#ieromassacre

1&4:

I traced the sides of the brick wall. The air still smelled like rain and the crickets chirping made me feel lost. Lost in a different world, one where talking midnight walks was normal. But there I was standing outside an abandoned gas station calling you.

“God, it’s so fucking hot out,” I groan into the phone.

You chuckle, “It’s because you’re there.”

I have to take a deep breath before responding. “Oh my lord you’re too good to me.”

“So where are you right now anyway?” You ask like the mother hen you are.

I don’t want to tell you out of fear of worrying you. “Just going for a walk, you know, gotta catch ‘em all.”

You laugh but you know I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be. “So you know sleepovers?”

“Yeah, mine were really GAY.”

“Shhhh, I know. But you know how sleepovers, when it’s late, people admit things late at night?” You finish up on the other line.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” I reply. The air feels heavy suddenly, it’s going to rain again.

“Do you want to get philosophical and gay?” You ask. There’s a bit of anxiety in your voice. As if you’re going to learn something dangerous.

“Always,” I smile. A knot ties up in my stomach. These kind of things are never forgotten, they mean more than wedding vows, eulogies, love letters.

“What is love? I know that sounds cheesy but what is it really” You ask. I can tell your voice quieted down.

I swallow hard. A thousand things go through my mind. Love means big red hearts and flowers. Laughter and kisses. Butterflies in your stomach and sleep sundays. Seeing a baby smile. Watching a dog sleep with his favorite toy. Sleeping and being held close. Pancakes at 4:00pm with your best friend.

“Are you still there?”

“This.”

Your voice tightens in shock. “What does that mean?”