#identity ask

Greetings & welcome!

(Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome! Im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!)

#3 - list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

911 Lonestar - Carlos. 100% Carlos. Am I the furthest thing you can get to from a gay Tejano man living in Texas, yes, yes I am. Do I still identify with 90% of issues. Yes, yes, I do.

911 (OG) - Tommy. I identify with his age, and humor, and exasperation, and general Towanda-ness (aka I am older and I have better insurance - courtesy of Fried Green Tomatoes).

#4 - do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

Sure. Now. I spent a lot of elementary and high school not loving it because nobody can spell it or pronounce it, and we moved a lot so I had to do the whole song and dance every couple of years. Did I spend a lot of school low grade wishing my name was something like Katherine, yes I did. But, I like it now. I'm chiller about when people mispronounce it now, and more people make an effort to get it right when you're an adult.

I actually love the diminutive of my middle name, and if I could have sold my parents on calling me that I would have.

Thank you SO much for this ask @bakashisensei I'm super bored today ;asldkgjk

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

I'm so sorry for the wall of text ahead, but I actually need to rant about this lmao

I have a love-hate relationship with my name. I think it's pretty and that it suits me, plus I get compliments on it all the time, but dear god is it a headache.

First of all, my full name is LONG. Which makes filling out paperwork with small boxes annoying.

Second, it's inconsistent on my most important documents because it includes a hyphen, which is allowed on birth certificates but not social security cards.

Third, I grew up thinking the hyphen was between my middle names, but it's actually between my first name and my first middle name. I didn't discover this until I went to college and had a reason to look at my birth certificate.

Fourth (and worst), there's also an apostrophe in my name, which gives panic attacks to computers on a regular basis. Pharmacies, hospitals, voting registration, websites, etc. I never know if it's going to take the apostrophe or not and it's enormously irritating.

Fifth, because I go by one of my middle names, I'm constantly called the wrong name. Teachers, doctors, therapists, physical therapists, etc. They call me by my first name, and even if I correct them repeatedly, they often never stop calling me by the wrong name.

Sixth, I'm named after the heroine of Gone with the Wind. Which. Well. When your namesake is the protagonist of (arguably) the most influential racist novel in the English language? I think the problem there speaks for itself.

The lesson you should take from this: think of the challenges that might come with the name you give your child!!

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

I'm not really A Music Person, and there aren't any particular artists that I feel connected to, but there are a few songs that will make me instantly cry because of how much I feel when I hear them:

"Praying" by Kesha

"She Used to Be Mine" from "Waitress", particularly Katharine McPhee's version

"Sober" by Demi Lovato

"Sorry" by Halsey

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

Beloved by Toni Morrison

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

Harry Potter Series (god I hate that JKR made this painful to list, but I can't leave it out if I'm honest)

A Song of Ice and Fire Series

Rosemary for Remembrance by @sintari isn't a novel, but it's better than most actual published works so fuck the rules. This fic influenced my writing style more than any book I've ever read. It's brilliant and I'll never stop recommending it.

Ooo, good ones

1. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read: The Warrior Cats Series by Erin Hunter. 

I’ve been reading them for basically all my life (still do, to this day) and they really helped shape me as a writer, cat lover, and creative person

Watch: Charmed (98)

This was the first show (that wasn’t a kids show lol) that I can remember watching from well probably too young tbh. I have vivid memories of coming home from school & watching while my mom folded laundry. I saw bits and pieces of the show many times before watching all the way through around the 8th grade & it struck me in a way it never had before, particularly Season 6. This led me to begin writing fanfiction and led me to an online community as well as an IRL one.

Listen: This is a tricky one...I can’t pick 1 artist or genre or song.

I’ve always loved music in general, I was in choir and orchestra at one point or another in school & have always found a way to express or understand myself & my feelings through music. My music tastes now are vastly different from those of my childhood, or even comparing this year to last and the year before that. I have a very eclectic taste in music, part in thanks to my parents, drama club, fandom, and just music I’ve found on my own. Spanning rock, country, pop, musicals, alternative, folk, and more. From songs from the 50s to Today. 

To understand me right now, I would recommend:

Any song from the last two Taylor Swift Albums - folklore & evermore

Any song by The Amazing Devil

Flawed Design by Stabilo

Basically all Classic Rock (think Supernatural Soundtrack)

Or just ask & I’ll link you to my Spotify

3. List your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

For the sake of time & my tendency to ramble I’m just going to list my top 5 fandoms (in no particular order) right now without explanations - although, I’m more than happy to do a follow up to any of said characters/fandoms with the Why

Charmed - Chris Halliwell

Eureka - Jo Lupo

The Witcher - Jaskier

Castle - Kevin Ryan

Supernatural - Dean Winchester

8. What musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

Well, shoot, music ones always get me into trouble - I’ll try to be brief :)

Journey - I grew up listening to Journey with my parents & as a Detroit Red Wings fan - Don’t Stop Believin is my jam

Shawn Mendes - more songs than others, but I’ve enjoyed 90% of all his songs & some of his older stuff spoke to me as a growing teenager

Taylor Swift - mainly her last 4 albums, but I also grew up on her country songs

The Amazing Devil - newer discovery, but I am completely in love with the sound of their music and find myself listening to it most often when I am out walking in the woods, which is something I enjoy quite a bit

The Script - I’m Irish. They’re Irish. Also, more than that, their songs all have a very unique sound to them that I love

Thirty Seconds to Mars - I found 30StM during the height of my first Charmed obsession, back in the 7th or 8th grade, when I was first starting to listen to music on my own, separate from my family, and it was unlike anything I’d listened to before & for some reason it stuck & has stayed around, even now.

11 - Describe your ideal day.

My ideal day is waking up early but not having to go to work, then streching lazily in the bed, hearing the muffled sounds of the house, the coffe smell, then I would sit on the sofa watching silly programs/cartoons, drawing and having breakfastat the same time (drawing really good LOL) and being capable at the same time to interact with my friends and actually having fun and not axiety.        I wish for the day to go out and shopping something for me and feeling good and not tired, maybe  visiting my city in peace with no hurry, then having lunch in downtown with my bestfriend. in the afternoon trying to making something handmade like my dolls, my cosplays. then dinner. asmr videos and bed (maybe wathing a movie on mobile under the covers.

this is really boring I know LOL (also I would need the will of live of a iperactive person and the day should last 48 hours) 

19 - Which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

Pottermore said i was gryffindor, then I lost the password and said I was slytherin. then I lost the password again and I returned a gryffindor (all this to make the stupid patronus test) but once I did a very brave and heat headed thing for my sister for I guess I’m a gryffindor, I’m not cunning enough to be a silver snake

 27 - Do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Thank you!!

12. dog person or cat person? - cats every time!

15. five most influential books over your lifetime - thanks for this one!!!

1) The Lord Of The Rings by JRR Tolkien - that was the first book I got obsessed with. I started making up fanfic plots in my head over this one, though I never wrote them down.

2) Vanity Fair by William Makepiece Thackeray - Becky Sharp is such a great villain and it was the first book I read where I think I really valued that you can make someone unsympathetic very sympathetic.

3) The Owl Killers by Karen Maitland - harrowing story well told, really made me understand the value of good research when writing.

4) To Say Nothing Of The Dog or How I Found The Bishop’s Birdstump At Last by Connie Willis - this is my favourite book of all time and taught me how you can bring lots of influences together to make a great story.

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

The Possessive Investment in Whiteness: How White People Profit from Identity Politics by George Lipsitz

Discourse on Colonialism by Aimé Cesaire

An Ordinary Person’s Guide to Empire by Arundhati Roy

Silencing the Past: Power and the Production of History by Michel-Rolph Trouillot 

23. how often would you want to see your family every year? It really depends, I have a lot of family. If I’m in my own space, I’m willing to see some of them monthly. My sister can come see me whenever. If I have to go to them, then once a year is fine. Preferably to coincide with a Solo OT4 event in their town.

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality? Woman/Lesbian

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

Stayway by MUNA

Defenceless by Louis Tomlinson

Hurts 2B Human by Pink & Khalid

30. pick one of your favorite quotes. “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ~Adidas Ad circa 2004 (I know it’s trite, but I still think it really makes sense).

11. Describe your ideal day.

 While this changes a bit based on my mood, generally my ideal day includes lots of reading, watching a good movie, rain outside and a fire inside, tea, a dog to pet, lots of snacks, and general coziness. 

12. Are you a dog or cat person? 

Dogs ALLLLL the way. I don’t mind cats in general but I hate living with them. Seriously they dig around in their own shit and piss then walk on the counter, disgusting. Dogs are cuddly and wiggly and adorable and they go potty outside. 

20. Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else? 

Hogwarts. I am a big HP fan and if I could live in that universe and be a witch I would be fucking over the moon!

Thank you @wcgevampire-blog for the asks!