#ibweek2023

Beelzebub frowns. “I… don’t know.” They mentally flip through Hell’s most common terms - constantly being so busy meant Beelzebub had needed to help in Admissions from time to time, and had seen plenty of strange human concepts, but if ‘roller coasters’ had ever been one of them they can’t remember it. 

Gabriel frowns, then unwraps his arm from Beelzebub’s waist and jogs ahead a few paces. 

A human is sitting along the sidewalk, back pressed to the brick wall of a bakery, holding an overstuffed bag and looking unhappy. Gabriel skids to a stop in front of it and hands it a piece of human money as he asks, “What’s a roller coaster?” 

The human stares at him a moment, then gets slowly to its feet as it takes the money and Beelzebub catches up. Gabriel immediately puts his arm back around their waist. 

“It’s… A ride? A cart goes on a track and it goes-“ The human makes a dramatic swooping motion with one arm. 

“It’s fast?” Gabriel asks. 

The human nods. “Oh yeah. Crazy fast.” 

“It’s a ride?” Beelzebub asks. “As in, hum- people get in the cart and go that fast?” 

It nods again. 

Gabriel and Beelzebub exchange a look, then look back at the human. Gabriel hands it another piece of human money. “Where can we find one?” 

It stares at the money for a moment, presumably deciding if it’s worth telling them, then pockets it and says, “Hang on a second.” It takes out a phone - one of the ridiculous, sleek ones that look like what they carry around in Heaven - and pokes at it for a minute or two, not even speaking to it. Then, the human looks up and says, “There’s a carnival a few blocks from here. I can walk you there.” 

Gabriel beams, his million-watt Supreme Archangel Gabriel smile that isn’t quite genuine, but isn’t exactly a lie either. “Perfect!” 

So the human leads them to a carnival. It’s shockingly loud, even to Beelzebub, who’s used to loud. Full of smells Beelzebub can’t recognize, some of them pleasant, some of them less so. There are screams in the air they can’t pinpoint the cause of, along with metallic sounds like a stronger version of the noises the pipes would make moments before they burst. 

Gabriel’s smile freezes on his face as they approach, overwhelmed by so much new stimulation. Beelzebub tucks their bag of coffee into a pocket and gives him a squeeze, earning themself a grateful glance. 

Strange as it is, they’ve come this far, and they don’t need to speak to know that neither of them are willing to back down now. If humans can do it, so can they. Whatever ‘it’ is.

The human hands some of the money Gabriel had given to it to another human, who gives it more money in return, and ties a piece of paper around its wrist. It then steps back and nods them forward. Gabriel makes a face when he gets a paper bracelet of his own, but then they’re inside the gates and the human points up and ahead. “That’s a roller coaster.”

Beelzebub’s hand squeezes Gabriel’s of its own accord. “Humans ride that?” 

“Isn’t that awful… high?” Gabriel asks. “Because of gravity?” 

The human shrugs. “That’s half the fun? Did you want to try it?” 

Human shrieking is coming from the ride. Beelzebub is no stranger to human screaming, but they’re not sure what to make of the humans apparently doing it on purpose.

Gabriel looks down at them. They meet his gaze. 

“We’ve come this far,” Gabriel says. 

So the human directs Beelzebub to put their hat somewhere secure and leads them into a line, stopping briefly along the way to buy some sort of food that is, for some reason, presented on a stick that it has to throw away when it’s finished with it. 

Once they’re done with this little excursion, Beelzebub is going to insist they not leave home for a few days. It’s a lot to take in. They’re suddenly realizing why humans never seemed to be all that alarmed by Hell. At least Hell hadn’t had this much music and shouting going on all at once, and their terrifying features were just their faces, not costumes and paint they’d inexplicably put on. 

They wait in a line that puts Admissions to shame, and then the human grins at them. “Hey, lucky for you two - best seats in the house.” It points at the first cart in a long line of them and the two of them step into it, their tour guide hopping in one row behind. 

Gabriel and Beelzebub both jump as another human lowers a big metal bar over them, pinning them into the seats. They exchange a look, then look back at their human, who grins again. “To keep you from falling out. You might want to hold hands, if this is your first time.” 

Gabriel takes Beelzebub's hand with an uneasy look. 

It would be inaccurate to say either of them are scared. Anything a human can survive can be survived by an angel and a demon, and even if something goes horribly wrong, they can always miracle themselves to safety. But Beelzebub can’t remember the last time they went into something with so little idea of what the something was, and they know Gabriel has been no more adventurous. 

It’s a new kind of excitement, and Beelzebub hasn’t yet made up their mind if they like it when the cart they’re in lurches and shoots ahead. 

Once, Crowley had gone on a long and aimless tangent about how fast humans like to go. It had been about their invention of planes, or maybe rockets, Beelzebub can’t remember. They hadn’t really been paying attention. Crowley had been deeply approving, complaining about horses and how much better cars were, how this being in the air thing was bound to be even better. 

Beelzebub should have given him more credit. He had, apparently, been absolutely right - humans liked to go fast. Fast like Beelzebub wouldn’t have thought their corporeal body could handle. Fast like the humans should be terrified, and maybe they are because they’re still screaming, but they’re doing it on purpose. Beelzebub has seen a lot of humans - or at least a lot of human souls - get dragged into things they don’t want to do. There had been none of that in the line down below them, and as the cart shoots around a corner and tips on its side their human guide whoops from behind them as Gabriel's fingers tighten around Beelzebub’s. 

It goes on for what feels like a very long time. It slows down a few times, making Beelzebub think for a moment that it’s over, and then they would speed backwards or drop down like the humans had forgotten to keep building the road. 

They stumble a little against Gabriel when they get off, and he looks dizzy, one hand fisted into the back of Beelzebub’s coat. 

“Well?” the human asks. “What’d you think?” 

Beelzebub and Gabriel exchange another look. 

“I-“ Gabriel begins grandly, “-am not sure.” 

The human laughs. “Sounds about right for a first time. Give it an hour or so.”

So they do. Their guide flops down on a bale of hay and tells them to come over if they have any more questions, munching on a bag of something Beelzebub doesn’t want to ask questions about. 

They don’t try the food. It smells very strong and some of it is dripping, and they’re still making their way slowly through the options at their cafe. They aren't ready for whatever this is. They explore something called a House of Mirrors, which Beelzebub finds far funnier than Gabriel does, and they have to produce one of his little mirrors afterwards to assure him that it was just some bizarre human trick and not cause for concern. Beelzebub finds themself surrounded by flies without any effort at all, because the place is, for some reason, thick with them. They watch humans play at games that are most definitely rigged but either no one is noticing or no one cares. And, after an hour, they do cautiously try another roller coaster, which is a little more pleasant with the extra warning about what they’re in for. 

Still, Beelzebub is glad when they return home and collapse into bed, Gabriel not even protesting about showers or casual clothes for once. He’d handed their human some more cash and promised it good luck - something he definitely isn’t supposed to be doing anymore, but even if Heaven noticed, who would be willing to do something about it? - and now looked like he was really considering a proper night’s sleep for once. Beelzebub agrees. 

“They really do come up with the strangest things, don’t they?” Beelzebub says. 

Gabriel nods. “And for… no reason? Did you see a reason?” 

Beelzebub shakes their head. “None whatsoever. Crowley used to say that humans didn’t need reasons to do things. I never really believed him before.”

“Same with Aziraphale.” Gabriel lets out a tired but happy sigh and pulls Beelzebub close. “I guess they were right about more than just angels and demons being able to be friends.” 

Beelzebub is exhausted in a way that’s new for them, but isn’t actually unpleasant. They think they might want to try out some more of the strange human inventions, eventually.