#ian sinclair

"Wow Cassi you look terrifying with button eyes!" Indeed I do. but I already gave away my real name being Lillian with the signage. So I didn't want to give away my whole face as well. Got to keep some mystery on this blog!

There were two other Ciels at the convention with me! There was one in his typical outfit with the coat, hat, and cane. The other was dressed as Robin Ciel but a bit more masc, they were also accompanied by a Grelle Cosplayer who made their wheelchair covers into the contract seal which was so freaking cool!!! I ran into the first Ciel so often I wanted to ask for their discord and keep in touch, but just when I got up the courage they disappeared! Sad!!!

As for meeting the VAs, they were all so incredibly, truly, kind! All of them complimented my art and were like "Ciel is so cute!" Well. Except Tatum. Who laughed and said "Ciel looks PISSED" and I would have hit back with the line I practiced about how its because Sebastian said he couldn't have Funnel Cake because it was too hard to draw. But I was so nervous I just giggled and thanked him a fourth time. I'm really no good at meeting celebrities, my dad is such a friendly little chatterbox and has befriended so many but I just stand there grinning, blushing, thanking them, and giggling. I truly become brainless in front of the people I admire.

I even got to see Brina perform her music! I was so delighted!!! I don't usually like live shows because I'm very prone to overstimulation with noise. I definitely felt like I should have put in headphones to muffle it a bit but at that point I realized I was front row and Brina could see me. Luckily my joy at being in her presence won in the end!

(Speaking of her music, I realize most of you probably don't know she does music!!! She has a new song, Fine, out now and a new music video, Ghost, dropped back in Feb!!! Please support her music!!!)

I truly hope she didn't notice the actual honest to god stars in my eyes. I tried very hard to present myself as a normal, if a bit squeaky, fan. I didn't even tell her that Ciel helped me realize I was a lesbian because I thought he was a girl! I did very good, you should all clap for me.

I actually am so horribly off that prior to deciding to come to this convention just to get Brina to sign my art I had a strict ban on meeting any person I am too obsessed with in person. When I was 15 I met Misha Collins and I ended up holding up the line because I started hysterically sobbing and I was all alone without any guardian or friend to walk me away (the tickets were. 500 fucking dollars. I got straight As for a YEAR to pay for that) Ever since then I have been terrified of meeting my hyperfixations. Or engaging with them in public.