#idsohee

{backstage during boy in luv era with @idsohee}

jinsung never gave much thought to the duality of a performance. he’d spent years catching the tail end of music programs while studying for exams, never really paying too much attention, instead just left humming songs under his breath. he never knew how hot the lights could be, never knew how loud the music could get, or how small the stage actually was.

he also never gave much thought to what happened behind the scenes, not until he was caught in the flow of it all. by now, a year into atlas’ career, he probably should be used to it. but he’s not sure that he’ll ever be. jinsung knows he’ll never get used to the feeling of nerves that bloom like some flower in the curve of his throat, the flowers growing fuller, slowly choking him, eating his breaths.

he sits on the couch, his phone in his hands as he turns it over and over again, screen blank of any notifications, message to his mother left unread. he takes in a deep breath and lets it out in a heavy burst of air, making his manager jump before getting shooed away, out of the waiting room.

jinsung takes another deep breath and eats the rest of his nerves, reminding himself of who he is, of where he is, and what he’s about to do. it takes a moment or two to pstich himself back together, to tuck in all of the edges before he finds himself out in the hallway. and of course it’s packed to the brim, with idols and cameras and employees of both the network and various companies. jinsung nods and bows when it’s called for as he makes his way through a tussle of bodies and things, until he ducks through the open doorway, swallowed by darkness as he finally finds himself backstage.

the music is loud as the performance on stage winds down to a finish, the cheers of the fans even louder than the music had been. jinsung takes a step back, leaning against the open doorway as he checks his phone for what he promises himself will be the last time. and as he pockets it and looks up, he can’t help but to curse his luck as he makes eye contact with sohee.