook his head. He refused to tell you why even though you kept pestering him.

“ Can I ask why you came to me, ” I asked softly as I looked up at him.

“ I- I just knew you’d be here. ”

You looked at him skeptically but decided to believe him. You were so focused on his small injuries that you hadn’t been noticing his eyes trailing down your body. 

“ I- should get going, it's late, ” Harvey stood up and set the bag of peas down on your table.

You walked him to the door and smiled at him as you both stood there. He stared down at you before turning away to leave, but you stopped him by grabbing the sleeve of his suit jacket. He turned back around to face you as you pulled him back into your apartment. You pulled him in by his tie as you smashed your lips onto his. His arms wrapped around your waist pulling you closer as he kicked the door shut with his foot. You kissed him harder as you pushed off his suit jacket, discarding it on the floor. He picked you as you wrapped your arms around his neck while stumbling back into your bedroom. He laid you down on the bed as his hands wandered under your nightgown as he kissed you harder. Your hands pulled off his tie and then quickly unbuttoned his shirt before he pulled your nightgown over your head.

“ Harvey- wait, ” I said softly as I put my hands on his chest pushing him back slightly. “ I don’t want this to be- to be a one time thing. ” 

Harvey paused before he kissed you deeply again while yanking down your panties. He began to press open mouthed kisses down your body as he pulled open your thighs, he looked up at you before burying his face between your thighs. You moaned his name loudly as he lapped at your folds. He smirked as he felt you coming undone so quickly. Harvey slowly slid two of his fingers into you as he sucked on your clit. Your hips bucked up against his face as you neared your climax. Harvey pinned your hips down as he pulled away and licked his fingers clean as he stood up. 

“ No- no please, I was so close, ” I whined as I tried to push him back down.

Harvey smirked as he cleaned off his face and fingers before pulling off his belt. He kissed you gently before securing your wrists to the headboard with his belt. You watched as he pulled off his pants and boxers before moving back on top of you. He cupped your cheeks as he kissed you deeply before parting your thighs and pressing the head of his cock against your entrance. He slowly pushed inside of you making you moan as he filled you completely. Your hands pulled against the restraints as you moaned his name loudly as he slammed into you. Harvey pulled one of your legs up onto his shoulder hitting deeper than you thought possible. He bit down on your neck covering you in marks as his hips slammed against yours. 

“ Fuck- Harvey! ” I moaned his name loudly as my back arched and I came around his cock as he mercilessly slammed into me.

He finished soon after you cumming deep inside you as he kissed you deeply. He gently rolled off of you as he caught his breath. Once he had calmed down he unbuckled the belt from around your wrists and cleaned you both off. As he laid back down beside you he took your wrists in his hand and massaged them gently.

" I'm sorry about that, " Harvey said softly as he kissed your wrists that had a bright red mark around them from his belt.