#identity issues

'I hate looking into the mirror and genuinely hating or fearing what I see looking back at me.

Like, that's not me?

But who is me if not the one who is staring back?

Mirrors don't lie. They can't. They reflect back what you've given them.

So if not me, then who?

I try to change it, to fix it. To make it me.

I fix my hair, put it up in ways that might feel right,

I change my clothes, matching styles I would wear,

I change my voice, sometimes higher sometimes lower, sometimes without even noticing it.

Maybe these changes will help, maybe when I finally look back in the mirror it will be me staring back.

But it's not, and it never is.

Not when I change my hair,

Not when I change my clothes,

Not when I change my voice.

Not when I feel like I've changed.

My face is wrong.

Eye's are the wrong color, sometimes even the wrong shape.

Face is too round, yet too skinny.

Hair too long, yet too short.

Every feature is wrong.

Just wrong.

My body is wrong.

Too skinny, yet too big.

Too tall, but not nearly tall enough.

Strong but never strong enough.

Every feature is wrong.

Just fucking wrong.

But that's just my reality.

Because mirrors don't lie,

Even when shattered.

Even then it becomes different pieces.

They reflect back every broken piece of you, just like it is.

They reflect everything you show it, as much as you might not want it too.

Because mirrors always reflect what you've given them. Not what you wish they would show you back.'

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This is part of the reason we redid our theme after mirrors.